


to know I'm gonna be alright

by aiienharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Dad AU, Declarations Of Love, Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Falling In Love, Flawed characters, Fluff and Humor, Getting to Know Each Other, Heavy Drinking, I don't go into detail don't worry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Older Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Pining, Single Parent Harry Styles, Single Parent Louis Tomlinson, Strangers to Lovers, they are in their thirties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:21:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 61,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28072365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aiienharry/pseuds/aiienharry
Summary: Their life in Michigan wasn't temporary. But growing up moving from house to house, every home he'd ever stayed in seemed like a little blip in his life. Michigan was home for Hunter, his son, it was where he started his first day of preschool and went to his first after school daycare. It had always been just Hunter and him. Since the day he was born on a chilly October morning two weeks before Halloween. Harry could still remember what it felt like when Hunter was placed into his arms all those years ago.If someone were to ask, which he knew no one would, his favorite place they ever lived in for a brief time was in a small town called Piemouth, in Indiana. Even after all the yelling and the shouting and the beatings that never stopped no matter what house they stayed in, this one included, that was still his favorite place. A small little two-bedroom house just at the end of a quiet street, situated between two vacant houses.That’s where the two of them were driving too now.An ode to being in love, and finding happiness.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 20
Kudos: 110





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's here!!!
> 
> I have been working on this since October of this year, and I came up with the plot months before that, and I just wanted to say I am so proud of myself for this. It took a lot out of me to write this, and I can't believe I finished this in 2 months... and now it's the longest body of work I have ever produced!! I have spent so much time thinking about these characters and the way they behave and their flawed thinking and the way they treat others and the way others treat them and I just... I'm happy that you all get to read this and enjoy it!
> 
> I also want to thank Sonny (dryourtearsaway on tumblr) and Greta (hershelsue on tumblr) for helping me edit this fic!! You guys helped me in more ways than you will ever understand, and I really appreciate all the help and time you gave me!!
> 
> I don't want to make this longer than necessary but this is my baby, so please be gentle with her and make sure you read the tags! This fic features heavy themes and flawed characters!
> 
> Thank you.
> 
> [Fic post here](https://leedsau.tumblr.com/post/637498528218906624/to-know-im-gonna-be-alright-by-leedsauaiienharry)

There was always something so melancholy about driving from one temporary home to the next. Their life in Michigan wasn't temporary. But, growing up moving from house to house, every home he'd ever stayed in seemed like a little blip in his life. Michigan was home for his son, Hunter. It was where he started his first day of preschool and went to his first after school daycare. It had always been just Hunter and him, since the day he was born on a chilly October morning two weeks before Halloween. Harry could still remember what it felt like when Hunter was placed into his arms all those years ago.

Growing up, being what people would call a military brat, he was no stranger to moving around a lot like Hunter was. His family never stayed in one place for too long, everything was finite. 

If someone were to ask, which he knew no one would, his favorite place they ever lived in for a brief time was in a small town called Piemouth, in Indiana. Even after all the yelling, shouting and the beatings that never stopped no matter what house they stayed in, this one included, that was still his favorite place. A small little two-bedroom house just at the end of a quiet street, situated between two vacant houses.

That’s where the two of them were driving to.

It had been raining on and off since they started the drive down to Indiana. Harry glanced over at Hunter and smiled slightly. He was slumped against the passenger side door, mouth hanging open and phone held tightly in his hands. 

Hunter had just turned fifteen last month and they spent it with the curtains shut, TV on something random that they both enjoyed, and two of their own pizza boxes right beside them on the coffee table. Harry had let him stay home from school that day, which he normally never did, unless he was sick or really needed to.

Just before Hunter fell asleep on the couch, belly full of pizza, pop, and cheap chocolate cake, Harry told him they were moving. It wasn’t a normal occurrence for them to move around a lot and Harry prided himself on raising a stable one parent home for his son. As much as he loved (and eventually hated) moving around as a kid, he never wanted the same thing for Hunter. He wanted something solid and permanent for him, a place he’d always know as his home.

It killed him that he had to move them out of the only home Hunter had ever known. It wasn’t like Harry was just moving them for the sake of it. He’d been in between jobs for the last year, nothing ever really sticking until he'd applied to a job out in Indiana on a whim. He never thought he would get it, considering his lack of experience. But he had been interviewed over the phone twice and then, on a video call a week later and two days after the video call, they had offered him the job. The money was good, the neighborhoods close by were good and he knew he couldn’t continue to go on the way he was. Harry tried to keep up some semblance of normality for Hunter, but his kid was very smart and knew that something was up. Money was steadily running out.

Harry turned the radio up a little louder to drown out the sound of Hunter’s quiet snores and the rain as it beat against the car. They were an hour away from the house and Harry couldn't help but dread it. 

He didn’t tell his mother that he was moving from Michigan back to Indiana, he didn’t really know where she was nowadays. After his father died years ago, he never went back ‘home’. ‘Home’ as in some small town up north in California. It was where Harry had spent his two years of high school, and where Hunter was conceived and born and lived for four years of his young life. The memories he had there were smudged, except for Hunter’s birth. Anything familiar about that place was gone from his memories and he didn’t really want to remember anything. 

He called to check in on her once a month, giving Hunter a chance to talk to his grandmother and at least act like it was not weird he hadn’t seen her since he was little. Harry had learned that his life, his family, even the one he created with just Hunter and him, will never be normal. He made peace with that years ago.

They pulled up to the house later in the afternoon, half an hour before the movers showed up. The listing he saw online didn’t do this house the justice it deserved. All the memories he had of this place flooded back to him, even though, the house itself and the neighborhood were quite different. For starters, the two houses beside their new home weren’t vacant and seemed to be bustling with life.

Instead of their new house being a pale yellow color like it was the last time he saw it, it was now a very light grey. The neighborhood was a lot more lively. Before, it was mainly made up of old folks, but there were a lot more families this time around. Kids were riding their bikes up and down the street and men were mowing the lawn while their wives sat by the windows and watched. It was still quiet, which Harry loved the most about it. Growing up the youngest in his family of five, there was never a moment of quiet. 

It took Harry a while to get out of the car, his hands shaking as he opened the door. Going up to the mailbox and taking the keys, he opened the front door into the living room. The first thing he noticed was just how different everything seemed.

The floors must have been redone recently, the hardwood dark and shiny under the sunlight streaming into the house. The paint wasn’t an eggshell color, but a very light grey. To his left, was the small dining room that led into the kitchen and, to his right, was a small hallway where the bedrooms and the only bathroom were located. 

He knew this house like the back of his hand, knew which parts creaked the loudest, which cabinet was the squeakiest, which doors made the most sound when you opened them. All of that was gone and it was eerie when he tried to open that cabinet in the kitchen and no sounds were made. It made him feel like all of his memories were fake, like the things that occurred there had never happened. The fist-shaped hole that his dad punched into the wall in one of his fits of anger was gone, patched up and painted over like it was all just a bad dream.

Harry breathed in and headed to where the bedrooms were. Everything was so updated and new, it made him nauseated. The bedroom he shared with his siblings had been painted white instead of a pale blue color. There were no height chart, no dresser pushed up against the wall with a tv older than him on top and no bunk beds pushed into the corner or light up stickers on the wall.

With a sigh, Harry made his way back out to the front. The moving truck he rented was parked in front of the house and some of the neighbors were coming out to see what all the noise was, trying to be inconspicuous. A tired Hunter stood on the pathway pouting and rubbing the crud out of his eyes with a tight fist. 

Harry took most of their things from their old apartment. The couch, Hunter's bed, his own bed, and a lot more, just so he wouldn’t have to buy new things he couldn’t afford. 

He threw himself into helping the movers and unpacking boxes. Hunter took his boxes to his room and didn’t say a word to anyone. Harry had to direct the movers on where to put Hunter’s bed and some of their bigger furniture. He knew Hunter wasn’t happy in the slightest, but he hoped that he would understand that this was for the best.

Soon, everything was unpacked from the trunk and Harry paid the movers, sending them on their way. He ordered pizza from a place he hadn’t eaten at in years, that he was surprised was still open. Looking around the house, he sighed, hoping he could get all these boxes cleaned out in the next few days. He wanted the house to feel like a home as soon as possible. 

It was silent, save for the air conditioner shutting itself on and the sounds of children playing outside as their families barbequed and held potlucks. Hunter was still in his room doing whatever he was doing and Harry sat down on the couch, exhausted. He didn’t even have the energy to get the pizza when it came. He called Hunter to get his slices and was met with a tired-looking teenager. He rubbed his eyes and shook his loose curly hair out of his face. Harry smiled. He loved just how much Hunter glanced like him, like he had all of his own’s and his mother’s best features, even when he had a grumpy look on his face.

Harry nudged him with his hip as Hunter reached for a slice. “Is it really that bad?” He asked, taking a bite out of his slice.

Hunter liked plain cheese pizza with basil, while Harry liked his with lots of veggies and chicken. He’d always get half and half, only eating two of his five slices and pretending not to notice when Hunter ate the rest of it.

Hunter shrugged. “It’s alright, I guess. It’s better than an apartment, for sure, but I’m also tired.”

Harry nodded, kissing the top of his head after wiping his mouth. “I know, bug. But things are gonna start going right for us, I just know it.”

They ate in silence, since Harry didn’t have the heart to make Hunter tell him what he really felt. So, Harry gave him a hug and told him he loved him before Hunter headed off to bed. 

Putting the rest of the pizza in the fridge, Harry headed to his room to sort it out a bit. He put fresh sheets on the mattress, spent five minutes pushing his dresser under the only window in the room and positioned the moving boxes so he had a little walkway.

By the time he was done, a sheen of sweat pooled at his brow and lower back. He desperately needed a shower, but he was so damn tired. With a promise to take one first thing in the morning, he got himself ready for bed and collapsed onto the sheets. And, when Hunter snuck into his room and got into bed with him, all Harry could do was smile. Things were going to be okay for them, he knew they would, it had to.

+

In the morning, they went about their routines in comfortable silence. 

Hunter was the first to wake up. Harry heard him rummaging around in the kitchen, the sound of the microwave opening and slamming shut, him punching in the time to warm up his pizza, the smell of it wafting through the air, Hunter humming a little tune as he did so. 

Harry took a moment to think about how to structure their day. First, he wanted to unpack the living room and kitchen. At their old home, they never had a dining table, opting instead to eat on the couch together. Harry didn’t know if he really wanted to splurge and buy a dining table, he would have to think it over some more.

After unpacking the living room and kitchen, he wanted to go out and grocery shop, as well as get school supplies for Hunter. This year, he wanted to be more involved and hands-on. He contacted the high school Hunter was going to attend, set up a tour for next week and signed up to be at the local school meeting happening a week before school was to officially start next month. Before, he was too busy with work to really get involved,. When Hunter was younger, he did his best. As he got older it became harder to keep up with it all. Plus, Hunter wasn’t really a go-getter. He didn’t find any clubs or events at his school worth going to or being a part of. Harry hoped he could find his place here, that both of them would.

After spending a couple more minutes in bed, Harry groaned before getting up to get the day started. He never liked leftover pizza or breakfast, so, he headed straight into the bathroom and got himself ready. He had to clean everything out first just to put his mind at ease and then went rummaging through boxes to find his clothes, cursing his past self for not putting labels on any of his boxes. 

Afterward, around twelve, Harry finally got started in the living room. Even though he took most of their old stuff, he still wanted things to feel different here. He ordered new pillow covers that were coming in the mail later that day or tomorrow and a big one that would cover the whole couch. He wanted to spray paint the shelves a nice bright white color to contrast the dark hardwood floors. He got some command hooks to hang up family photos, none with his dad in them.

After about an hour or two of unpacking and cleaning as he went along, the kitchen and living room started to look great. He would get the paint he needed this weekend with Hunter, have him pick out the chalk paint he so desperately kept begging for. Maybe he’d find a little shop to get a rug, but that wasn’t a priority right now.

He surveyed his work with a smile. He hung up some photos of Hunter as a baby on the wall where the tv was sitting on its stand. Some pictures of his mom holding a two day old Hunter. Gemma and Dylan, his sister and brother, holding Hunter. One of the last times he saw them before the funeral. They talked sometimes, but not nearly enough, only calling on holidays, birthdays and any special occasions that called for it. 

“Looks…”

Harry turned around to a smiling Hunter standing in the door frame to his room. Harry could see things all over the floor in his room, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Looks like what, bug?” Harry said.

“Looks like a real home, but it doesn’t feel like it yet.” He said in a quiet voice. “It’s weird to not be living in an apartment anymore.”

“Well,” Harry said. “Hopefully, it starts to feel like home soon enough. I know, I know I uprooted your life, took you from your school and your room and—”

Hunter cut him off, “Dad, I swear it’s fine. The school was, sorry, but it was _shit_. But, I’m not mad or anything ‘cause we moved. I do miss living in Michigan, though, but it’s alright here, I guess.”

“Are you sure? If you really wanted to move back, you know I’d try to make it happen. I could… it would take a while, but I could try harder to find a job or go back to my old one.” Harry said.

“Dad, I promise I don’t mind. Not like I had many friends there.”

That startled Harry. “Hunter, I—”

He cut Harry off again with a wave of his hand, “It’s fine, It’s fine. I’m _fine_ , promise. I like being by myself, it’s better that way.”

Harry watched as he disappeared back into his room, shutting the door and leaving Harry out. It shouldn’t break his heart knowing that Hunter didn’t have any friends, especially with how okay with it he was, but it did. 

Growing up, with the frequency in which they moved around, Harry didn’t have any friends either. It was always just him, Gemma, and Dylan. As they got older and settled in that small town in California, Gemma and Dylan tried their best to break away from the family dynamic of just the three of them against the world. Harry had struggled, he had been seen as the weird kid who didn’t talk or talked too much at times. He wasn’t bullied, but he wasn’t well known or liked all that much either, and high schoolers could be cruel.

Harry grabbed his keys and wallet. It was obvious Hunter wouldn’t want to go shopping with him and he’d rather just pick out his school supplies himself than wait twenty minutes for Hunter to pick out one notebook and pen. 

“Hunter,” he yelled while toeing on his shoes. “Gonna go out and buy some groceries!”

“Okay!” Hunter yelled back, turning his speaker up to the highest it could go without Harry having to bang on his door to tell him to turn it down.

It brought a smile to his face listening to Hunter belt out the words to Green Day, it reminded him of being young. He kept that smile all the way to the store. Even as he grabbed a cart and started filling it up, he found himself humming the lyrics to the same song. 

Once the groceries had all been collected, Harry made his way to the picked-over school supply aisle. He mindlessly grabbed notebooks that Hunter would like, folders, pens, and even a new book bag to replace the nasty one he loved carrying around. He wouldn’t let Harry wash it, always got mad when he brought it up and told him that he didn’t need a new one, while duct tapping the straps back on.

Harry grabbed himself a little notebook and planner just for the hell of it, knowing that it’ll more than likely end up under his bed or in a random drawer somewhere by the end of the month. When he was a kid, he’d tried to journal after one of his teachers noticed how quiet he was in class. It was nice for a while, a good outlet to let out whatever teenage angst he was feeling at the time. And, whenever they would have a bonfire, on the rare occasion Gemma or Dylan stuck around the house long enough, he’d burn the completed journal much to his mom's chagrin. 

On the way home, Harry stopped to get donuts as a treat, then made another stop at a gas station to put gas in his tank and get some chips.

Once in the driveway, he called Hunter to come help him with the groceries. And, just as he made his way outside to do his second trip while Hunter made his first, he saw a woman talking to Hunter near the open trunk. 

“Uhh, hi!” Harry said, walking over and waving at who he assumed was one of his neighbors.

The platinum blonde woman turned to him with a huge smile on her face with flyers in her manicured hands. Hunter grabbed some bags and retreated with a laugh, while Harry rolled his eyes and plastered a smile on his face. Albeit a fake one like hers.

“Hello! You must be that cute young man's father?” She held out her hand and Harry shook it, taken aback at the force in which she gripped his hand. 

“Yes, umm. I’m Harry, Harry Styles. That’s my son, Hunter Styles.”

“Oh! Does he have a middle name?” She asked, way too enthusiastically. Not once had her smile wavered, and an amused looking Hunter appeared and disappeared again, still laughing. 

Harry’s cheeks were starting to hurt from just how much he was _‘smiling’_. “Umm, his middle name is Jackson.”

She put her free hand over her heart. “Oh, that’s so lovely. _Hunter Jackson Styles._ Sounds just like a movie star!”

“Oh well, I guess. I never really thought—”

“Well, my name is Helen _Kim_ Parker! I live _right_ over there!” She pointed across the street to a two-story house with a white picket fence and two people throwing a football together. “With my husband and my two sons. Jason Micheal Parker and Jean Parker.”

“Oh, does Jean have a middle name?” He asked.

She gave him a confused look. “No.”

Harry hummed, but didn't say anything.

She started to smile again. “I was just around the neighborhood, handing out flyers to all of the parents about this little event I’m trying to throw in partnership with the school council!” She continued.

She shoved the flyer in his face and Harry took it, quickly reading it over. It was about a mock debutante ball. Instead of it being for only teenagers, it would be for all school-age children. White dresses for the girls and black and white ties for the boys.

“Umm, wow.”

“I _know,_ right! When I was younger, we had our own little debutante ball back in Upstate New York and it was just the cutest thing. They got rid of it some years ago while I was in my twenties and I just wanted to bring it back, even if it’s just for one year. So, if you could just sign this little petition right here that would be _very_ darling of you.” She said, and Harry realized he didn’t really have a choice.

Hunter had gotten all the groceries into the house and, judging by how hard she gripped his hand, there was no way he was getting out of this without getting blacklisted by all the moms in the neighborhood.

“S—sure, but I don’t have a pen—”

“Oop! Got one right here for ya!” Helen held out the pen with an unwavering grin and glint in her eye. If Harry stared long enough, he could probably see a little twitch.

He signed his name and then Helen was on her way, giving him a quick awkward hug before waving goodbye. Harry stood there for a moment before shutting the trunk and hurrying back into the house before another PTA mom flagged him down. 

He found Hunter in the kitchen halfway done with putting the groceries away. He turned around and burst out laughing. “What the hell was that,” he exclaimed, slamming the fridge.

“Hunter,” Harry softly scolded, “ _language_ , and don’t slam my refrigerator.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, pursing his lips. “Okay, but you have to admit she was freaking weird.”

Harry grabbed the cereal and started helping put stuff away. “Yeah, well, we live in a town called Piemouth, everyone’s weird.”

“Why is it called that?”

Harry thought about for a second before shrugging. “Don’t know, wasn’t around here long enough to find out.”

Hunter hummed, leaning against the counter. “Well, it’s now my mission to find out.”

Harry snorted, grabbing up all the bags and shoving them in a drawer, turning and throwing an arm around his son. “Oh, really?” He nodded. “Well, all you have to do is look it up on your phone.”

Hunter groaned, “There’s no fun in that. I wanna, go to the library and do research.”

They slowly walked into the living room, bumping into each other. Harry had to laugh, “You haven’t stepped foot inside a library since you were at least ten. And I had to make you go for a school project.”

Hunter untangled himself from Harry with a huff. “I go to the library literally all the time.”

“Hunter, sweetheart. Okay, so, if you’ve been, then what did you go there for? What did you do?”

Harry watched as he crossed and uncrossed his arms, yawning, before saying, “My first year of high school. I sat in the library for lunch all the time. I didn’t read, but the librarian let me play games on the computers,” he shrugged.

Sometimes, Hunter and him were so alike it scared him sometimes. It scared him because he felt as if he had passed his worst habits and traits onto Hunter. But Hunter seemed to like his solitude, trading in going out on Saturday nights to playing his game all day and night instead. Harry felt as if he had no choice growing up, that no one would understand the anger brewing inside of him, the want to connect with his classmates, but also to push them away.

“I did the same,” Harry said, giving Hunter his school supplies and rolling his eyes fondly when he heard him starting his game back up in his room.

Harry spent the next few hours unpacking his room and the bathroom, cooked them something simple for dinner and retired to bed early.

+

The weeks passed by in a blur. Harry started his job two weeks after they moved in, and a week before that, he had to spend an hour scrubbing paint out of his hair because of Hunter’s impromptu paint fight.

The job was nice. He spent most of his time in a small cubicle and, God, did he wish he was doing something else, but he needed the money and a better way to support Hunter so he sucked it up. While Hunter was still out of school he opted for a more flexible schedule. Working as much as he could during the week so he could spend time with his son on the weekend. And when school started, he’d have a bit of money saved up, and he could take on a less flexible schedule so he could be there for Hunter.

Somewhere between the long endless hours at work and finding something to entertain Hunter while he was home, his mother called. It was while they were outside on a Saturday doing yard work, Harry showing Hunter how to mow the grass and how to pluck weeds around the yard when he got the call.

The sun was shining down on his sweaty back, even though it was early August, the heat still wasn’t letting up. Harry wiped the sweat off his brow and grabbed his phone from his back pocket, too annoyed with the heat to check the caller ID.

“Hello,” He breathed, plugging his ear and walking into the house to get away from the noise of the mower. He had found one brand new and cheap on Facebook Market last week.

“Is this Harry?”

Harry paused at the sound of her voice. To his bewilderment, his mother called him after just about ignoring his existence for the past year. His irritation started to grow by the second.

“Um, yeah. Mom?”

She sighed, “I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for days now, both Gemma and I have.” She said, completely ignoring the fact that she was the one who had been ignoring him and her grandson. He tried, he reached out, tried to message her through Facebook, even texted the number Gemma gave him two years ago, and nothing. Not a thing from anyone.

“Mom, please, don’t. I’m tired of these games you all like to play.” He said, pouring himself a tall glass of cold water.

“What?” She feigned shock, “We _have_ been trying to get a hold of you. Nonetheless, I came to pass on a message from your brother.”

Harry rubbed at his temple, frustration settling in. “And why can’t he call me himself?” He snapped.

She ignored him, “ _Well,_ he’s getting married soon. He finally proposed to Melissa! Isn’t that great?”

Harry had met Melissa a total of five times. Once when he was nineteen, just days before Hunter had been conceived, and all the other times during tense family dinners that they all stopped going to a long time ago. Dylan had never talked to Harry extensively about his relationship with her, had never talked to Harry extensively about anything but how to not make their dad angry at him. And if he got angry, where to hide until it was over.

“Wow,” Harry said, but he wasn’t really surprised. “That’s great, but again, why couldn’t he tell me himself?” He wanted to hear whatever excuse she gave for him this time. More often than not, it was that he was too busy with his life to talk to his little brother.

She clicked her tongue, and Harry could picture her rolling her eyes. “You know how busy he is with work and Melissa.”

As much as Harry had heard that same excuse before, it still stung every time. He knew that none of his siblings were close to their mom, or to each other, for that matter. Dylan was the most distant, then Harry, then Gemma, who at least made an effort to call him once every few months to catch up on things, but it still sucked. Harry wondered how things could have been had they had a stable upbringing. 

Harry sighed, “Okay,” he didn’t have the energy to fight with her. He knew the reason Dylan was close to their mom was because Melissa had been pushing him to reconnect or whatever. 

Hunter came in through the backdoor with a raised eyebrow, grabbing a glass and mouthing, _“Who is that?”_

_“Grandma,”_ he mouthed back. Hunter stared shocked for a brief second before sitting down on the counter to drink his water.

“Yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought, you know me. But, anyways, I’m actually busy right now with Hunter, and I-”

“ _Oh_!” She actually sounded shocked, “Can I speak to little Hunter, please? He’s fifteen, right? Did he get the present and card I sent? I think Gemma might have sent something too, and Dylan he may have called.”

Harry moved the phone from his ear and motioned to Hunter, asking him if he wanted to talk to her with a raise of an eyebrow.

Hunter seemed to think it over for a second before nodding and grabbing the phone, introducing himself. 

She was right, he did get the card and present she sent, Gemma did send Hunter a small gift, and Dylan did call and virtually sent him some money so he could buy his own present. It made Hunter happy and it made Harry a little annoyed, but he wouldn’t let that ruin his mood or Hunter’s birthday, so he buried it deep down.

They also called on Harry’s birthday months prior to that, Gemma even video messaged him from her apartment in New York. Dylan and him talked for hours, and his mom called and sent a little present. That annoyed him too, and sometimes he didn’t know why he got so angry and annoyed with his family. He knew why they were all like this, so distant with each other, sometimes not talking for months, and other times talking all the time and making plans to meet up somewhere soon in the future that Harry knew would never come. But it still felt good to make those plans and to pretend in that second that they were normal siblings who grew up normal and went on to have normal lives as a result of that. It was still annoying, though.

Hunter said his goodbyes with a little blush forming on the tips of his ears, it was the cutest thing ever. Whenever he was a baby and he was crying for his bottle, the tips of his ears would get red in an instant.

Harry took the phone back and saw that she was still on the line. 

“Mom, hi. So, I guess I’ll see you.”

She hummed, “I guess I’ll see you too, soon as well with Dylan’s wedding coming up. I think they’re still coming up with dates, but they’re thinking of Spring next year.”

“Will I even get an invite?” He muttered.

“Oh, Harry. Please, don’t start that. Please, you know you’ll get an invite to the wedding. Don’t you still live in that apartment in Michigan?”

Harry shook his head, he sighed again. “No, we moved.”

“Where?”

It took him a second to answer, but he did away from Hunter, walking into the living room. “We moved back to Piemouth, Mom.”

It was silent over the other line, he could hear her breathing a little if he strained his ears good enough. “Oh, I— Okay. I never would have thought you would ever go there again. I never actually thought you or your siblings would like go back to any of those houses we had growing up.”

Harry shrugged, “It’s actually completely redone like it doesn’t look like it used to. And the neighborhood is different, the schools, I don’t know what happened, but everything is so different, like they just dropped down a completely different town on top of the old Piemouth. There’s still the same mom and pop shops but I don’t know, it’s different, but I found a job that pays really well here.”

“Oh, that’s really, that’s really great Harry. It really is, I’m so happy for you. You’ve always been so… _independent_ growing up—” 

_I had no choice._ He thought bitterly.

“You’ve always moved quietly and done your own things by yourself without telling anyone,” Harry could hear a hint of irritation in her voice. It made him smile. “But I’m just happy for you! Have you met any nice girls or anything?”

“No,” he really wished this conversation would end soon. “Mom, I really have to go. Me and Hunter were doing yard work and we don’t really want to spend the whole day doing it. I’ll call you back later?”

“Yes! Later, I’ll see you.” The soon always went unsaid between them, because there will never be a soon. “Love you.”

“See you, love you. Bye, bye. Hunter said the same.” He finally hung up with a groan.

He would collapse on the couch but he was a sweaty gross mess and the new covers came yesterday and he’d already put them on. Harry took a few moments to decompress before he headed back into the kitchen. Hunter was scrolling on his phone with a pout, setting it down once Harry walked in and gave him a tight hug. 

Hunter used to be a really affectionate kid, always wanting to hold Harry’s hand, always wanting to sleep in the same bed (for a while they didn’t really have a choice), hating going to daycare because of how long he was away from Harry, always too far away from his dad. As he started to grow and become his own person and not just Harry’s son, he became distant, like all teenagers tended to do. Harry knew it was coming, and it didn’t surprise him when Hunter didn’t want to hold his hand anymore or throw tantrums because he didn’t want to sleep in his own bed.

What surprised him were the little moments in which Hunter let his teenage guard down and gave him a hug or randomly wanted to do something with him without Harry having to force him to put down the game and get out of his room. Things like him sneaking into Harry’s bed when they first moved in. Little moments when he stopped acting like showing his dad's affection was awkward and embarrassing.

Harry instantly wrapped his arms around his son, squeezing him tight, giving him a kiss on the top of his head and rocking them back and forth slowly. 

+

By the end of August, they got into a little routine that always started around school time. 

Harry would wake up, do his thing in the bathroom, make himself a small breakfast, leave notes all around the kitchen reminding Hunter to clean up after himself, meaning no dishes in the sink, and then he'd head off to work and come home and cook them something. They would eat in front of the TV talk a little before heading to their own rooms. On weekends, Harry made a point of always trying to do something with Hunter, especially as school started in two weeks and he knew he would be really busy soon. Second-year of high school was no joke apparently, Harry was already getting emails of school events and ways to support the mighty Lions that year.

That weekend, Harry had to go to a district meeting with some other parents to discuss any concerns or wishes before the school year began. He had already forgotten about it on Thursday, exhausted from a full week of work. He got the email late at night that Friday, cursing when he remembered. He wanted to be more involved, but surely there were other ways than going to a meeting six at night on a Saturday.

Harry slept in the next morning, getting a late start to his day, but a much needed one. He made himself and Hunter a late breakfast and an early dinner. Much to Hunter’s delight, he wouldn’t be spending the day, or weekend for that matter, doing things with his dear old dad.

At a quarter to six, Harry gave Hunter a goodbye hug and a tired smile, ignoring how giddy his son was.

“Alright,” he sighed, “don’t miss me too much, and don’t go in the kitchen for something other than a drink, you've already eaten.”

Hunter rolled his eyes, “I burnt pizza rolls once and you won’t let me live it down.”

“Well, you almost burned down the whole apartment! Of course I’m not going to let you live it down.” Harry said. “You should be happy the landlord was so nice about it. We could have gotten kicked out.”

“ _Whatever_. Bye, dad,” Hunter said, waving him off.

“Bye, love you. I shouldn’t be gone long, don’t make too much noise.” Harry said, and then he was off to Piemouth’s local high school.

It was the only public high school in the district. There was a private Catholic one, but it was reserved for the richer class of Piemouth and the kids of neighboring towns. Harry had never stepped foot in it, he went to the local elementary school just down the road. He and his siblings walked to school those few short years they lived here, even in the winter.

The high school was a quick five minute drive from the house. The parent-district meeting was apparently being held in a mini auditorium in the school. Harry showed the man his ID at the door and was ushered inside.

The halls were quiet, the only sound that could be heard was Harry’s footsteps. There were signs and arrows hung up everywhere of he should be headed. Harry followed them and took in his surroundings, he wanted to be familiar with the place his son was going to be attending for the next two years. After wandering around for a while, he made it with five minutes to spare. 

The little auditorium wasn’t as packed as he thought it would have been. At the front, were the school district representatives, sitting behind a long table in stuffy suits and pencil skirts. There were five rows of chairs right in front of the table, the parents were all spread out, some even conversing with each other. At the back, there was another long table filled with PTA type food. Donuts, cookies, orange juice filled cups and other little snacks.

Someone else came in behind Harry with a tupperware filled with brownies. Harry panicked a little, he didn’t know he had to bring food to this thing. It never said it in the email.

A cheery looking Helen waved to him and motioned him over with two flicks of her wrist as if he was a dog. Just before Harry begrudgingly walked over, a little bell had been sounded by someone at the front.

“Alright! We can now begin!” Someone said.

Harry took his seat at the back and stayed quiet. 

A lot of parents in the room were moms of high schoolers, some were with kids that went to the elementary school, and a few from the middle school. If any dads were there, it was more likely they were forced to by their wives, judging by the look of absolute boredom on some of their faces. Harry wasn’t the only single parent — there were a few scattered around here and there, which put him at ease.

The meeting went by fairly slowly and quickly at the same time. The district people announced some things, some parents complained about said things and other things. Other parents praised the district and some gave them very detailed plans on events they wanted the schools to have this year.

This was where Helen shined and immediately got hostile as the district reps felt having a debutante ball was a little outdated and would cause a little controversy. She tried to reason with them by bringing up all of the signatures she got from other parents, but was shot down again and again until they compromised on a small dance just to shut her up. Harry had to give her props for sticking to her guns and not backing down.

Harry stayed quiet through it all. He had no grievances to share or any plans of any sort, and he started to feel like coming had been a bit of a waste.

After everything had been said and no real plans had been made, the meeting was over. He was going to make a beeline for the door, but Helen caught him and started to introduce him to all her PTA mom friends. He just barely escaped their perfectly manicured claws and oddly specific and invasive questions without a scratch. He headed over to the snack table and loaded up on everything. Not to be greedy, but to take some home to Hunter. Also maybe to be a little bit greedy, but that wouldn’t hurt anyone, would it?

Harry grabbed a poorly decorated sugar cookie and took a bite, immediately grabbing a napkin and discreetly spitting it back out. He took a gulp of his orange juice to get the burnt taste out of his mouth when someone cleared their throat behind him. Afraid of offending the person who made these, Harry hid the napkin in his back pocket and turned around with a smile more akin to a grimace.

He expected to see a PTA mom or a disgruntled looking Helen but, instead, it was a man. He had a beanie on his head and sparkly socks that he’d gotten the bottom hem of his sweatpants tucked into.

“Oh,” Harry said, “hi.”

The man smiled, nodding to the cookies behind Harry. “How did you like them? Made it myself.”

Harry turned to look at the cookies for a second before looking back at the amused man. “It… they were delicious.”

He nodded, reaching past Harry to grab one and split it down the middle. “Well, then surely you need another one, right?” He handed one to Harry and kept the other side for himself.

Harry glanced at the cookie before looking at the man.

They took a bite at the same time, and Harry couldn’t stop the look of disgust that crossed his face. The man had a similar look on his face and grabbed them both a napkin so they could spit into it.

“God I— I’m sorry, but those cookies are a biohazard,” Harry said.

The man laughed, “I don’t know what happened! I didn’t think I left them in the oven for too long, and I let Avery decorate them to make them look better, but I think she used real glitter.”

Harry laughed, “Well, looks like we’re going to be shitting glitter for the next five years.”

“Hey, I’m used to it. The amount of glitter that girl goes through…” He fake shuddered, “I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. And this is my little Avery.” Louis held up his phone and showed Harry his lock screen. It was a picture of him and his daughter at what appeared to be Christmas, big smiles at the camera, and hideous Christmas sweaters. She appeared to be around five or six years old, and the picture didn’t seem to be old, so it was probably from last Christmas.

Harry smiled, “I’m Harry Styles, my son's name is Hunter. I would show you a picture, but he literally won’t let me ever take a picture of him. I only have little sneaky ones when he’s not paying attention or he’s sleeping.”

Louis chuckled, nodding his head. “Avery is going through this phase where she wants to take pictures of everything. I got her a little film camera that she can use and get the pictures instantly, but she only wants to use my phone. I can’t wait until she’s older and is dodging me left and right for photos.”

Harry shook his head, “Nope, nope, don’t ever wish for them to get older. Hold onto them as long as you can. My Hunter is fifteen—”

“Fifteen?” Louis cut him off with an exaggerated whistle, “I can’t imagine Avery at fifteen.”

“Yeah, it’s strange. Sometimes, it feels like he was just three yesterday and we were just cuddling on the couch while he sucked on his thumb. I even miss his terrible twos sometimes.” Harry admitted.

Louis groaned, “No no no, I never could miss those. It was hell every day with Avery, and I thought I was a loud kid. She blew me out of the water, and still does now.”

Harry shrugged, popping a brownie in his mouth and chewing fast. “I’m telling you. When they get older, you find yourself missing the strangest things. Potty training, the first day of school tantrum, teething, etcetera.”

“Eh, I’d take teething over potty training. That was a very messy and horrible time. I think what I’ll miss the most is the closeness, you know? Even right now, she’s starting to become a little embarrassed by me.” Louis paused to take a sip of his orange juice. “But she’s always been independent and set in her ways. She’s just like her mom in that way.”

Harry nodded, “Hunter is the same. Growing up he was clingy, I will say that. He never wanted to be away from me, and as soon as he hit middle school, _bam_! Hugging his dad in public was just too embarrassing for him.”

It goes silent for sometime after that, and Harry didn’t notice just how empty the auditorium was. Their voices filling in the silence. There were a few pocket groups of parents talking, but they were all getting ready to leave. Harry realized he should do the same and, by the look on Louis’ face, he got the same idea.

They left together without saying anything, and it wasn’t as uncomfortable as it probably should’ve been. When they got outside, Harry shuddered under the cool breeze, glad that he'd cut his hair down some so it wasn’t flying around all over his face.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, Harry,” Louis said.

“It was nice meeting you too, Louis.” And Harry really meant it — it was nice to talk to someone.

Louis looked down at his feet before looking back at Harry, laughing slightly. “This may seem a bit forward, but would you like my number?”

Harry chuckled, heat rising to his cheeks. “No, no, it’s… That’s fine, that's not too forward at all.” Harry typed Louis’ number into his phone and sent him a quick hello text so Louis could have his.

“Got it,” Louis said, big smile on his face. 

Harry watched as he typed something on his phone, and then Harry’s phone went off with a text message from Louis.

It read, _‘hello :)’._ Harry smiled as he read it, holding his phone up to show Louis he get his text.

They waved goodbye, Harry quickly getting into his car to escape the cold and turning on the heat with a content sigh. He watched as Louis got into his own car and left the parking lot. Harry took a moment just to sit in silence for a little while.

It hit him later on, when he was home, watching a late-night movie with Hunter, that he may have made his first friend in town. Maybe ever.

Hunter asked him just before he went off to bed how the meeting was.

Harry sighed, “Well, to be honest, it was useless and boring and pointless, and every negative thing you can think of.”

Hunter grinned, the spitting image of Harry. “I’m sensing a _‘but’_ coming on?”

“But,” Harry exaggerated, “I did possibly meet a friend there. Not really a friend, we just bonded over our weird kids.”

“ _Hey_ , weird is good.” Hunter moped.

Harry nodded, “Weird is good.”

+

The morning of Hunter’s first day of school was rough. 

Harry set his alarm for seven in the morning, but they didn’t even get up until eight. He was going to make Hunter breakfast, but that idea was quickly shot down as Harry rushed Hunter from the bathroom to his bedroom.

He always had a habit of sleeping through alarms, but he didn’t think he would sleep through the loud noise he set just the previous night. He even made sure he turned his volume all the way up and that the speakers were facing his ear. Obviously, that did fuck all, and he was driving a tired looking Hunter to school in playboy bunny pajama pants he found at a thrift shop years ago when he and Gemma still talked regularly and a purple bathrobe he stole from his mom many years ago.

Realization dawned on him as he remembered he forgot to pack Hunter’s lunch the previous night. “Fuck!” He yelled at no one, pulling into the school and stopping Hunter from getting out of the car. He handed him a twenty with a smile. “I forgot to pack your lunch. If they let you leave for lunch, I’m giving you permission to go somewhere and eat, okay? Love you.”

Hunter nodded and grabbed the money, quickly giving Harry a side hug before leaving. Harry watched as he walked away, turning around and giving him a little wave before disappearing into the building.

Harry groaned, closing his eyes for a moment before pulling out of the parking lot. He knew that Hunter didn’t really give a damn about having breakfast on his first day or Harry packing him lunch and that, nine times out of ten, he was just going to save the money and go into the library during that period, but Harry really wanted his first day to be special.

Hunter’s very first day of school went similarly. Harry had woken up late and completely missed what his kindergarten called, at the time, ‘bye-bye’ time. It took place thirty minutes before class started and was supposed to get the kids acclimated to the new classroom and other children. He had spent ten minutes outside of where the teacher was introducing herself trying to get a crying Hunter to calm down. In the end, Harry sent him in with big fat tears rolling down his face.

It got easier over time. Hunter wouldn’t cry as much, but he still would cling to Harry’s legs until it was time for class to start, and every day he’d come running out and into Harry’s arms. Harry thought it had never gotten easy to see his little boy just leave and he knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop the tears that fell as he sat in the driveway.

At that moment, he wished he had someone to talk to. Harry contemplated calling his mom, picking up his phone and typing in her number, when he got a text from Louis.

He opened it and laughed when he saw what he'd been sent. It was a photo of a pouty Louis holding the hand of his daughter as they walked into the elementary school. He captioned the photo with, ‘ _always the hardest part, trying to hold in tears while she’s trying to run away to talk to her friends :(‘_

Harry sniffled, taking a photo of himself in his purple fuzzy robe with a blotchy face and tear streaks and captioned it as ‘ _been doing this for years now and yet I still cry lolll :D’_

Louis didn’t text back, but Harry could see that he'd read his message. A few minutes later, he was calling him, and Harry picked up with earnestness.

“I can’t believe that I’m literally crying right now. I’ve been doing this for literal years.” Harry said, wiping his tears.

Louis laughed breathlessly, “I know that feeling, I literally had to sprint back to my car and have a little moment. The first graders stand outside with their class for a few minutes, and the other grades as well, but like they’re all so small and they wave to us. And she’s waving at me with this big smile on her face, and then it disappears for a second and I can see that she’s about to cry, right?”

“Right, right,” Harry replied.

“So, in my head I’m like, _fuck it_ , _I’m taking her home we’ll try again tomorrow maybe_ , and this other little girl pulled her into a hug and I took a picture, but it was the cutest thing ever, Harry.”

Harry laughed, closing his eyes and trying to picture it. He smiled, “Yeah, today I woke up late. I wanted to make Hunter breakfast for his first day, but that didn’t work. So, I rushed him to school, had to give him money for lunch because I forgot his lunch and, oh, my God, as I’m telling you this, I feel like such a shit parent!”

“No, no, no!” Louis exclaimed, “You are not a shit parent at all. It happens to even the best of us, I promise you that. I’ve woken up late taking Avery to things before. One time I'd even forgotten to take her to a birthday party.”

“Oh, wow.”

“ _Yeah_ , I know. I had it in my calendar and everything, but listen.” Louis said, “You are not a bad person at all, nor a bad parent. We all have our rough days—”

Harry huffed, “Yeah, but I’ve been having a rough day for more than fifteen years now.” He didn’t mean to get all self-deprecating but, God, he couldn’t help it. He always thought about the mistakes he’d made as a parent, all the things he missed out on, all the times he yelled when he didn’t want to ever raise his voice, having to utilize daycare when Hunter wasn’t fully prepared for it, and so much more. It all weighed on him at times when he was feeling his lowest.

It was quiet over the other end for a minute before Louis sighed. “ _Harry_ ,” he stressed. “I know I’ve just met you and everything literally a few weeks ago, but I am one hundred percent sure you aren’t a shitty parent. I’ve forgotten Avery’s lunches tons of times, and I’ve been late picking her up from school, too. It happens, it’s called being a parent, being human. We all make mistakes as parents and guardians, all we can do is let them know that it’s not on purpose and that we’re trying our best.”

Harry sniffled, resting his head against the steering wheel. “Thank you, I’m sorry for, throwing this all on you. I mean—”

“It’s alright! I promise,” Louis asserted.

“We barely even know each other and I’m like _‘ahhh I’m such a shit parent’_ ,” Harry said, pulling the phone away to blow his nose in a discarded napkin. “But, yeah, I wasn’t even crying because of that. I was crying because he’s my little baby and he’s growing up too fast.”

“I know, I know. I already told you about my morning, but it’s always strange knowing that, in a few years, you're going to have an empty nest, and then retirement.” He groaned.

Harry snorted, “Christ, I’m not that old yet. I’m only thirty-four.”

“ _Wow_ ,” Louis gasped. “I thought you were older than me—”

“Why?! I don’t look old, right?” Harry sat up and peered in his front mirror. Sure, he had some wrinkles and a few grey hairs here and there, but he didn’t look _that_ old. He actually thought he looked the same as he did when he was twenty-six, just with more greys and laugh lines. If anything, his skin looked great, but that’s only because he made a mistake and forgot to cancel some skincare thing he signed up for months ago and it took thirty dollars out of his account every month. So, he used the products when he remembered too

“Yeah, yeah! I mean, _no_ , you don’t! It’s just cause Hunter is fifteen, I thought _‘oh, he must be at least forty-one’_.” Louis explained. Harry made a face, looking at his reflection harder. 

“Oh, my…”

“ _Sorry!_ I swear you don’t look old! You look like you’re in your twenties!”

Harry pursed his lips, softly biting his tongue and shaking his head. “I had Hunter when I was young, I was nineteen.” Harry let that simmer for a bit before saying, “I can’t believe you thought I was in my forties! How old are you?”

“I’m thirty-six, and honestly you don’t look a day over twenty-five.”

“You’re older than me?!” Harry scoffed, “Louis, I literally can't believe you.”

“God,” Louis groaned. “You’re never going to let me forget this, will you? It’s going to haunt our friendship forever.”

Harry smiled at that, at Louis essentially calling him a friend. They talked for a little while longer until Louis had to head off to work, and it was nearing lunchtime and Harry started to get a little hungry.

Somewhere between lunch and Harry’s one in the afternoon nap, Louis called again and they talked for a while before he headed off to get Avery. Apparently, the first graders didn’t stay the full day on Mondays and Fridays.

Ten minutes before Hunter was out of school, Harry quickly headed to a gas station to get gas and to pick up Hunter’s favorite snacks as an apology for that morning and as a treat for his first day.

If Harry had it his way, he would stand outside of the car and wait for him with open arms, but he decided to keep it cool and wait in the car, pulling Hunter into a hug as soon as he got in.

“Hey, love. How was your first day?” Harry asked, giving him his snacks and pulling out of the parking lot as quickly as he could before he got stuck behind newly licensed teenagers.

Hunter shrugged, grabbing a handful of gummy bears and stuffing them into his mouth. “It wa’ ahh ‘ight.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Hunter, please. The last time you did that you threw up,” Harry reached over and shook the little pieces of paper that were in his wavy hair. Harry briefly remembered when he was a baby, and he would wash his hair and stick it up straight like he was in _The Little Rascals_. He knew he had a picture of it somewhere.

“Umm,” Hunter sighed. “It was fine. I actually sat in the lunchroom with some people and—”

“ _Really_! Who?” Harry didn’t want to seem too excited, but since Hunter entered high school he separated from his middle school friends and became a loner. He always dodged the question when Harry asked what happened, why they didn’t talk anymore, and Harry decided to never bring it up again after he and Hunter got into an argument that ended in tears.

Hunter shrugged again, giving Harry a look. “It’s not that serious, _jeez_. I met them on this online game, and before you ask you don’t know it, so we met up outside of lunch and sat together. It was cool or whatever, but I think I’m going to stay in the library. I mells bad and I just like being in the library.”

“Well, that’s nice,” Harry replied, trying to stop the giddy smile on his face as his heart swelled with pride. “Maybe if you asked they would join you. What?”

Hunter was giving him another look, his big brown eyes boring into Harry’s. He knew Hunter was getting annoyed with him. “Dad, I like being by myself.” He said, “I swear, I don’t know why you think the whole school hates me or something.”

“I don’t!”

“You do! You think, I don’t know,” He waved his hands around. “I want friends so badly or something or that I don't have any when I do. They’re just online,”

Harry sighed parking in the driveway. “I only want you to be happy, and tell me if there’s anything wrong. You know I didn’t grow up in the… _happiest_ of families, and I don’t want you to feel… fuck. What I’m trying to say is that I want you to be happy and, if not having friends makes you happy, then I’m fine.”

Hunter nodded, looking down at his hands before looking back up at Harry. He smiled, “You won’t be but okay. Dad, I am happy, I promise. If something was wrong, I swear I would tell you. And I do have friends who’re just online. Honestly, this school seemed better than the last one, everything is all brand new. They got a lot of funding over the summer and did a bunch of shit. Sorry.”

Harry decided to drop it, they’d had this conversation a million times before and it didn’t end right each time. He just had to be content with Hunter’s happiness, because as stubborn as Harry was, Hunter was ten times worse. It was the little things that he’d inherited from Harry that made him happy and annoyed at the same time. 

The rest of the week went by a lot smoother. On Friday, Harry actually got up early and made Hunter the breakfast he kept promising, sending him off to school with a quick kiss on the cheek and a scowl on his face.

Harry headed straight home to take a nap. He should’ve emailed his boss about his work schedule for the next month, but having a nap sounded a lot better. Somewhere between his sleep-induced haze, he got a text from Louis that had him shooting out of bed startled. He forgot just how loud he’d turned his volume up while Hunter was in school. He had a habit of missing phone calls on account of him never having his volume on. If he could go back to have a flip phone, he would — it was so much simpler.

Harry picked up his phone and looked down at the text through bleary eyes. Usually, he would ignore it if wasn’t Hunter, but he felt like it would be rude to do that to Louis. 

It read, _‘Is it weird as an adult with a kid to take naps throughout the day?’_

Harry smiled, giving it a quick thought before sending back ‘ _no’_ and that he did it all the time when he could. Louis sent another text but, before Harry could read it, Louis was already calling him. 

“I’ve never been more tired in my life,” Louis grumbled, sounding like he’d just woken up. Harry could hear cartoons playing in the background.

“Ugh, I know exactly how you feel. I took off this week to focus on Hunter and give him all of my attention, but I’m still so tired.” The soft pitter-patter of rain falling against the window lulled him. He laid his head back down on the couch pillow, taking in deep breaths. He knew, if he fell asleep he wouldn’t be up in time for Hunter. So, as much as he wanted to nap, Harry blinked it away as best he could.

“I didn’t call off this week because I forgot to put a notice in,” Louis started, “so I’ve been working and trying to find ways to entertain Avery when she's home for an hour during my lunch break before I have to send her to her grandparents and head back in until eight. Honestly, I feel like one of those sloth things. Right now, they’re her favorite animal because they remind her of me.”

“Aww,” Harry cooed. “That’s so cute. I try and do things with Hunter on the weekend and let him do his own thing during the week.” He yawned, “Sorry, but, yeah. I gave up on Hunter and now we just watch movies or I let him hook up his game to the TV in the living room and try to let him teach me to play.” More than anything, it frustrated them both and Harry usually ended up just watching him play and falling asleep to the sounds of him sword fighting enemies. 

“Ahh, he’s a gamer, then?” Louis asked. “Is that what they’re calling it now, video gamer?”

Harry snorted, “Yeah, he’s a little gamer. He mostly plays umm, I think they’re role-playing games? Honestly, I don’t know, I hear him talking to his friends about that and I’m just like _‘hey, as long as he isn’t roaming the streets looking for trouble, do you, kid.’_ ”

“Hey, that’s how it is sometimes. So, what do you do for fun?”

Harry frowned, “I don’t really do shit, to be honest.” 

Now that he was thinking about it, Harry hadn’t really done anything for fun. He had a fun free childhood, and right on the cusp of adulthood, along came Hunter and he threw himself into being the best parent he possibly could. He didn’t even know what his interests were, growing up he did like reading about dinosaurs for a brief period but, as an adult, he couldn’t give two shits about that now.

Louis hummed, “Well uh, when I was young, back in my golden years as I like to call it, I used to get into just about anything I could find. Even as young as fifteen, I would sneak out to go to parties or just to hang around with my friends and pass around some shitty beer one of us stole from the fridge.”

Harry smiled at the thought. “I could never do that,” he said. He wanted to offer more to that, but then it would be opening up a can of worms that didn’t seem really appropriate for this conversation. So, he left it at that and was thankful when Louis didn’t push for more.

“You had strict parents?” Louis asked.

Harry shrugged. “Um, kinda. We were latch key kids, but my dad was strict with us. Really uh, strict.”

Louis nodded. “That’s good, actually, if I could go back, I would tell my younger self to knock it off. My mom was the same way, always told us to get outside and find something to do. I was a little asshole for no reason, it was ridiculous, but, yeah. I do little things with Avery here and there sometimes, but she mostly wants to do her own thing now. Uncle Louis is no longer fun anymore,”

“Oh,” Harry said, he didn’t realize that Avery wasn’t Louis', but the way he talked about her Harry just assumed. “I didn’t know that Avery wasn’t like, that she wasn’t your daughter.”

“ _Oh_! Oh, no. She’s my umm, actually my sister’s but,” Louis sighed, “it’s a whole thing but, yeah, she’s my niece. I think of her as mine, though, and I talk about her like she is, so I can see how you thought that. She had been mine since she turned two. Just a bunch of family drama.”

Harry snorted, he knew a thing or two about family drama. “Yeah, I know all about that, trust me.”

It went quiet for some time like one of them wanted to push for more, but Harry wouldn’t take the bait, and he liked to think that Louis was respectful enough to not ask for more than that. So, they moved on and started to talk about their work, the kids, and the holidays coming up. 

Avery’s birthday was around Halloween time, and she apparently wanted to have a costume party at her grandparent’s house and then a sleepover at Louis’. Louis was a little apprehensive about having so many children over and being about to entertain them all.

“I know all the parents and kids she wants to invite, but it’s still a lot to have other people's children over your house and being responsible for them. You know what I mean?”

Harry nodded, “Yeah I know what you mean. Hunter had only been to one sleepover in his life and he called me to pick him up an hour later because he didn’t want to sleep without me. But I know what you mean about having to be responsible for other people's kids and how scary that can be.”

“Right!” Louis exclaimed, “Avery has been to so many sleepovers it’s insane. I didn’t realize just how popular a six-year-old could be; plus, my house isn’t big or anything, or decorated _that_ nicely either.”

“I…” Harry paused for a second to think of what to say, “I don’t think a bunch of six and seven-year-olds are gonna really care? You can decorate for her birthday with a banner and balloons and little things. Maybe get cupcakes and ice cream, ask Avery what activities she wants to do with them? I don’t know, I’ve never planned a sleepover.”

“No, no,” Louis said, “those are good ideas actually, and you’re lucky, you know. I’ve never been more stressed about something in my entire life.”

Harry wished that Hunter had been more of an outgoing kid and would have wanted Harry to throw him the best sleepover he could for his birthday. But he was content with just going out to eat and getting to pick the restaurant and any present he wanted at the store. 

They talked some more about the sleepover before Louis had to go, and at that point, Harry was no longer tired anymore. He scrolled around on his phone for a few minutes, turned on the TV to watch whatever judge show was on, turned the channel to a cooking show when the news came on, and then left to get Hunter a few hours later.

The rest of the week went the same way. Even when Louis had work or Harry was doing something around the house, they always called each other to chat for a little while before one of them had to go. It was a little strange to Harry, he’d never had any friends he could talk to all the time. He had friends when he was a kid, but those were church friends and not actual _friend_ friends he felt comfortable enough with to tell them anything without fearing they would tell their parents and then word would get back to his dad. 

So, when he and Louis talked or texted almost every day for two weeks straight about everything and nothing at the same time, it should’ve surprised him when Louis asked him out for brunch next week on a day where neither of them had work and during a time where the kids were at school and it wasn’t too rainy or cold. Louis picked a little café that wasn’t there back when Harry was younger and then it was settled: for the first time in Harry’s adult life, he was going out to brunch with a friend.

+

The day of their brunch outing had Harry’s stomach in knots and he didn’t know why. He glanced up at the café so he could get the directions, and checked about ten times over that he had the right place and wouldn’t get lost. 

He started picking apart his appearance the minutes leading up to when he had to leave, contemplated cutting all his hair off and then cutting the little stubble he was sporting down till he was clean-shaven but then it would take him another five months to grow it back to this length and he quite liked not being clean-shaven even if it made him look younger.

On top of that, he ransacked his closet and determined, an hour before he had to leave, that he had nothing to wear and then calmed down a little when he realized this was just Louis. And then, threw himself in a panic _again_ because this was his first brunch as an adult with a friend and he didn’t want to fuck it up.

Harry left the house ten minutes before he was supposed to get there and had to physically make himself calm down or he was going to be a sweaty mess before he got there.

As he parked and waited for Louis at the entrance, he looked around and came to the conclusion, again, that a lot had changed around here since he’d last been here. There were still the same old stores but, in between those were new ones that attracted a larger amount of people. It was still a small town, but it didn’t feel the same, it didn’t have the same weight as it had when he was younger, and he knew he thought about the changes a lot but he couldn’t help it.

Before Harry could think some more, Louis showed up a minute late wearing jeans and a sweater, which meant Harry wasn’t severely underdressed in his blue jeans, a random t-shirt he was pretty sure was Hunter’s, and a grey blazer he was sure he'd had since he was eighteen and lost worn when he graduated high school.

“Hey!” Louis said as he stopped in front of Harry, “I hope I‘m not too late, I didn’t think you would know how to find this place and panicked when I realized I forgot to give you the address.” 

Harry shrugged, “I googled it.” He smiled when Louis laughed, and they went and sat outside at a random empty table.

A lot of the tables around them were occupied, and Harry usually would feel flustered being around so many people he didn’t know but, strangely, he felt alright, as a calm had washed over him. 

Louis pressed a little button on the table, “It’s so a waiter can come over and take our order. I know, fancy and ridiculous, right?”

Harry nodded, “Everything is just so different; all these new stores and coffee shops, with their new technology and whatnot.”

Louis snorted, “Calm down, old man.”

“ _Old man_? You’re literally older than me, but okay.” Harry couldn’t help the little laugh that he let out, covering his mouth with his hand to tamper it down.

“So,” Louis started, “Have you always lived here? I feel like I would have remembered a person like you at school.”

Harry shook his head, flattered at the thought. “No, I just moved back here a few months ago, not that long, actually. I used to live here when I was a kid, my family moved around a lot,” He quickly skirted past that. “And, if anything, I was pretty easy to miss. I was very quiet and kept to myself.”

Louis shook his head, saying firmly. “No, I would have remembered someone like you. It must have been because we were in two different grades.”

It stumped Harry for a second. If he thought back to his time in Piemouth, nothing of significance really came up, no familiar faces or anything. He remembered the brief feeling of safety he felt, how sparse his dad’s anger was towards them, but also all the damage he left in his wake here.

Harry opted to not say anything and was relieved when a waitress came by and took their orders. He let Louis order for him, a grilled cheese that was apparently _‘to die for’_ and one of the best he’d ever had and a tall glass of their homemade lemonade. Louis ordered the same, and she left just as soon as she came, and then it was back to just the two of them.

Louis crossed his arms and smiled at him. “So, how has your week been going?”

“Honestly, work is just work. I moved here for a better opportunity for Hunter and I, before this we lived in Michigan and honestly, I sorta missed being here even if I only remember a little bit from when I was younger.”

“Oh really?” Louis nodded in interest, lips pursed. “How was Michigan? I’ve never been there before, I’ve only been to South Carolina by plane to get to Myrtle Beach when I was thirteen. Oh, and Ohio when I was four for my cousin’s birth, although, I of course don’t remember that trip.”

Harry shrugged. “It was alright. Got really cold in the winter, though.” 

There wasn’t really much to say about his time in Michigan, he just picked a place that was as far as possible to where his whole family was where he could raise Hunter without their input. It felt good, moving there and establishing a life outside of his mom and dad. It allowed him to mellow out and move on, to be a good dad for his son.

He didn’t like to think about the first few years of Hunter being alive, the way his son saw him walking on eggshells around his parent’s house, the yelling when he would cry, the constant talk about being a real man. He was relieved he got out while he still could, and Michigan would always be a safe haven for them. He was just glad Hunter remembered none of his life before Michigan. He wished he could say the same.

“Well, I for one am glad that you came back to good ole’ Piemouth. And you know what?” He paused for a second as the waitress brought their drinks, letting them know their food would be out in a second. “Thank you.” He said to her before turning back to him, “I wasn’t even going to go to that district meeting with all the parents, but I thought I would look like a bad guardian if I didn’t go. I was going to slip out five minutes after it ended, but then I saw you looking at my cookies and I thought _‘I can’t let this poor older man poison himself’_ so, I stayed.”

Harry nearly choked as he sipped his lemonade, giving Louis a look. “I am not, you’re older than me! You said I don’t look a day over twenty-three.”

Louis quickly shook his head, smiling playfully. “No, I said a day over _twenty-five,_ don’t flatter yourself too much.”

Harry scoffed playfully, smirking behind the rim of his glass. “So you’re just full of the same old jokes huh? Is this just going to be a running theme? You making fun of me for my age, even though you’re older than me? I thought I was the one who was supposed to be making fun of you for thinking I was older?”

Louis shrugged. “Well, as the oldest, I have to have the upper hand somehow, so now I’ve turned it around.” He snapped his fingers. “Just like that, and there is nothing you have on me that you could make fun of.”

Harry hummed, trying to think of something but coming up blank. So he settled for, “ _Yet_. I don’t have something on you yet.” while raising an eyebrow.

Before Louis could come up with a quip, their food was being placed in front of them as well as the check. Neither of them reached for it, and Harry hoped this wasn’t one of those expensive cafes that thought a little too highly of itself and made one sandwich for ten dollars. Although, it looked exactly like one of those places.

They dug in. Harry complimented Louis on his taste in food selection, because damn that was probably the best-grilled cheese he’d ever had, and the fries and lemonade weren’t too bad either. Harry realized that he had no reason to be so anxious about the brunch. It felt as if he was catching up with an old friend he hadn’t seen in some time. He wasn’t prepared for this new friendship with Louis at all, but he was grateful for it, and he was happy that, as an adult, he had jumped through that hurdle.

The silence was broken by Louis coughing into his arm, giving him a warm smile. “So, how is Hunter doing at James Woods?”

Harry blanked for a second before he remembered that that was the name of the local high school. “Oh, good, I think? He doesn’t really talk about it all that much. He said it was better than his old school, but I don’t know.”

“When I went there, it wasn’t nearly as new and shiny as it is today. We couldn’t even go out for lunch because they banned it towards the end of my tenth-grade year because half the school would leave and just go home.” Louis said, sipping on his lemonade.

Harry huffed. “You’re joking.”

“Nope,” Louis shook his head laughing. “Literally just leave and either go to the park to smoke or go home and sleep the rest of the day.”

“And I’m guessing you were one of the kids going home to sleep.”

“You know it!” Louis smiled fondly, “Or I went to smoke at Cedar Park near the back streets ‘cause Mathew Park was too out in the open and three of my friends got busted there.”

Harry liked the way Louis talked about growing up, how humble he sounded and how fond he looked thinking about those memories. It made Harry want to come up with his own happy memories of being a mischievous kid, of sneaking out with friends to go smoke at the park or skipping school during lunch period to go nap the rest of the day away, getting busted and having to face your parent’s wrath.

He thought about Dylan and Gemma, how often he watched them sneak out at night to go sleep at their friends’ houses to get away from the constant stress of being at home. He snapped out of it when Louis called his name, a confused look on his face.

“You okay?” He asked, placing his hand on the table, ready to reach over and touch Harry’s hand, that sat a few inches away.

Harry slowly moved his hand away and gave Louis a reassuring look, nodding. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just got lost in my head a bit.”

Louis smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and it was filled with sympathy that Harry didn’t want to take or acknowledge. “Happens to the best of us, I understand. I zone out all the time at work, especially at meetings.”

“Yeah, same.” Once again he was thankful for the change in topic. “I just sit behind a desk in my little cubicle answering emails, punching in numbers, greeting people on the phone. I have the most boring job.” Harry waved his hand, crossing his arms. “Alright, enough about boring work. How is the sleepover planning going?”

That got Louis really animated and happy, the traces of confusion and concern that were prominent on his face seemed to melt away as he talked more and more about Avery. Harry interjected here and there with ideas and had to put a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing when Louis got so animated with his hands that he almost hit someone.

As the day got on, the people who were originally sat by had all left and were replaced by both older and younger people alike. It was then they decided to split the check and walk around a little before they had to go their separate ways.

Louis took them to an ice cream shop Harry vividly remembered going to before. Louis paid for their ice cream, much to Harry’s chagrin. They sat on a random clean bench and talked some more about whatever came to mind. Harry, in passing, mentioned that he had a brother and sister, which got Louis to start talking about the fact that he had seven sisters and one brother.

“Holy shit,” Harry breathed. “I can’t imagine what it was like growing up with that many siblings. Gemma and Dylan are both older than me, but having two siblings is just enough for me.”

Louis snorted. “Let’s just say there was never a moment of quiet. Honestly, I liked it though, and so did my mom. I only have one older sister,” he paused for a second, frowning. “Éliane,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “She’s Avery’s mom.”

Harry could tell by how quiet he was, the way the octave in his voice changed and how he slumped like he was defeated that this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about. He wondered if that was how he appeared to Louis all the time — defeated.

As much as Harry hated talking about his family, his past and basically anything that revealed parts of himself to someone, he hated the downtrodden look on Louis' face. So, he just talked. “We all look like my mom, and uhh, honestly, I always wondered what it was like to grow up with younger siblings. How it would feel.”

Louis started to smile, “It does feel great and awful at the same time. Great because you’ve got seven people that look up to you. Awful because _you’ve got seven people looking up to you_ , seven pairs of eyes watching. To be fair, it’s just a balance of trying to get a decent night of sleep and trying not to feel like it’s your job to be a parent. It can be a lot, being older and having to be the third parent when you never asked for it.”

Harry never put himself in Gemma and Dylan’s shoes, but for a moment he felt guilty for the pressure he knew he put on them to protect him when they were trying to look out for themselves too. He pursed his lips, eating the rest of his ice cream so it wouldn’t drip down and turn into a puddle in his lap.

Louis sighed. “I used to think I would want around seven kids myself, but I grew up and realized how stressful that would be.”

Harry smirked. “I think I could imagine you with ten kids. Like a little soccer team.”

“A soccer team has eleven people,” He snorted. “But, yeah. My own little soccer team.” He stared at Harry with something unreadable in his eyes and Harry had to look away to stop his heart from beating faster and faster.

“Hunter is enough for me, I’m afraid. Even though I do love babies.” Harry shrugged. “I don’t think I’ll ever meet someone who I’ll want to have more kids with at my age.”

Louis laughed, “See, now you’re making yourself sound old. Why though? You’re in you’re early thirties, you look great—”

Harry blushed, shaking his head. “It’s nothing I don’t know. I just haven’t found that person that I would want to do that with. Having a kid at nineteen was hard, it took a lot out of me to be honest.”

Louis nodded along, crossing his arms. “I understand. My mom had me when she was young too. So I know how hard it can be for young single parents to get out there. And I know I haven’t known you that long but I’m being honest when I say you’re a catch. Some lucky young woman your age would an idiot not to snatch you up.”

Harry coughed into his arm, clearing his throat. “Wow, that’s… thank you, Louis.”

He waved his hand. “I wasn’t doing it for any other reason other than I want to see your genes work they’re magic. I bet Hunter is the splitting imagine of you.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows.

Harry nearly choked on his spit. “Christ, well he is. His hair isn’t as curly but it is wavy as all hell. He use to have such big hair when he was younger it was insane.”

They talked a little bit more before parting ways. Louis had to go pick up Avery early for a doctor’s appointment he assured he didn’t push back or miss to have brunch with Harry. Louis goes in for a hug much to Harry’s surprise. They do end up hugging, after Harry’s initial hesitance. Louis walked him all the way to his car, turning after he’s made sure Harry’s in his car. 

“Text me when you get home safe!” He said, walking down the street. 

No one has ever asked Harry that before.

He climbed in with a frown, looking at the time and realizing he only had two hours before Hunter was out of school. Harry decided to drive around the town for a little while, trying to let himself remember all the little places he drove past when he was younger and smiling when he saw the old vet’s office next to a little bank. 

Just a little way down from the bank, there was a pet shop, and for a split second, Harry got an impulse to go in and buy a cat. He always wanted a pet growing up, but he never pushed for one and promised himself when he was older he would become a veterinarian. Obviously, that didn’t work out, but now that he was older, he was an adult for god sakes, he could literally just go in and get a cat if he wanted. There was no one to stop him or to yell at him or anything. 

Harry parked the car right in front of the shop, heading inside before he could psyche himself out of it, and headed for the cat section. He passed by some birds and puppies near the front, where a store worker greeted him and asked him if he was looking for anything specific. Harry told her no and went to where the cat cages were.

There were a few other people looking around and Harry had to stop himself from cooing at all the cats in front of them. He stopped in front of a green-eyed tabby cat that didn’t seem interested in him or anyone in the slightest, but that didn’t deter Harry from asking the worker if he could hold her. Harry learned that her name was Belle, after the Disney princess. She warmed up to him as he sat in the middle of a playroom, legs criss crossed like he was five again. She sniffed at his hands for a while before climbing into his lap and laying down like she’d always belonged there.

Of course, he started to get emotional, wiping at the tears that threatened to fall and running his hands through her soft fur. He gathered her up in his arms and kissed her head, sniffling. To be honest, he felt a little pathetic crying in the back of a pet store, but he couldn’t bring himself to really care. Before he left, he had thirty minutes before he had to go get Hunter, he did get Belle, and he pretended the worker who watched him cry into her fur wasn’t giving him an amused look. He spent an obscene amount of money getting her cat food, a bed, a mini scratching post and all the things she needed for her litter box and somehow ended up being late getting Hunter.

In all the excitement of going out to brunch with Louis and then impulsively getting a cat, he forgot how Hunter would feel about their new family member. Luckily, he didn't seem to care all that much and was actually excited to have a pet, even if it wasn’t a dog.

“I just think dogs are better.” He shrugged, carrying Belle into the house while Harry got all of her supplies.

Harry rolled his eyes, struggling not to drop her food all over the walkway. “You’re just saying that. You’ve never even been around dogs long enough to think that.”

“Nope,” he exaggerated, letting her out of her cage in the living room and watching her immediately go under the couch. “I just think dogs are more lively.”

“Well,” Harry sighed, setting up all of her stuff after he took off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket. “When you get your own place, you can get as many dogs as you want.”

“I want three huskies.”

After setting everything up and spending some time watching Belle roam around and getting used to her new surroundings, Harry pulled out his phone and took a picture of her. He sent it to Louis texting ‘ _Sooo, I just adopted a cat after our brunch. How insane am I? O.0’_

Louis sent back a string of heart emojis’ and then ‘ _I thought you didn’t want any more kids?’_

Harry smiled at that and sent back a couple more photos of Belle before his phone went dead. 

+

The start of October brought nothing new to Harry’s life.

Things were going good with Belle, and Hunter had actually warmed up to her, requesting that her little bed be in his room even though she barely used it. For the most part, she slept on the couch or at the foot of one of their beds, which meant they had to keep their room doors open for her at night, which meant Harry finally had a peek into Hunter’s room, and nearly lost it at how messy it was. They, of course, got into an argument about Hunter eating in his room and just how bad he had let it get. Hunter promised to clean it up and Harry made him keep his room door open so he could monitor his progress. He also took away his game for the week as a punishment. 

Other than that and his constant talks and texting with Louis (they even went out to see a movie on a random afternoon on the weekendAvery was away at her grandparents’ and Hunter was at home), nothing of significance happened at the start of the Fall season.

On a Thursday, two weeks before Halloween, Harry got an invitation to his brother’s wedding.

He stared at it for a long time, sitting at the little table he bought off someone on Facebook Marketplace for less than half the retail price he could have paid. The swoopy cursive letters made him feel sick as he traced it with his fingers. He was clenching the letter too tight, it was wrinkling at the ends.

It wasn’t the letter itself that made him feel nauseated, it was the neat little note tucked inside letting him know where his sitting arrangement would be. He would sit at a table with his mother, his grandmother, his sister, two aunts, and their husbands. Hunter would sit beside him, then his mother on the other side of Hunter, and Gemma would be seated next to Harry. It was a table that would be right at the front and towards where the bride and groom would be seated.

For a brief moment, after he had initially found out about his brother’s impending nuptials, Harry completely forgot that there would be other people there. See, he’d never been to a wedding before, he’d been to plenty of graduations and funerals of closer family members, but never a wedding. They never got invited to such things, and as often as they moved around when he was younger, their invites, if there were any, would have gotten lost in the mail. 

He clenched and then unclenched his jaw. He wanted to text Louis, but then he realized he’d have to clue him in a bit more on why he was so distant from his family and why the thought of having to stand around his family and shoot the breeze and pretend like his father was some military hero and not a self-destructive asswipe that abused his kids and wife. He would have to sing his praises, accept condolences when someone said how it’s such a shame he died and couldn’t be here to see his son get married. Smile when they pinched his cheek and reminisce how they used to watch him when he was a baby, try not to frown when they stuck their noses up at him as they remembered he got a girl pregnant at nineteen and was a single father. Dodge questions about his faith, whether he still went to church, had he ever seen her around, was he raising Hunter to be god-fearing and righteous.

He wanted to throw up just thinking about it all. He couldn’t believe that Dylan would even invite them.

So, instead of ringing up Louis like he wanted to, he shakily pressed his sister's contact to call her. They hadn’t spoken in too long and Harry didn't even think she'd answer, but it went through.

“Hello?” She said, unaware. 

“Hey, it’s me.” He said, voice wavering between a whisper and a shout. “Got my invitation in the mail.”

It was quiet on the other end for some time, Harry would have thought she would have hung up on him, but he could hear her breathing. A minute later,

“Hmm, yeah, same.” She sounded tense, annoyed, and quite frankly angry at him which he understood. They hadn’t talked in— 

She scoffed. “So, that’s what you called me for?”

“Honestly it's just, uhh,” He couldn’t help but to pinch his bottom lip between his forefingers, a nervous habit he’d had for a while now. “It just dawned on me that so many of the family is going to be there.”

She hummed, “Yup. That’s who shows up at weddings, _family_.” 

“Gemma—”

“Listen,” she sighed. “I don’t want to fight or argue or hold a grudge or anything because you are my little brother and we are adults, not children. Right now, I just got off work early because I am not feeling too well. Mom already talked my ear off while I was in my car because she’s upset that she has to sit next to her sisters and their husbands. I don’t feel like talking about the wedding so, _please_ talk about anything else or I’ll hang up on you.”

Harry spluttered for a second, trying to rack his brain before he settled on something easy. “Hunter is uhh, doing good in school?” He hated how he phrased it as a question, he didn’t really even mean to, but he didn’t want Gemma to hang up.

“Oh, yeah? How is my nephew, still the spitting image of you?”

Guilt started to build in his stomach. “Yeah, just a bit shorter though.” 

They hadn’t talked since last Christmas when Harry made an empty promise to come back ‘home’ to spend time with them and then got cold feet, sold the plane tickets, and swallowed his guilt as he stayed in Michigan. He hadn’t been around since their dad died, and even before that when he moved as far away as he could, they never invited him to holidays, especially when he was still alive. But, for some reason, Gemma invited him, and for a multitude of conflicting reasons, Harry promised he’d come, and then he didn’t.

“Mom tells me you're back in Piemouth?” She said.

Harry laughed breathlessly, “Uhh, yeah I am, actually. I don’t fucking know why, though,”

“When she first told me I honest to God thought you had lost it, I literally told mom you’re insane, but then again you always did love that place for some reason.” She paused, “And it’s the same house and everything, huh? Same rickety old porch? Same creaky floorboards?”

Harry peered around. Belle was using her scratching post and the candle he lit earlier cast an orange glow on everything in its reach. “It’s different now actually, not so rickety, the town is different too. It’s strange.”

She laughed. “Well, I bet it is you haven’t been back there in years but, umm. That’s good, you seem good? The both of you,” Harry knew what she meant.

He thought for a second, but all in all, he didn’t hesitate, “Yeah, I’m good. I think,” He knew actually, he hadn’t felt this content in a long time.

“Well, that’s good, for the both of you. Listen I have to go, but I’ll see you at the wedding in April. Can’t wait to see you back home.”

Harry sucked in a breath. “Oh, yeah, of course. I’ll see you then, bye.”

“Well, I would hope you’d call before then seeing as it’s next year but okay. Bye.”

Harry clenched his phone to his ear, letting the sound of Belle scratching her post and the flicker of the candle calmed what little bit of anxiety he had left.

+

The closer they got to Halloween, the colder things started to get. Harry was used to it, spending a good chunk of his life in Michigan which got so bad around fall and winter that the weather in Piemouth dipping down to the forties and fifties did nothing but bring a good change of weather for him. The heat had finally broke, and it was time for him to break out their winter clothes and coats, although now that he thought about it, Harry only packed his things up. Hunter wanted to keep his out, no matter how much Harry nagged at him he shrugged him off and even wore his hoodies all summer round in spite of him, he was sure. Hunter had always been a headstrong child and Harry struggled to understand where he got it from.

He and Louis texted on and off. Somehow, October ended up being a busy month for the both of them. Two weeks in, Louis threw Avery her sleepover party and called in to report at seven the next day that everything went well. There had been no accidents or anything, and that his sister (Charlotte, Harry remembered) came over to help so he wasn’t really outnumbered.

Work picked up for him and he started to develop a crick in his neck, moaning to Louis about how he desperately needed to go see a chiropractor so they could quote _‘crack him open like a glow stick’_ It made Louis laugh when he said it, which in turn made Harry laugh. They saw each other some more, going to see another movie or sometimes meeting up for coffee and muffins on their breaks.

His mom called about a week before Louis invited both him and Hunter over for Halloween. It was a short conversation and she asked if he had gotten his invitation. He told her she already knew he got it because she talked to Gemma. She feigned ignorance and then they got to talking about Gemma and then Dylan, and a little about his bride Melissa, and then Hunter, and then work. By the time his mom had mentioned his dad for the third time, he stopped her, said he was tired and hung up as quickly as possible.

Piemouth had its sanctioned trick-or-treat time, between six and ten on Halloween. Louis told him that Avery wanted to be a ninja while he was going to throw on some sweatpants and a matching sweatshirt and go as a high school gym teacher. Harry laughed and called him an idiot 

Just before they hung up, Louis invited them over the day before Halloween to come over to his house and watch Halloween movies with the kids. Harry accepted. Hunter usually would beg Harry to buy him a mask and a fake machete, but he never went out for Halloween anymore, he stopped when he was thirteen, and Harry was never one to leave out candy or keep the porch light on.

His job back in Michigan never threw them any parties, not even a Christmas party to end the New Year on a happy note. But his new job decided they wanted to go all out, and even hired professionals to turn one of the floors into a haunted house. Harry didn’t have friends where he worked, acquaintances yes, but no one that would miss his presence when he decided to skip.

+

They arrived at the Tomlinson’s as soon as the sun started to go down. Harry did indeed buy Hunter a scary mask but in the span of three days between now and when he bought it he lost it. Harry didn't fight with him about it, just told him to be more careful and to take better care of his things.

“Whose house are we going over to again?” Hunter asked, his head leaning against the window.

Harry glanced down at his navigation for a quick second and then to Hunter and then to the road. “A friend I met a few months ago. His name is Louis Tomlinson.”

“Oh, when did you meet?”

Harry made a turn, they were only ten minutes away. “Uhhh, at the little school district meeting thing a few months ago. I guess we sorta hit it off you could say.”

Hunter hummed.

Harry glanced at him quickly and saw him smiling.

“So,” he murmured, “that’s who you’ve been texting all this time and talking to? I thought it was a woman you had met.”

Harry nearly choked on his spit, “Oh, no! It’s just Louis, promise. If I ever were to date or even like, think about starting to date, I’d tell you.”

Hunter hummed again, blowing a raspberry into the air. Harry held himself back from getting on his case about getting spit everywhere. “Well, I’m just glad you have a friend.” He said, thoughtfully. “You don’t have friends, or you’re just good at hiding them from me? I don’t know, but I’m happy that you have a friend.”

Something inside Harry broke a little. He had never realized or even noticed that Hunter would notice the lack of friends in his father’s life. Or how happy it would make him that he had one, how happy it made Harry himself. He obviously noticed the lack of friendship in his life, but the thing no one told you about being an adult was how hard it was to make those friendships. There was nothing there to constantly foster them, no school to fall back onto to see each other almost every single day unless you had a work friend. It was even harder to get into an intimate relationship, but that was a can of tightly packed worms Harry did not want to get into.

They made it there in under ten minutes thanks to Harry’s excellent driving skills (less so his parking skills) and, by the time they pulled into the driveway, his hands were clutching so tightly to the steering wheel, his knuckles were white. He released them and the blood that had been drained slowly made its way back to his hands, making them look like he dipped his fingers and palms in pink paint. 

He texted Louis, letting them know they had arrived, but the red door was already being swung open on the brick house and there Louis was with a bright warm smile. Avery was beside him in her ninja costume, doing kicks and karate chops in the air. Hunter glanced over at him with wide eyes before sighing and waiting for Harry to get out of the car first, which he did when he got all feeling back to his hands. 

Louis greeted him with a tight hug, and gave Hunter one too, much to his surprise. “Hello, hello! Welcome to our humble abode.” Louis glanced down and gave Avery a dazzling smile. She really resembled Louis, with bright blue eyes, freckles dotting her small pinched face, and her straight brown hair tied into a low pony. “This is my—”

Avery moped and crossed her arms. “That’s not the line,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper obviously only meant for Louis to hear, but they weren’t even 2 feet away.

Louis pouted in return, albeit a fake one before he cleared his throat and started over again. “This here is the wonderful and ever sluthful, Avery, the best ninja in the world!” 

And as if on cue, Avery karate chopped the air and then bowed, her ponytail swinging around as she gave them a smile, two of her front teeth were missing. “I even have an orange belt because I take like, actual karate classes, and I just graduated from.” She frowned, looking at Louis who in turn looked at Harry.

“She graduated from a yellow belt, she’s my little ass-kicker.”

“Hey, that’s a bad word!” Avery yelled.

Hunter snorted. “That’s cool. My name is Hunter, the… the best _gamer_ in the world.” He gave Harry a smirk as he said it.

Harry rolled his eyes. “He had a mask but he lost it, literally after I just bought it a day ago.”

“It was three days ago, which I’d say is enough time to lose it,” Hunter said.

Louis started to usher them in, taking their coats while they took off their shoes. “I agree,” he said. “It’s the appropriate amount of time to lose things, I fully understand.”

Harry gave him a look. “Hey, you’re supposed to side with the parent.”

Louis just shrugged. “Nah, us young people have to stick together.”

That sent them both into a fit of laughter while both of the kids gave them strange looks. Louis’ house felt as cozy as it appeared outside. There were photos of his family on almost every surface. As they walked in, there was a mini collage of various family members, weddings, graduations, births, a young Louis, some a college aged Louis. When they entered the living room, there were even more pictures, a dog bed just to the right of the TV stand, and fairy lights and Halloween decorations everywhere.

Harry smiled. “You know how to decorate, Tomlinson.”

Louis rolled his eyes playfully, smirking. “I like watching house design shows on Youtube and HGTV, so I picked up a thing or two.” He closed his eyes briefly and shrugged, bumping into Harry a little.

Harry bumped into him back, and then they spent the next ten minutes trying to decide what the lineup for tonight would be. Nothing too scary or Avery wouldn’t be able to watch, which made Hunter glower a little before conceding. That left out a lot of things and in the end, they picked four kid friendly movies to watch: Twitches, Coraline, Monster House, and Halloween Town. Louis told him that an hour before he had gone out and bought as much discount Halloween candy as he could and that they could help themselves.

“Honestly, take as much as you like. I might have gone a little overboard. But you can never have too many Snickers and M&M’s,” he said.

Avery grabbed two fistfuls of candy and dumped them into a sparkly pink Halloween bucket. She huffed. “Gummy bears are the best candy. I hate M&M’s.”

Hunter raised a brow. “Are you even human? Every human loves M&M’s.”

She pouted. “Well, I guess I’m not human, then.”

“I don’t like M&M’s all that much either, and I love me a good gummy bear,” Harry said.

Louis gave him a look.

“Of course the old man likes gummy bears. The hard chocolate will shatter his teeth.” He said.

“I like gummy bears and I’m not as old as Mister Harry!” Avery said around a mouthful of Twizzlers, red spittle dripping down her chin.

Harry sulked, he couldn’t believe this was going to continue to haunt him. “I’m not even… Louis is literally two years older than me. You even have more grey hairs than me.”

“Hey, hey, hey!” Louis threw his hands up. “Let’s not go comparing the amount of grey’s we have, and plus I’m gonna be a silver fox—”

“Yeah, in like, two years.” 

They went back and forth on the age jokes and soon the kids didn't find it all as amusing anymore and begged them to please start one of the movies. Louis put on Coraline first and they all sat down to watch. Hunter was on his right, Louis to his left, and Avery was on Louis’ left. If Harry was honest, he was sort of glad they couldn’t watch anything scarier for Avery’s sake, as he’d never been into scary movies and, every time he finished watching one of them, he’d be paranoid for days.

Coraline actually turned out to be a lot scarier than Harry thought. He’d never watched this when he was younger, didn’t even know it was a thing until forty minutes before and from the little preview, it showed as they queued up the movies he thought it was going to be a lot less creepy. He jumped a few times here and there, which sometimes caused Avery to jump, which caused both Hunter and Louis to laugh at them. Harry might be a grown man, but he wasn’t afraid to admit when he was, well, afraid. He wasn’t afraid of this movie per say, but he would be warier of creepy small doorways that’s for sure. 

After the movie ended, it went right into Monster House, and just as the opening credits started to roll, Harry asked Louis where the bathroom was, the can of Mountain Dew going right through him.

“It’s in the little hallway just past the kitchen, the first door to the right,” he whispered.

Harry nodded and got up, suppressing a small groan so that Louis didn’t have any more ammunition to fill his jokes. Harry walked straight into the kitchen and smiled when he saw more fairy lights, they seemed to be in almost every room in the house. Harry found the bathroom quickly, taking his time a little before he had to go back out there. He washed his hands and spent a minute wondering if he could dry them on the little towel hanging up on the back of the door or not. He decided not to and just shook his hands to get the water off as best as he could before he headed back out.

As he headed back into the kitchen, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Louis standing there opening a bag of popcorn kernels.

He gave Harry a sheepless look. “Forgot to make the popcorn, and I could tell they’re getting tired of the candy, so I just decided to make the popcorn now.” His voice, Harry thought, was the softest he’d ever heard it. He knew because the kids were watching the movie that he was trying to keep any outside noise to a minimum, but it still caught Harry off guard after being so used to how captivating and loud Louis could be. It was a nice softness and it made Harry’s stomach churn just a bit.

“That’s nice,” Harry said, and because he didn’t want to go back to the movie just yet, he stayed with Louis, waving him off when he told Harry that he was missing the movie. “I think I’ve seen that movie before, so I'm not really missing anything.” He hadn’t seen that movie before, but if it meant he gets to stay in this kitchen and talk to Louis a little while longer, then so was it. Plus, he wasn’t really that interested in the premise of Monster House as he had been with Coraline.

“So did you snoop through the cabinets in the bathroom?” Louis asked. It caught him off guard, and for a second he thought Louis might be annoyed, but he’s smiling. 

“Uhh, no,” Harry answered.

“I’m just kidding, Harold.” Louis grabbed a pan, wincing when it banged against a pot and put it on the stove twirling around a pat of butter until the bottom was properly coated.

Harry scrunched his nose. “It’s Harry, please, I hate when people call me Harold. It’s not even my… nevermind, while I didn’t go through your cabinets to spy on whatever vitamins you take, I did have a mini crisis on if I could wipe my clean hands on the towel in there.”

Louis snorted, dropping the whole bag of kernels in the pan and quickly covering it with a lid that’s too big for it. “I like that you specified that your hands were clean, but you could have, that’s why I keep it there.”

“Good to know,” Harry said.

Louis raised an eyebrow at him.

Harry shrugged. “For the future,” He added as an afterthought. It occurred to him briefly how that might sound and his eyes widened for a second when he saw a smirk on Louis’ face. 

Louis schooled his expression, though, and started to move the pan around as the kernels started to pop. “Okay, tell me this is better than sleeping the day away because literally, that’s always my plan after taking Avery out for trick-or-treating.”

“Hunter stopped wanting to trick-or-treat a few years ago. So, on Halloween, I just let him do his own thing, which is usually playing his game. I’ll watch a Lifetime movie or binge watch something until I sleep.”

Louis groaned. “You watch Lifetime movies? Scratch that, you aren’t an old man, you’re an old grandma.”

“ _Hey_.”

Louis snorted, taking the lid off the pan and moving it around some more to get the rest of the uncooked kernels. “Literally only my mom and my grandmother watch Lifetime and LMN, which is literally the same, exactly.”

Harry pouted, leaning against the counter. “It’s actually not that bad if you like the same story of a daughter getting killed by her best friend over and over again. You look like you watch NatGeo.”

Louis scoffed, glaring at Harry. “ _NatGeo_? Do I look like I watch National Geographic?”

Harry shrugged. “Yeah, you probably watch _Shark Week_.”

Louis dumped the popcorn in a bowl, drizzling a decent amount of store-bought movie theater popcorn butter over it and turning the burner off. He turned to Harry with a frown, “Shark Week is not that bad. Avery’s the one who likes NatGeo, she said one day she’s going to have her own show.” He raised a brow. “She also said that I could be a guest star if I let her stay up an extra hour on the weekend.”

Harry laughed. “I’m guessing you won’t be guest starring anytime soon?”

“Nope, she said she won’t even let me step foot on production.”

“Oof,” Harry shook his head, crossing his arms. “That’s brutal, Lou. Might want to concede. Don’t you want to be rich and famous?”

Louis' face scrunched up. “Lou? Alright _Haz_ , and no, I don’t want to be rich and famous. I do want to guest star on what will probably be the best tv show ever.”

“I remember for a very, _very_ brief time where Hunter wanted to be on this kids TV show, I forgot what it’s called, but he wanted to be on it so bad. And I don’t know, I actually thought about it, like moving back to California so he could go in and audition.”

Louis looked surprised. “You lived in California? Also, I can see it, but also not at the same time.”

Harry sucked in a breath, “Uhh, yeah, I used to live there, up north. It was nice actually, I’ve lived in places that have been surrounded by trees all the time, but it was just so beautiful there. Oh, and uh, when Hunter was younger he used to be a lot more excited about things?” He phrased it as a question but he didn’t know why, it was true.

When Hunter was little and would actually want to spend time with him, he used to pick something and just love it and think about it until he exhausted himself and moved onto something else. Like when he would beg and cry for months for Harry to get them a pet ferret, but the apartment they lived in at the time when he was six didn’t allow animals.

Louis nodded. “I think Avery is in that stage right now. She begged me to take karate lessons down at the rec center and I told her to pick between ballet and karate because she couldn’t do both and not exhaust herself. She chose karate and said she’d do ballet later.” He shook his head, smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes. It was strained. “Her mother called today. My sister, she demanded to speak with her and I just went off, Harry.” He glanced up at him, jaw ticked to one side and hands in his pockets.

“Oh, what did Avery do?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I quickly went upstairs, told her to turn the TV up as loud as she wanted, and just went to my room and went off on her.” He huffed, rolling his eyes. “I can’t believe the audacity she has? Look, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy that she realized that raising Avery herself wasn’t a good idea and that she gave her to me no problem.”

Harry nodded his head in agreement. 

“At the courtroom when I was given custody she said,” He lowered his voice to barely just above a whisper, getting closer. “ _Thanks for doing this for me, Lou._ And just took off! She hasn’t called, never sent her birthday cards, or asked to see her until now and I asked her what changed. And you know what she said? _I just want her to get to know me and her little brother a little more. What's the problem?’_ Harry I— I hung up on her. I love my sister to death, don’t get my wrong, I’d do anything for her, but she’s exhausting to deal with.”

Harry took it all in, wide-eyed and desperately searching for the right words to say. He knew what he would want and wouldn’t want to hear if he just info dumped a bunch of personal things to Louis about his family. So, he nodded along, taking in a breath when he finished. “Sorry about that, Lou.” He said, which is something he wouldn’t want to hear, _sorry_ , but he didn’t know what to say. “Family can be _complicated_.”

He scoffed. “You’re telling me…” He stammered for a bit, “I just can’t believe her. Her bringing up that she’s now had another baby is supposed to garner even more sympathy from me? Did she ever stop to think about Avery? If Avery would want to talk to her? If Avery wants to hear that she has a half-brother somewhere out in the world? She’s always thinking about herself, it’s one of the things I always hated the most about her.”

“Did she try and call back?”

He stiffly shook his head. “Nope, and if she did, I wouldn’t have answered. It would have just ruined my mood to go back and forth with her and I didn’t want to ruin this night for us.”

Harry made a face. “Us?”

“You and me? This is the first time you’ve met Avery and this is my first time meeting Hunter.” Louis stared at him intently and then moved his gaze to the bowl of popcorn.

“Oh.”

Louis nodded. “Popcorn’s probably gone cold.” He didn’t look too unhappy about it, and Harry wasn’t. Cold popcorn wasn’t so bad. Also, he might have forgotten that this was the first time he’d ever stepped foot in Louis' house and met Avery tonight. He’d been talking to Louis for so long and getting to know Avery through him that he wasn’t as flustered as he would have been months ago when they’d just met.

Harry unfolded his arms, using his head to motion to the living room. “Should we head back in there with some cold popcorn?”

Louis looked at him, amused. “Yeah, I guess we have been gone a tad bit too long. You go on ahead with the popcorn, I’m gonna get us all something to drink.” He passed the bowl over to Harry and he took it with ease.

The kids hardly noticed when Harry sat the bowl of popcorn down, too enthralled with what was happening on the TV. Louis came back with some cups filled with ice, two liters of Sprite and a half-full jug of lemonade with little lemon slices floating around. The rest of the night was spent on the couch, and at one point, Louis ordered them a pizza and didn't let Harry pay for it.

Avery ended up falling asleep during Halloween Town with a paper plate and a half-eaten pizza in her hands. Hunter fell asleep somewhere between Twitches and the beginning of Halloween Town. Louis gave him a sheepless look and carried Avery upstairs while Harry woke up Hunter and wished that he was little again so he could carry him out to the car like he’d done a million times before. Hunter woke, sulked, and then headed out to the car after saying goodbye and a thank you to Louis.

Then, it was just the two of them Harry offered to clean up and Louis reluctantly let him after being nagged. They did so in silence, and just before Harry left, Louis gave him a hug and a bag of candy.

“Tonight was nice, Styles. We have to do this more often.” Louis mumbled in his ear. 

They were standing in the doorway between Louis’ house and the outside. The wind started to pick up a little, and standing there, under the light hung over them, Louis looked tired and young at the same time. He had his hands in his pockets, a thick sweater on and sweat pants with no socks. He looked a lot like the younger pictures of himself hung up on all of the walls of his house, but a lot older and wiser. 

Harry nodded, mouth turned to the side as he tried to hide his impending smile. “Yeah, we do, it was nice. Much better than drinking a glass of wine at seven and falling asleep just a little past eight.” As he said it he quickly realized how Louis was going to take it, watching his eyes light up. “That’s, don’t—”

“Ahh, an old woman such as yourself does have to get a good night's rest.” He held up his hands in a mock surrender when Harry glared at him. “Hey, now! I may not understand seeing as I’m still young and got a little swing to my hips, but I still empathize. No judgment here.”

Harry laughed. “You’re so insufferable, Louis.”

Louis laughed back, placing a hand on his stomach. “You love it, though.”

Harry didn’t say anything, just nodded and turned slowly, getting in the car and waving goodbye as he pulled off.

“He’s cool,” Hunter said while they were driving down Louis’ neighborhood.

Harry was a little shocked he said anything about Louis at all. “Yeah,” he settled on. “He’s cool.” They rode the rest of the way home in silence.

+

Parent-teacher conferences snuck up on Harry just as much as Thanksgiving did. 

After Halloween, things started to slow down significantly. Hunter stressed over picking new classes for next semester and also from trying to get his grades up so he could be exempt from his finals. So, while things slowed down for Harry and his personal life, things picked up for Hunter. That is, until he got a call from his school, informing him that parent-teacher conferences were coming up. He contemplated whether he wanted to go or not. 

He asked Hunter, who obviously told him to stay home. Then, he asked Louis, who told him he never missed Avery’s, but also because she was so young and was still growing, so he felt like he had to go.

“Well, that just makes me feel bad,” he said.

Louis told him not to, that if he didn’t want to go he didn’t have to, and that Hunter’s midterm grades should speak for themselves. Also, that he hadn’t gotten any worrying calls from his teachers, so it was more than likely not necessary.

“Plus, Hunter is a good kid, with a great parent. I’m pretty sure they’re just gonna say he’s quiet or whatever, but you already knew that.” Louis laminated.

Harry agreed and they hung up soon after that, having made up his mind that everything was alright and that there was no real reason he should call off and go. Even though he did promise himself he wanted to be involved more, Hunter seemed to be doing great. So, what could the teachers tell him other than what Louis said they would?

Hunter seemed elated when he told him the day of the conferences, and convinced Harry to let him stay home today because it was a half-day and he would have to walk home because Harry would be at work. Harry let him stay home with a promise that, if he had any work, he’d go in first thing Monday to go pick it up.

Thanksgiving was the next thing that snuck up on Harry. It took him a long time to realize why Louis kept saying how he and Avery were going home in two weeks, and then in a week, and then in two days. And finally, while on the phone with Louis, he suddenly remembered. 

“Oh! Thanksgiving is tomorrow!” He exclaimed, leaning back into the couch and startling Belle. She stared at him for a second before hopping off the couch and into the kitchen.

Louis laughed. “You forgot Thanksgiving? Aren’t you going to see your family tomorrow? What did you think I was talking about all this time?”

“Fuck,” Harry said. “I swear I didn’t even realize. It genuinely didn’t even occur to me.” Before he could stop himself he murmured. “And I don’t go see my family for Thanksgiving, I stay right at home.”

“Oh.”

Harry silently cursed himself. “It’s just too far you know? They live in California and New York and I live in Indiana.”

“Oh, well. I understand,” Louis said, “that would be far, and you’d probably have to catch a plane.”

Harry nodded, letting out a sigh. “Yeah, we would have to catch a plane. There’s no way my car would make it there in one piece. I still need to put snow tires on her.”

“I know someone who could do that, my friend, Liam. But yeah, do you want to come over to mine? What do you and Hunter normally do?”

Harry quickly shook his head. “Oh, Louis. That’s fine you don’t have to. I just make us a little mini Thanksgiving meal and we watch movies and pig out. I let him have a small sip of wine and then he knocks out from a food coma while I finish a glass and go to bed.”

“Are you sure? My family is huge, so we make a lot of food to last for days and to feed a small army. So, you guys wouldn’t be a bother or anything like that,” He trailed off.

“No, no, I promise it’s fine. You and Avery enjoy yourselves at home, we will too, here. I promise.” He wondered if Louis recognized just how much he didn’t call where his family is, back in California, home. How he avoided that topic as much as he could. How open he was with Harry and how closed off Harry is from him. He hoped he didn't notice.

“Alright, but if you change your mind let me know? Okay?”

“Okay, I promise.”

They left it at that, moving on, and then hanging up an hour later. Harry groaned, closing his eyes and listening to the sounds of Belle crunching as she ate.

+

Thanksgiving came and went like it always did. Harry didn’t go back to California, and he didn’t receive any phone calls from his siblings or his mom asking him where he was. He never does, and he hadn’t since he moved away. He liked it like this, as strange as it all was.

He did what he always did, cooked a mini Thanksgiving meal that didn't take all day to prepare, and they both pigged out in front of the tv. Hunter went into a food coma like he always did and Harry drank a bottle of wine instead of a glass and drunkenly texted Louis, which was something new. Usually, he fell asleep on the couch, but Louis was being funny and annoying and Harry was drunk, so he entertained him and his shenanigans. 

A week after Thanksgiving, it started to snow.

Harry watched through bleary eyes and a stuffy nose in bed on a Saturday morning. Belle was perched on the little ledge on the window licking her paw. He heard his door open, shuffling, and then Hunter was coming into his view with a wide smile.

“Hi, dad.” He whispered. He turned and looked out the window at the snow falling, all wide-eyed and smiley. Harry knew why he was in here, at the first sight of snow he always gave Harry his Christmas list weeks in advance. “So,” He trailed off. “I’m just gonna leave this here and let you sleep.” He gave Harry a thumbs up and tiptoed out of his field of vision.

“Wait,” Harry said, groggily. “Give me a hug and feed Belle and maybe I’ll read it over today.” 

Before he could even get the rest of his words out, Hunter was flopping down on the bed in front of him and throwing his arms around him, giving Harry a hard squeeze. His field of vision was completely taken up by Hunter’s wild wavy hair. “When did you get so strong?” Harry wheezed.

Hunter laughed and hugged him tighter, slowly loosening up. He hummed, and now Harry had an arm full of Hunter. Belle stared at them before she hopped off the window sill and hopped onto the bed and kneaded at Harry’s head for a second. It felt nice, and then she was laying down on the pillow beside him thumping her tail on Hunter’s head.

It was a good morning. They ended up falling asleep just like that, and it reminded Harry of when Hunter was four and didn’t want to sleep in his old bed, and he’d hear the pitter-patter of his little feet quickly come into his room, and then he’d hear the flop of his body hitting the mattress, elling in excitement at the first sight of snow, making plans to go out and make a snowman at the park and snow angles afterward. And then little arms would hug him from the back, tugging until Harry was the big spoon, and they’d fall asleep just like that every night.

Harry did end up reading Hunter’s list later that day with a cup of tea in his hands at the table. There were only seven things on this list and the majority of them were video games. The three that caught Harry’s eyes were the guitar, a new phone and a keyboard. Before Harry could think too much about what this all meant, Louis was calling him, and his sister was texting him. He frowned and answered Louis’s call.

“Hello?”

“Hello.”

Harry’s frown deepened, he watched as Belle started to chase a laser pointer that Hunter’s controlling. “Is something wrong?”

Louis' voice grew several octaves, which was new. “Mmm, no! I was just bored at work and a little pissed at myself for picking up when no one else is here and it’s snowing outside and I’d like to be home playing in it with Avery.”

Harry looked outside, it’d gotten worse since this morning, but it didn’t look to be sticking to the ground. He told Louis as much. “It’s not stay snow.”

“Stay snow?”

Harry pursed his lips. “Yeah, it’s not staying on the ground, sticking.”

“Wow, okay. I’ve never hard that before.

“It’s this thing we use to say in my family. But uh, why did you pick up work on a Saturday? Don’t you check the weather throughout the week?” Harry asked.

Louis huffed. “No, I do not, because I am not an old man. Are you doing anything? You seem…”

“Oh, no I’m not. Hunter gave me his Christmas list and honestly it’s not too bad.”

Louis laughed. “Isn’t it a bit too early for that? Avery gave hers to Santa, and I’m putting air quotes around Santa, like two weeks before Christmas.”

Harry stared at Hunter and Belle. “The first day it snowed Hunter gave me a list, we’ve been doing it like that for a while. But most of his list is video games and I looked them all up and they all add up to a hundred and twenty, which isn’t bad at all. He also wanted a new phone, a keyboard, and…” Harry picked up the list and squinted at it. “A guitar, even though he’s never seemed interested in it. But I guess I’m buying my baby a guitar.”

“Oh!” Louis yelled. “I know someone who could give him lessons down at the rec center. His name is Niall, if you mention my name he might spit on the ground but really he’s my friend. I could get you a few lessons for free, but after he might get annoyed with me and you’ll have to pay after that. He’s off for the season but I know in the Spring he started up again! I was thinking of getting Avery lessons but she’s not as interested in learning an instrument as I want her to be.” Louis babbled on for a few more seconds before pausing. “Sorry, when I get excited I go on and on and on.”

Harry laughed quietly, “It’s okay, that’s actually really nice of you, Louis. You really don’t have to do that for me. Us… _Hunter_ ,” At the sound of his name, Hunter turned to face him, pointing the laser at his feet and causing Belle to run across the room and knock herself into the couch.

“ _Nonsense_! Literally, I could get him a job if he wanted at a consignment shop cause the owners are my godparents.” Louis exclaimed, seeming to be full of a lot of energy for a Saturday morning.

“Wow!” Harry glanced over at Hunter, feeling his eyes on him, which they were. He gave him a little smile. “That’s great, but he’s still young and he’s a bit shy, but I’ll tell him when he’s ready.”

“Alright, well, I’ll let you go. I just needed a bit of distraction from work.” He explained, “I think the coffee that I drank to keep me going is messing with my head and my bowels. Sorry, TMI. I’m just gonna leave early in about an hour and go get Avery and some hot chocolate. It’s what we do when the first snow hits, get some hot choco and play in the snow.”

“That’s nice. Well, goodbye, Louis!” 

“Bye, H.”

Harry smiled at the nickname. He sat down his phone and leaned back in the chair, sighing. 

Christmas came and Harry tried his hardest to decorate the house as best as he could. He sort of went all out, and for a split second, he thought about how hard it was going to be to sell all this when he was done, and then he realized that he could just put this all in storage in the basement. 

Hunter reluctantly helped him decorate the house and the tree in between his study breaks. Harry was at least eighty percent sure he wasn't really studying, but playing his game instead. But, every time Harry went to check on him, he was hunched over the little desk in his room with a book in hand and study guides. He wasn’t lucky enough to get exempt from all of his finals, he still had to take his calculus final and his English final. Other than that, he was good, and both of them were on the same day too so he was going to be finished early. At least, that’s what Hunter excitedly told him, happier that he would have the rest of the week off than anything.

On Christmas Eve, Harry let Hunter open one present. He heard from Louis that he let Avery do the same thing, except he picked out three presents and she picked from those so she wouldn’t end up opening her big presents a day before Christmas. Hunter opened up his guitar much to Harry’s dismay, but he didn’t mind too much. He’s just happy he didn’t open up his new phone.

Normally, Harry only woke up at around nine or ten on Christmas. Hunter was always already up and usually waiting for Harry to get up. Harry didn’t open presents till around ten thirty, and before that, he’d make them a special Christmas breakfast. Hunter would pout and complain about Harry hurrying up and Harry would give him a look and continue on with breakfast.

Considering that, this time around, he had Belle and Louis in his life, Christmas morning went a little differently than it normally would. 

He woke up to a string of texts from Louis and Belle sleeping on his head, practically smothering him with her fur. Harry gently moved her and tried his best to match Louis’ level of excitement when he texted him back. It wasn’t hard to, Louis’ excitement rubbing off on him and he was a little giddy as he started his day.

Hunter, like always, was perched on the couch scrolling on his phone, waiting for Harry. “Are you doing Christmas breakfast?” He asked, pouting. He had his guitar next to him with its flimsy case. There were already drawings and stuff scribbled over its wooden surface.

“ _Hunter_. I literally just bought that and you’re already writing all over it?” Harry tightened his robe around his waist and gave his son a look.

“ _Dad_ ,” he whined. “All the cool looking guitars have writings and drawings on them, it's how you make it yours. I was even going to let you write something on it.” He gave Harry a wide smile, but Harry was not amused in the slightest. 

“I…” Harry rubbed at his temple, trying to cool his temper. In the grand scheme of things, he knew he was going to do that eventually, but it still annoyed Harry that he wrote all over the two hundred dollar guitar the day after he just got it. “Alright, we aren’t skipping Christmas breakfast, I was thinking about it but you just blew it. Go into the kitchen and get all the things out.”

Hunter groaned, but did as he said. Harry made sure to take his time making breakfast and went even slower when they sat down and ate. When Hunter asked if this was punishment for writing on his guitar, Harry gave him a look and he went back to eating his waffles. 

They cleaned up the kitchen afterwards, and with nothing else to really do, Harry let Hunter have at it. He opened his games first, giving Harry a hug and saying his thank yous. Louis texted him pictures of Avery opening up a dollhouse, one of her playing out in the snow, and another of her sleeping with a cookie in her mouth. From the look of the pictures, he wasn’t at his house, which must mean he was at his parent’s house. Harry sent him some pictures too, of their breakfast, Hunter’s guitar with a string of angry emojis, and of Hunter playing around with his phone and keyboard. 

The rest of the day went by in a flash. Hunter spent most of his time in his room, but he did come out to shyly give Harry two poorly wrapped gifts. “Happy Christmas.” He said, teetering back and forth on his feet. He looked hesitant, probably because this was his first time ever buying Harry a present.

“Thanks, bug. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Harry exaggerated his pout and carefully opened his gifts. One of them was a vinyl record of a Pink Floyd album.

“You said you liked listening to it, and you used to have a lot of those vinyls…” He trailed off, blushing deeply.

“Thank you, lovely. I really love it.” Harry hugged it to his chest before setting it aside carefully and unwrapping his second gift. It was a pair of purple fuzzy slippers that perfectly matched his robe. “Ohh, thank you so much, my love.”

“Yeah, I got it because it matches your robe.” Harry pulled him into a tight hug, only letting him go when he started to complain. They didn’t really watch Christmas movies, so Harry let Hunter go back into his room. He texted a picture of his gifts to Louis with the caption ‘ _my son is literally so sweet, he got me my favorite album and some slippers’_ along with a string of crying emojis.

Louis sent back heart emojis and ‘ _Avery made me some necklaces and did my Christmas makeup’._ He sent a picture of himself with pink glitter eyeshadow and a necklace that said _‘love you da’_ spelled with beads.

Later on in the day, Harry made Hunter's favorite dinner (chicken philly with a bunch of vegetables and fries) and let him have a small sip of wine that he didn’t have on Thanksgiving. He and Louis continued to text well into the night, and soon he was agreeing to plans to meet up on New Years’. Before he could ask what Louis was planning on them to do, he fell asleep, accidentally sending a _what_ before he passed out.

+

Harry and Hunter were never the ones to do New Year’s resolutions. And if they did, they never stuck to them. Hunter, when he was ten, made a resolution to play a sport in school. And for a while, he seemed so excited about it, he really wanted to do something like lacrosse like he’d seen on TV, but the school he went to didn’t offer it. So, the next best thing to him was soccer, and because he was so sure that he would go through with it and would do little jumping jacks and high knees to warm up, Harry bought him everything he needed. Shorts, nice long sleeve shirts, cleats, high knee socks and padding the whole nine yards. 

And, then, Hunter found out about the world of video games and he immediately forgot all about soccer. At first, Harry was annoyed and he made him go to tryouts and watched as he barely showed any enthusiasm as he had just two months prior. So, Harry dropped it, sold all the stuff he had just bought and got Hunter an inexpensive headphone set.

Harry made little resolutions here and there, but never anything too grand that he knew he wouldn’t complete. Little stuff that he’d forget about in a month and then by the end of the year realize he’d either done it or that he forgot about it altogether. 

On New Year's Eve, before he moved back to Piemouth, he made a resolution to do better. And it was broad enough that it could have meant anything, like getting better at doing all the laundry on Saturdays. Or doing better at Spring cleaning the apartment and getting rid of old stuff he didn’t need anymore. Doing better at being a better parent, doing better at trying to reconcile with his family, doing better at getting over the stuff with his dad. 

So now that New Years Eve had arrived and he’d moved back to Piemouth, and he’d probably talked to his family more than he had in so long, and he had a friend, and he felt like he was a better dad, and he was sitting in the rec center next Louis finger painting with a glass full of wine and other half drunk adults around him, Harry realized that he had done better.

Louis dipped his fingers in a deep red color, making little dots all over his canvas. He’d gotten the arms of his sweater raised over his forearms and his hair was laying softly on his forehead. He told Harry just before he got there that he got a little trim from his Mom, and that it made him feel like a little boy again.

One of the rec center workers there announced to them all that her granddaughter had just been born in Japan and they all cheered and clapped for her. She teared up a little and went around to show everyone pictures of her.

Louis leaned over and murmured in his ear. “My birthday was a little while ago and guess what—”

Harry quickly cut him off. “It was your _birthday_? When?”

Louis shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s on Christmas Eve, so it’s pretty hard to forget. I sometimes do,” he dipped two of his fingers in orange and made lines on the sides of the canvas.

Harry scoffed, using the back of his hand to lightly hit Louis on his shoulder. “What the hell, Louis? We literally talked all day on Christmas Eve. Why didn’t you bring it up?”

Louis slapped his hand away, giving him a surprised look. “You ruined my beautiful painting! And, like I said it’s Christmas Eve, and I always forget! I didn’t do anything special.”

Harry shook his head, smiling deeply, “Yeah, well, get ready for next year. I’ll do something special for you.” He said, taking a sip from his glass and making little yellow squiggles on his canvas. The theme for this _‘paint and sip_ ’ section was abstract.

Louis bumped his shoulder. “Since when did you have dimples?” He shook his head in disbelief.

Harry laughed, trying to use his hand to cover it but realizing rather quickly it was covered in paint. “Nice subject change, but I’ve literally always had dimples. Hunter has them too.”

“Holy shit,” Louis swayed a little, although they hadn’t had enough to get drunk, they were tipsy. Harry felt light like he could float away right now. “I can’t believe I never noticed. I’m seeing you in a whole new drunk light right now.”

Harry rolled his eyes, playfully of course. “You don’t pay enough attention. I’ve laughed and smiled around you enough for you to have noticed. It’s,” Harry paused for a second to take a sip of water, smiling as wide as he could to make his dimples appear. “It’s one of the things that people say they notice about me.” His speech was a little slurred and slowed and he was also swaying a bit. He’d always been a lightweight when it came to drinking.

“Oh, really?” Louis said. “What’s the first thing people notice about you? And not about your looks either.”

Harry went silent for a moment, trying to think about all the various interactions that he’d had with people over the course of his life. The little room that they were in got a little quieter in his head as he tried to focus on Louis’ question. “People always say that I’m a little too quiet, and shy.” Harry glanced at Louis. They were staring at each other now. “What did you think about me at first?”

Louis pursed his lips. It didn’t even look like he took a second to think about it before he said, “To be honest, I thought you were the most interesting person in that little auditorium.”

Harry made a face. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I think I told you before I was going to leave right after, and then I had to save you from eating a cookie made from ninety five percent glitter. Before that, though I noticed you, when you came in and sat down, and before the cookie thing I thought well, I hope I see him around sometime.”

Harry glanced down at his canvas. The paint on his fingers started to dry, he flexed them and watched as it cracked. Little flecks of browns and pinks floating down on the table below. “I always thought,” he shook his head, closing his eyes to gather his thoughts before opening them again. “I always felt invisible growing up, at least, I always wanted to be.” Harry looked at Louis, slowly watching the expression on his face change. “I never thought I was memorable.” 

“You’re the most unforgettable person in this room, and in every room you step in,” Louis whispered. He stared at him intensely, and his eyes flickered downwards for just a quick second before he was looking away.

Harry paused, watching as Louis went back to painting. He dipped his finger in pink, where it was already coated in blue, and swiped it across the canvas. He made little dots in pink across the canvas, and little lines as well. 

It was then that Harry felt his stomach swell with nerves that he’d never really felt around Louis before. And when Louis glanced up at him with a smile, made an old man joke, and laughed at his own jokes, did Harry realize just how pretty he was. His eyelashes were long, and when he smiled or laughed or gazed down, they cast a shadow against his cheeks. He had eye crinkles that reminded him of his grandmother on his mom’s side when she was still alive, and barely there freckles that dotted specific areas on his face. Harry realized that he was staring and that his ears and his face were heating up, so he turned back to his canvas when Louis looked at him again. 

“You alright, Harry?” Louis asked, voice dripping in concern.

Harry nodded curtly, fake coughing into his sleeve. “Yeah, the wine just got to me a little.” He was painfully aware of how sober he was now, and he didn’t want to take any more sips of that wine or else his attraction, or whatever it was that made him see Louis in a new light, might become more intense. He wanted to flee at that moment, get out of there as fast as he could and get home, take a shower, and get in bed and sleep for a thousand years. But Hunter was babysitting Avery, which meant Louis would have to come over and pick her up, and Louis drove them here in the first place.

Harry stood abruptly. “I just need to use the bathroom. I’ll be back.” He sounded out of breath and panicked, so he gave Louis a reassuring smile.

Louis frowned. “Alright.re you sure you’re okay, though?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just need to piss. That wine is moving straight through me,” He tried to laugh and joke but it fell flat with how twitchy he was acting.

Harry left and quickly found an empty bathroom. He hunched over one of the bathroom sinks, taking in his disheveled appearance. Just the day before, he’d shaved the beard and mustache he had been growing. He was clean-shaven, and honestly, it made him look a lot younger. He appeared to be at least twenty one again, but he didn’t feel like it. At twenty-one, he already had a two-year-old, and he was living at home, and his father was alive yelling at him for being a shit father. For letting the girl he’d gotten pregnant runoff, for not going to college and doing something with his life, for not being man enough to ask Ellie to marry him before she took off.

He was startled out of his thoughts when someone came in and made a beeline for the urinal. Harry quickly washed his hands and took a detour to get outside. The fresh cold air woke him up, drying the sweat that’d been gathering on his forehead. He took in a deep breath, and tried to breathe out all those nasty memories and cling on to new happy ones.


	2. Part 2

With a new year, came rebirth and change, or maybe the saying was that Spring meant rebirth and change. But then, what did the new year bring? At least to Harry, the start of the year brought a lot of change. Some of it scared him, like the way he couldn’t help but see Louis in a new light, and in turn, he started to distance himself a bit from him. He didn’t answer his text right away like he usually would and was a little less friendly when they spoke over the phone – no malice at all, he had just been curter. 

When Harry wasn’t ducking and dodging Louis’ requests to hang out, and they actually did go and hang out or he went over to Louis’ house, he constantly reminded himself to be on his guard and not to be too overt. Not because of Louis, but because he was trying to work through his newfound attraction to him and get over it.

January brought change in ways Harry wished didn’t happen. February brought nothing particularly new; his birthday happened and he got a call from Louis at seven in the morning wishing him a happy birthday. Apparently, he got that information from Hunter, and when those two exchanged phone numbers, Harry didn’t remember, but it did bring a smile to his face.

His birthday fell on a Friday and he reluctantly let Hunter stay home from school and called off from work so they could celebrate together. Hunter did something he had never done before, and that’s cook without burning everything. He came into Harry's room around nine with some waffles and a candle stuck in the middle, burning brightly. Belle trailed after him, jumping on the bed and sitting beside Harry. 

“Happy birthday, dad!” Hunter exclaimed, whooping when Harry blew out the candles.

“Thank you, bug,” Harry said with a tired smile.

They ate the waffles in bed and, later on in the day, Harry took them out to eat for the first time ever since they had moved here. He took them five minutes out of town to go to The Cheesecake Factory. It was a place that didn’t only sell cheesecakes and had the most confusing tacky. Hunter chose it and Harry didn’t mind him choosing, finding it nice to not have that pressure on himself.

They ate and headed home. Harry had a beer and fell asleep on the couch to the sound of Hunter playing his video games. Louis had texted him eight times throughout the day, all of which Harry had ignored. All in all, it was a good birthday, one of the best he’d had in a while.

+

There were these gut feelings that one went through as a parent that started to happen from the moment your kids were born and that didn’t ever stop. Little random moments when the realization that something bad was about to happen to them hit, or that they were about to make a bad decision or do something reckless. It was how he stopped Hunter from jumping off the bed when he was three and breaking his arm, or from running after a stray dog that ended up biting people and making the news.

Harry got that gut feeling on a random day in March, when the snow had just started to melt and was being replaced by early April showers. It still reached a low of twenty degrees most days and he didn’t let Hunter leave the house without bundling up, no matter how much he protested that a hoodie was just enough.

Harry dropped him off at school with a kiss on his head. He received a glare from it and all he could do was smile and wave him off. He texted Louis good morning just before he left the parking lot and headed off to work. 

He got that gut feeling watching Hunter walk into that building, but he didn’t think anything of it and it slipped his mind as he sat down at his desk and went over emails. His department got a little pay raise at the start of the year that just went into effect that had Harry breathing easier than he ever had, as he’d never been this financially secure in his life. 

He took a quick five minute break, an hour before his actual break to get a coffee from the breakroom. Sandra was there in her pink power suit and Farrah Fawcett curls that she loved to let everyone know were very natural and she spent only thirty minutes getting it the way she wanted. Harry filled his cup with some freshly brewed coffee and tried his hardest to act as if he was interested in whatever Sandra was saying. She was his superior, so, he at least laughed a bit at her jokes and tried to ignore her flirting with him. 

Just as she asked for the nineteenth time since he started working there if he’s dating someone (he always said yes so she left him alone), he got a phone call from the high school.

He smiled politely and excused himself, going somewhere a little quieter and secluded. “Hello?”

“Hello, this is vice principal Debra Addams. Am I speaking to the father of Hunter Styles?” She asked.

Harry cringed. “Yes, this is him. Is everything okay?” The only time he’d ever gotten a call from the school was when Hunter was sick and threw up his orange juice in the classroom and he had to be picked up.

She sighed, “Well, I have been informed that there has been bullying going on—”

“ _Bullying_?!” Harry looked around wildly, quickly walking to his desk and getting his things while Debra talked. He left a note for his superior and shut down his computer.

“Yes, which I just want to say we are one hundred percent taking this seriously and will get to the bottom of this. But it appears that Hunter has been in a fight today and—”

“ _Fight_? What do you mean fight?” Harry started to sprint, not caring about the attention he was getting.

“Your son, Hunter, and another student named James had gotten into a very serious altercation today. From the look of it, it was instigated by James and broadcasted on social media.” Her voice was devoid of any emotion like she was telling him that the school just renovated the gym and not that his son had gotten into a fight. “We still haven’t figured out what happened between the two of them that got it to this point, but we will be doing a thorough investigation to figure out what happened.”

Harry drove as fast as he could get away with, gripping the steering wheel as tight as he could. He wanted to throw his phone out the window the more and more she went on. He knew nothing was going to happen, and if this James kid had a persistent enough parent he’d only have to issue an apology with no consequences to his actions. “So, what’s going on now? I’m driving as fast as I can to get there and get my baby.”

Debra cleared her throat. “Well, right now, both boys are being suspended for ten days.”

“Ten—”

She cut him off. “Please, let me finish, sir. Ten days, three of which will be spent in in-school detention, where they will do a workshop on how to get along with each other. Hunter is in the nurse's office. The receptionist, once you give her your name, will take you down to pick him up and take you both to the principal's office to further discuss what will happen next.”

Harry shook his head, cursed a little before sighing. “Alright, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Alright, I’ll see you when you get there, sir.” And then the line went dead.

The drive from work to the school had to be the longest ten minutes of his life. He drove as fast as he could, stayed off the main streets so he could get there faster without having to work around traffic and nearly hit a parked car when he got there. The receptionist had him sign in, and slowly walked him to the nurse's office. He had half a mind to just ask her where it was so he could get there faster, but he didn’t want to be rude. 

In the nurse's office, Hunter was sitting on one of the beds clenching his nose with bloody toilet paper. His eyes were closed, but Harry could see a bruise starting to form on his cheek and eye. 

“Oh, bug,” Harry said, closing the gap between them. “Are you alright? Do you need to go to the doctor or, I don’t know, the emergency room?” He trailed off and looked to the nurse who was wrapping a zip lock bag full of ice in paper towels and giving it to Hunter to replace the one he had on his nose.

“He might need to go to the doctor for his wrist,” the nurse said nonchalantly. He didn’t get why everyone was acting like this wasn’t serious and that his kid wasn’t sitting here with blood on his goddamn shirt.

Hunter still hadn’t even opened his eyes, just let the nurse replace the paper towel and winced, probably at the coldness. 

“Is it broken?” Harry asked, sitting next to him on the little bed and pulling him close. He used the hair tie on his wrist to move Hunter’s hair out of his eyes.

“Uhh, I think it might be. They will be able to do an X-ray and see if anything is broken or not, but, from how swollen it is, I’m pretty sure it is broken.”

Harry sighed, pulling him closer and giving him a kiss on the side of his head, leaning his forehead on Hunter's shoulder.

The receptionist let the nurse clean Hunter up some more before taking them to the principal. Throughout the whole meeting, Hunter was completely silent. He didn’t say a single word. The principal told him that James had been picking on Hunter since the start of the school year. And then, went on to say that people said he threw the first punch, which was why he was also suspended. He just kept his head down, shrugged when he was asked a question and completely ignored Harry when he asked him more questions in the car. The drive to and back from the hospital was just as silent. He got a cast on his wrist and Harry had to choose the color for him because he wouldn’t speak. He chose black.

The only thing he said while they were sitting in the driveway was. “You should see the way he looks.” And then he got out, slamming the car door and the front door.

Harry sat there speechless, leaning back into the seat and sighing. His first instinct was to call someone, Louis specifically, so he did.

He picked up on the third ring, “Hello?”

Harry groaned. “Hey, Louis.”

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

Harry laughed bitterly. “No, Hunter got into a fight in school.”

Alarmed, he said, “What?! Is he okay?”

“Yeah,” Harry sighed. “Apparently, this fucking… _fucker_ James has been ‘picking on him’ since the beginning of the school year. Hunter apparently got fed up, punched him today at lunch and they got into a bad fight. His wrist is broken and he’s got a black eye.”

“What the fuck?”

“ _Exactly_ , and now they’re both suspended for ten days. The school said they’re going to do something about the bullying, but we all know they won’t. Hunter won’t say anything, he did say that James looked worse but I don’t know what to do, Louis. We just got back from the hospital and now he’s got a cast on his wrist.” Harry closed his eyes. “I thought he was doing so good. He said he was doing good.”

“Well, he’s still fifteen, Harry,” Louis said. “Fifteen year olds lie all the time about how they’re really doing. I know I did all the time.”

“Can you come over?” He asked. “He doesn’t want to talk. I tried, and I know he’ll just get annoyed with me and snap. Can you just come over? Or are you at work? Sorry,” he started to ramble and he felt a little pathetic.

“Yeah, I can. I’ll be there, give me five minutes and I’ll be there.”

They hung up and Harry kept his eyes closed. Soon, Louis was there, tapping on the passenger’s side window. Harry let him in and they sat together in silence for a little while. 

Louis was wearing slacks and a button-down, which meant he did get him from work. His hair was styled in a side updo and Harry was so unbelievably attracted to him he had to close his eyes again, doing his best to get rid of those feelings as best he could. It was useless, but he tried.

“Do you want me to try and talk to him?” Louis mumbled. 

Harry shook his head, his eyes still closed. He opened them, looking anywhere but at Louis. “I just wish he would talk to me, but I understand it’s hard to talk to your parent about things, but still. I know he knows I won’t get angry at him. I’m more concerned than anything.”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Louis nod and play with his hands, picking at a hangnail. “Just give him some time. He’ll talk when he’s ready to.”

They moved to the backyard and Harry instructed Louis to sit where he liked while he went back into the house to grab a bottle of wine and two glasses. It was too early in the day to be drinking, as it was only three, but Harry didn’t feel like being sober. So, he and Louis drank and talked.

“When I got the phone call and the vice principal told me what happened, I just left. I wrote a little note and put it on my desk, but I just left, didn’t say anything.” Harry finished off his third glass and poured himself more. “I’m surprised I didn’t get a speeding ticket, I was driving so fast.”

“Really?” Louis asked, motioning to his glass so Harry could pour him some as well.

The wind started to pick up more and more, but it felt nice, it cooled him off. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I was so scared, and angry at the same time. Not at Hunter, but at everything else. But I was mostly scared.”

Louis took a sip, licking the corners of his lips. “I think I got into one fight my whole school career.”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

He nodded. “Yup. It was during senior year, and this kid from a completely different school came over just to fight me. I don’t even remember why we fought, but I almost couldn’t graduate.”

“Shit.” 

“Yeah,” he shrugged, smiling at Harry. “But I was a shitty student. Like I said, I barely went to school. I graduated, though, and even went to college.”

“S’nice. I didn’t go to college, but I went to community college and got my associate’s. I had Hunter at nineteen, and even before that, I just wasn’t motivated to do anything after high school.” He paused, looking down at his half-empty glass of wine. “For a second, and only a second, I thought about going into the military.”

He didn’t really _think_ about it, per se, but his dad did push him to the point where he had the papers, talked to the recruiters, and he felt scared enough that if he didn’t do it things would go south real quick, and he wouldn’t be able to come back from that. And then, he got Ellie pregnant, and then he had Hunter, and then Ellie left, and then it was just Hunter and him. His mom was the one who pushed for him to go to community college, saying they would pay for it. So, he went. He remembered thinking every day while he sat in class how happy he was that he wasn’t wearing camo and sitting somewhere on the other side of the world terrorizing innocent people. He would always be happy that Ellie came into his life the time that she did, and he hoped that she was out there somewhere, happy. He wanted her to be happy and content, it was why he encouraged her to leave.

“Wow, I can’t see you with a buzz cut giving out orders.” Louis frowned, his nose scrunching up. “Nah, I can’t see it.”

Harry huffed out a laugh, “Yeah, it was mostly my dad pushing me. Glad Hunter came at the time that he did.” He knew that if he would’ve signed those papers a month before he met Ellie instead of stalling he would have turned out just like his dad. He had so much pent up anger then, and still kinda did now, but he had so much rage. 

“Well, that’s good, I guess. If you were in the military and we ever crossed paths, I would have hated you.” Louis bumped his shoulder, scooting closer.

Harry smiled. “I would have hated me too.”

They each drank some more and Harry didn’t notice the way Louis’ eyes never left his face. It wasn’t until he turned to look at him that he realized what that meant. Suddenly, Louis’ lips were on his and they were moving.

Harry moved his lips, clenched his eyes closed, but his mind caught up and he was quickly pulling away and wiping at his lips. He stood, and then Louis stood as well, muttering out apologies.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Louis said, he hesitated for a moment. “Are you… into guys?” 

Harry didn’t say anything, just looked away, putting distance between them. “I…” he tried. “I’m not…”

“ _Oh_. Shit, fuck. _Fuck_ I’m sorry. I’ll go,” He heard the leaves crunching beneath Louis’ shoes, heard his keys jiggle, his car starting and the crunch of the pavement as his car backed out of the driveway and down the street.

+

Things didn’t go back to normal after that.

They didn’t talk for a while, Louis and him, and they did their best to avoid each other. It was the way things naturally progressed, but there were little texts between them here and there. Simple questions about how to do an intricate plait or a quick _‘how are you?’_ , the responses always being short _‘great’_ or _‘okay’_ or _‘fine u?’_. Never leaving it wide open for a full-blown conversation. 

It was uncomfortable in a way his friendship with Louis had never been before. They never had a period where they weren’t always talking, and even when they’d just met it was never this awkward or stilled. Harry may have been hesitant, but Louis wasn’t, and after that, he was. Harry could tell by the way he was always the one to initiate the conversation, always trying to elicit a response from Harry that wasn’t just one word. He stopped trying after a while and they didn't talk or text for a week. Until, that is, Harry randomly had to ask Louis a question about lawn care that couldn’t be easily Google-able. 

That happened towards the end of March and it scared him how much he’d missed talking to Louis. Instead of texting back, he called, and it shocked Harry, but he picked up and let Louis talk him through fixing his lawnmower and sulked when he told him he’d probably need a new one soon and that he could borrow his if he wanted. He declined, and then it was silent for some time. Then, Harry got the lawnmower to start working again and that was that. They hung up soon after, Harry texted him a thank you,Louis sent back a heart emoji and Harry closed his phone with a frown at the feeling that erupted in his lower stomach. 

The thing was he could handle his attraction to Louis. He could hang around him just fine, watch the way he carried himself and the jokes he made, and still feel comfortable around him. But now that Louis had initiated something between them, things were the way they were. And Harry wasn’t stupid, he knew growing up that he wasn’t into girls, but he also wasn’t stupid enough to ever act on his attraction to boys.

His dad, though, he thought his dad had his suspensions, but him getting Ellie pregnant squashed that. And just because he knew about his budding attractions, it didn’t mean he had ever been comfortable about it all. Plus, he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Louis. It meant more to him than anything. And he knew that those feelings, whatever they were, were only going to make things end badly for the both of them if he acted on them. So, he kept his distance and put his focus on his relationship with his son.

Hunter was still getting shit at school, apparently. James was a part of the football team, and because of the fight that they had, he’d been suspended for the season. Which meant the whole school or anyone who cared about the football team hated him. At least that was the way Hunter had put it. Harry looked them up and they weren’t that good.

The principal and vic principal gave Harry their word nothing would ever happen to his son ever again. According to Hunter, that promise had already been broken, and he kept getting papers and other school supplies thrown at him. In hallways, in the classroom, especially at lunch. Harry tried his best to be there for him, and he told him that if he wanted to, he could be homeschooled the next school year but he never said anything back to that. He was becoming more and more withdrawn, and it pained Harry to see his baby so upset and down every day. 

He considered pulling him out, and he almost called Louis to consult him on it, but realized halfway through dialing his number that they didn’t do that anymore.

So, he did his best to remind Hunter that he only had a few short months left and that in April they’d be taking a trip to go to his uncle's wedding and that his Spring break would be a lot earlier and longer than other kids’. It cheered him up for a bit, but Harry didn’t know whether he was just doing that to please him or if he was actually happy about it.

Speaking of the wedding, the second to last week in March, Harry got a short phone call from Dylan asking for his and Hunter’s measurements. He told him he’d text them to him the next day.

Thinking it was the end of that, Harry started to say his goodbyes, but Dylan stopped him. 

He cleared his throat. “I know we don’t really talk all that much and I know that I’ve been a bit shitty to you. And I’m sorry about all that. But you’re still my brother and I feel like it would be weird and wrong to ask anyone else this but, uhh. Will you be my best man?”

Harry paused what he was doing. He was on his lunch break, sitting alone in his car eating a sandwich, watching people and coming up with little stories about them in his head. He was on the other side of this country and his son was at school facing all sorts of challenges he didn’t want any help with. His only friend, one that he cared about so much, they weren’t on speaking terms right now. He hadn’t talked to his mother or sister in months, and before Dylan just called, he hadn’t spoken to him in over a year. They had a falling out, over their Mom, of course, and nasty things were said. And he had just asked Harry to be his best man.

“Are you sure?” Tears welled up in his eyes and he sniffled, not caring if Dylan knew he was crying.

“Fuck, dude,” he said. “Of course, I’m sure. You think I was going to ask Rory to be my best man?” 

Harry had no idea who Rory even was. “Wow, okay. _Okay_ , is there anything I have to do? Do I give a speech or anything?”

Dylan laughed. “Yeah, you have to give a speech. You would be doing a lot more, but you don’t live here. We aren’t doing like, a dance or anything, a first dance, yeah, but not a choreographed one with all my groomsmen.” He said. “You’re going to be walking down the aisle with Vanessa, she’s Melissa’s maid of honor. You’ll meet her at the rehearsal dinner.”

Harry shook his head in disbelief, wiping the tears that fell. “Okay, well that makes me a whole lot happier about my sitting arrangement.” 

Dylan laughed at that, and they talked some more before he had to go. “Gotta check out the venue for the thousandth time. Melissa keeps dragging me there to make sure it looks perfect.”

Harry went back to work feeling happier than he had been in a while. Something still felt like it was missing, and he knew exactly what it was.

+

Packing to go on a trip across the country wasn’t as exciting to Harry as it was for Hunter. He, of course, made sure to triple check everything Hunter packed and made sure to throw in some nice button-downs and two pairs of the new slacks he’d just bought him for the rehearsal dinner. Hunter was over the moon, and it was the most emotion he’d shown in such a long time. Harry didn’t want to ruin his mood with the way he felt.

They packed two weeks before and Harry received the plane tickets Dylan bought them a week after that. It made the trip seem all too real and, having never been on a plane before, Harry started to freak himself out a little bit. He tried to be rational and tell himself that driving to California would take too long and there was no way his car would even make it halfway.

So they packed, and in between packing, Harry worked. He tried to go the extra mile, seeing as he’d called off for a few days, and he wanted to come back with his job still there. Hunter still wasn’t doing better in school, but he told Harry they backed off him a little and were going back to ignoring him.

At the last minute, Harry asked his neighbor, who he knew had a cat, to watch Belle for a few days. Having never talked with his neighbors before, it was a little bit uncomfortable asking a stranger, but Linda said yes, and he dropped Belle off with a pat and kiss on the head. He wanted to ask Louis, but he didn’t think with the way things were it would be okay to ask.

The situation between Louis and him still hadn’t been resolved, and they talked less and less. And with the wedding coming up and him having to see some of his extended family all in one place, who would no doubt dredge up memories about his dear old dead dad (may he never rest in peace), Harry just wished he had someone to talk to about all this. 

He didn’t feel comfortable enough info dumping all of this onto Louis’ lap and then just going back to not speaking again. He knew that it would make a lot of sense if Louis knew everything, at least in the way he had spoken about his family in the past and how he never visited them or barely even talked about them. If anything, he needed a therapist, but he didn’t have the time for that or the balls to actually go and see one. Telling Hunter was out of the question, he already had enough on his plate and didn’t need to know all about that just yet. One day, he would, just not at that moment. Soon, maybe.

Harry ended up calling Louis three days before they were supposed to be on the flight. It was a Saturday, so he knew Louis didn't have work, and that there was a possibility Avery was at her grandparent’s house.

Louis, of course, picked up on the third ring. “Harry?” He said.

“Yeah, I just…” He tried to think about what he wanted to say. He wanted to say that he’s sorry, so he does. “I’m sorry,” And he wanted to say that he misses Louis, so he does. “I miss you.” And he wanted to tell him that he was a big idiot and he wanted to go back to the way things were before, so he does. “Fuck, Louis. I just, I hate how complicated things got between us and I’m sorry for being such a tool—”

“Can we… I don’t want to do this over the phone. Can we meet somewhere? It’s nice out.”

Harry glanced out the window, it was nice out. “Okay, how about that café we went to, is it open?”

Louis hummed. “It should be. I’ll be there in five. I’m not too far away, actually.”

Harry nodded. “I’ll be there in ten.”

They hung up. Harry quickly hopped in the shower and got ready. He threw on some jeans, a t-shirt and a colorful sweater. He had no idea how it had ended up in his closet, but it was clean and he needed to do laundry later on. 

He arrived at the café in just under ten minutes. Barely anyone was there, most people opting to sit inside, but Louis was sitting at a table with two glasses of water in front of him.

“Hi,” Harry said, standing in front of Louis.

Louis stood, said hi back, and they hugged briefly. It was stilled and too formal, but it was also the first time they were seeing each other in weeks. 

They sat and Louis passed him the water. “So,” he started. “What was that about you being a tool again?” He was smiling. He had a nice healthy scruff going on and his hair was a bit shorter too. 

Harry gazed down at the table smiling. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I fucked up our friendship,” he looked up at a frowning Louis.

“You didn’t fuck up anything. If anything, I did. I didn’t know you weren’t gay.” Louis shrugged while Harry did his best not to flinch at that word. “I’m sorry, too.”

Harry shook his head. “You literally have nothing to be sorry for, though. I shouldn’t have been so distant after.”

Louis nodded, pouting, and looking down at his drink. A bee buzzed by. “You want to know what I thought?” Harry nodded. “I thought that was it. That slowly we wouldn’t talk anymore and then we’d go back to being strangers.”

“I don’t want that,” Harry said hastily. “I want to go back to how it was before.”

Louis blinked quickly, clearing his throat and fiddling with his hands. He looked like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was. “Alright, we could do that.” His voice had no affliction in it, and Harry wanted to prompt him to just say what he wanted to say, but he didn’t know if he was ready to hear it. “So, what’s been going on with you?” Louis, always the master at changing the subject.

Harry blew out a breath. “Well, in three days I’m traveling to California with Hunter to go to my brother’s wedding.”

Louis stared at him with wide eyes. “Wow, that’s great. I think. You don’t seem too excited.”

Harry blew out a breath, looking around and then down at his fingers where he was fiddling with them nervously. Spring in Piemouth was absolutely picturesque. It was insane, like a freaking Pinterest mood board. “My family is really, _really_ complicated.”

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Louis said. “I understand, my real dad fucked off when I was two and now I’m pretty sure I have a bunch of half little brothers and sisters around the country. And my older sister had a kid, didn’t want her, and then just gave her to me like it was nothing and fucked off to wherever she is now, and now Avery’s got a little brother.” Louis sighed. “And we didn’t grow up well off, and the only reason I went to college is because of a scholarship I applied for on a whim. Also, pretty sure I’m not related to my granddad at all, and my grandma was adopted. What I’m trying to say is that I know all about how complicated family is.”

Harry really appreciated the info dump, it actually made him a lot less apprehensive to say what he had to say. He took a sip of his water, clearing his throat. “Uhh, so you know how my dad was in the military, or how I mentioned that he was?”

Louis nodded.

Harry took a deep breath, picking at a hangnail. “Well, the military fucked his brain up. But, I don’t know, I think he was always like that. Umm, well he was really abusive. It was like he was a drill sergeant, if that makes sense? He was distant, but at the same time he would micromanage everything we did, and we were never enough in his eyes. And I think he might have had PTSD, but I don’t know. It’s still no excuse for punching holes in the walls, beating your kids and screaming at my mom at three in the morning.” Harry closed his eyes, clenching and unclenching his jaw. “It was so bad,” he whispered. “Like _so bad,_ Louis. I don’t even when I got older, it was still so bad. The only peace we got was when he died, or even before that when I left.”

“Wow, fuck. Harry. I’m…” He shook his head in disbelief. “I’m so sorry that you and your family went through that.”

Harry huffed out a laugh, opening his eyes. “Honestly, the reason why I hate going back ‘home’. I don’t think of California as home, really. We moved around so much, I didn’t see any place we went as home, ‘cept Michigan and here. But, whenever I was around my dad’s family, they loved to act like he was some hero and like he never did anything bad when I know they knew what he was doing to us. Like, obviously, I’m not putting blame on them for not helping, because that’s a tough situation. But they sat there and acted like he did nothing wrong. On top of the constant questions about Hunter’s mom,” 

Not once did he look at Louis, he just continued to pick at the hangnail. “Back when I used to live with my parents, we’d go to church every Sunday. It was mandatory, even though we weren’t even religious. My dad would make us go, and what he said was law, so we went. I met Ellie, Hunter’s mom, when I was eighteen. She grew up in a similar way, her dad was in the military and he was retired just like my dad was. He’d make me go to these young adult youth meetings, I don’t even know why, but if I didn’t go… Long story short, I met Ellie there, we never even really talked to each other. But the church was having this party, someone spiked the punch, which was pretty funny at the time and we ended up having sex in the back of my parent’s car. She got pregnant, they pushed for us to get married, but Ellie put her foot down. I was too spineless to say no to my dad, so Ellie did it all for me. A day after Hunter was born, she told me she had to go, that she couldn’t stay there and be a mom and live this life. I told her to go, and the day she was discharged from the hospital, a friend of hers picked her up, and then it has just been me and Hunter ever since.”

Harry finally glanced up at Louis. It was the first time he’d ever talked about it with anyone, not even his own family, who literally would do anything but talk about what happened to them. His own mom still glorified him, but Harry didn’t blame her. She was as much a victim as the rest of them. It still made him insanely mad.

“That’s…” Louis shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know what to say. I feel like whatever I say won’t be enough.”

Harry smiled, it was honest and genuine. “You being here and listening is enough. Even if I didn’t make complete sense. It’s why I don’t talk about my family all that much, and why I kept saying I didn’t do anything rebellious when I was younger and that I was a loner. I had Dylan and Gemma, but they were older than me, and fighting their own battles.” Harry shrugged. “Sorry for info-dumping all that on you, but at least, I hope it clears a lot of things up about me. I have a lot of shit to work through, as you can see.” He tried to laugh it off, but Louis didn't laugh.

“You were never a mystery to me, Harry.” He said. “I sorta figured you had things going on with your family, but I never wanted to push you to tell me or anything. When you said all those things about how you used to be a loner, for example, I just thought you probably had really strict parents.”

“Yeah, but it still felt good to tell you. Before meeting you, I’d think about it all the time. Like, I’d just reminisce on it, that sounds weird, but I would. And with the wedding coming up, and the whole thing with Hunter. Oh, and Belle had to have surgery because she’s been swallowing pennies. I missed talking to you about everything, and talking to you in general.”

Louis smiled, scratching at his beard. “I really missed you, too.”

Harry nodded. “Can we go back to how things were? Before things got all weird and complicated?”

Louis nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good, cause I can’t do this without you.”

He gave Harry a look. “What without me?”

“Live,” Harry whispers. “As dramatic as that sounds. Your friendship means the world to me, I think you’re my first friend ever. Or first adult friend, which nobody prepares you for how hard it is to make adult friends!”

Louis laughed. “It is hard, but with you it’s easy.”

Harry smiled, “It’s easy for me too.”

+

Harry’s time in California was the longest he’d ever stayed in one place at a time. 

He thought that, at some point, his parents realized that going from state to state, from city to city, from house to house wasn’t the way to live. Harry thought that all his life they were chasing something, and he still hadn’t figured out what that was. He always thought that because his dad was in the military that was why they moved around a lot, but it turned out that when he was four his dad was discharged, honorably, and from there on out things had gotten a little sticky. See, his dad didn’t want to stop moving around, and his anger issues were starting to become a problem, and his mom was trying to do anything to keep him calm. So they moved, and moved, and moved. And they moved to Piemouth, which Harry used to think was the longest place they’d ever stayed in, and it was for some time until they moved to a town in Northern California called Makome when he was fourteen.

Stepping off the plane in a major city just ten minutes from the town where the wedding would take place, Hunter looked around with wide eyes, not remembering when they used to live here and moved just after he turned four.

Harry’s stomach immediately started churning, and he resisted the urge to call Louis, but he did text him they made it while he got their luggage. It was hot, not terribly so but something he wasn't used to on an April day in either Michigan or Indiana.The three hour time difference between home and there shouldn't have shaken him up as much as it did, but it was eight in the morning, and at home, it was eleven and he’d be at work, slouching over his desk.

Harry called Dylan two times, but he didn’t answer. So, he had to call his mom to figure out where they went from there. They were standing outside in the front, and Harry had to tell Hunter not to wander off too far.

“Hello?” She answered, there was music softly playing in the background.

“Hi, mom. We just got off the plane and we got our things. Dylan isn’t answering, and I don’t know where to go from here.” He said.

“Oh, not to worry, love! I am on my way! It’s a lot more traffic up here than I thought, but I’m about five minutes away.” She said.

Harry glowered, but he didn't say anything to that. They hung up after saying their goodbyes, and Harry turned to an excited Hunter.

“So,” he pulled him in for a hug and kissed the top of his head, much to Hunter’s annoyance. “You are about to meet your grandmother for the first time that isn’t over the phone or that random Skype calls she used to like doing when you were younger.”

Hunter nodded. “Cool.”

Harry sighed. “ _Cool_. So how are you liking California so far?”

He got a big smile on his face, his barely-there dimples making an appearance. “It’s nice, the weather is better than Michigan and Piemouth combined. It’s a lot different though than I thought it would be.”

Harry laughed. “Oh, yeah,? What’s so different about this place?”

He hummed. “There aren't a lot of palm trees everywhere, just regular trees.”

Harry burst out laughing and didn’t stop until his mom was pulling up two minutes later. Harry put their luggage in the trunk and climbed in the front seat of the truck. His mom was all smiles when he got in. She had these big black sunglasses on, a flimsy hat and large silver earrings. She looked happier than she’d ever been, and Harry was glad that his dad wasn’t here to take that away from her.

“Oh, my goodness! Look at my grandbaby! You’ve gotten so, so big!” She yelled, pulling out of the pickup area. Harry was glad this car ride wouldn’t be too long, but the traffic here had always been horrible so he wouldn’t hold his breath. “You are so beautiful, you look just like your dad! Which means you look just like me.” She glanced back and forth at Hunter through her front mirror with a big smile on her face.

Harry looked back to see him blushing, letting out little thank yous and keeping his gaze towards the window.

She didn’t say anything to him until they were five minutes away. Harry checked on his phone to make sure, since she was never good at directions She was mostly tried getting Hunter to open up more to her about his interests, how he was doing in school and what video games he liked to play. It was nice, for the attention not to be on him for once. But he knew Hunter would start to get snappy soon until he was left alone. And he thought his mom could tell too, because she finally peered at him briefly for the first time since he’d been in the car. 

“Hello, my love.” She said to him. “How have you been?”

“I've been good. We both have,” he replied.

She gave him a look, before turning back to look at the road.

“I’m being honest.”

“Well, that’s great. _Oh_ , I just can’t wait for the wedding!” She clapped her hands twice. “It’s just going to be so _perfect_.” She looked at Harry, her smile wide, the sun shining brightly on her face. 

He smiled. The rest of the ride to the hotel was quiet. It wasn’t a long ride, and soon Harry was checking them in at the front. It seemed that everyone who was attending the wedding was staying there, his mother told him. They put their luggage down in the middle of the room while his mom waited for them in the lobby. She offered to give them a tour of the place and, to Harry’s shock, Hunter agreed for them.

It was a nice room; Hunter had his own bed and space in a connected room with his own bathroom and Harry had his own space. They were only there for the week, the wedding was in two days, and the rehearsal dinner was tonight at seven. Apparently, he had missed the rehearsals the previous day, and the dinner had been postponed to that night because of the weather. They headed back down to the lobby and went on the tour with his mom. Even though Hunter had agreed for them, he remained quiet most of the time, snapping a few pictures here and there. 

The pool area toward the back was crowded and Harry could tell that there were some family members lounging around from the way his mom waved, jumped up and down, and then started dodging around furniture. Just before they reached a large group of people, Harry stopped her.

“We’re a bit jet-lagged, and I’m not really up for meeting a whole bunch of people.”

Her smile loosened, turning into a straight line. “But your Aunt Shelly wanted to meet Hunter. And Uncle Joey is here, too. You remember him, right?”

“Mom,” he said curtly. “Please, I’ll see them at the rehearsal dinner and the reception.”

She shook her head, sighing. “ _Fine_ , but it’s a shame you can’t even let your son meet his family. Or that you can’t even go over and say hello.”

“Because it’s never just hello. It’s the little jabs thrown at me and you that you have let slide since I was old enough to realize that half our family thinks they’re better than us. And the ass kissing your husband like he wasn’t a piece of shit.” He knew as soon as he said it that he was back on her shit list, and by the curl of her lip and the look she gave him, he knew he was either in for it or that she’d go back to ignoring his existence. 

“He was your _father_. You show him some respect.” She spat.

Harry rolled his eyes, the combination of the heat, all the people looking at them and his annoyance as this conversation continued making his head hurt. “Some father he was.”

She didn’t say anything, just shook her head and turned, briskly walking away from them. 

Harry glanced at Hunter to gauge his reaction. He was just staring at him, amused and more than likely confused.

“Do you want to go meet them?” Harry asked.

He shrugged. “Not if they think they’re better than us.”

Harry nodded. “Well, then I guess we’re not meeting them. You can do whatever as long as you stay in the hotel. They might have things for teens to do?”

“Uhh, I might take a nap and wait for the pool to be less crowded and then swim a little. But I don’t have any swim trunks.”

Harry ended up spending forty dollars on two pairs of swim trunks for the two of them. He took a nap, falling asleep as soon as his back hit the bed. When he woke up, it was almost thirty minutes past five and Hunter was gone. The rehearsal dinner was at seven and he really should call Hunter back to the room, but his finger slipped (it didn’t) and he called Louis.

“Hello?” Louis answered.

“Hi,” Harry replied.

Louis laughed. “ _Hi_ , how is the wedding?”

“The wedding isn’t until two days from now, but the rehearsal dinner is tonight at seven.”

He hummed in agreement. “So, I don’t know if I should ask, but how is the family?”

“It’s nice,” Harry said. “I got into a little spat with my mom about not wanting to meet relatives who have always treated us like we were dog shit.” He sounded bitter, he knew, but he wasn’t even that bitter, really. He expected this, expected to see people who he didn’t like, and expected to hear the same bullshit about this dad and he already knew the way his mom was going to act – like nothing ever happened and that his dad was a saint.

“It’s only a week.”

Harry huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, and then we’ll be back at my real home with you.”

“I… yeah,” Louis said, his voice barely above a whisper.

They stopped talking at around six and Harry called Hunter and told him to start wrapping up whatever he was doing because they had to leave in a minute. He hopped in the shower, enjoying the heat of the spray and the way the water beat down on his head. After getting out, Harry made a last minute decision to shave. Hunter came in just as he wiped away the excess shaving cream with a wet towel and scissors. 

“Give me a trim?” He asked. 

Harry nodded and took the scissors from him, sitting him down on the toilet lid and doing a pretty fine job at cutting his son's hair, if he did say so himself. 

By six thirty, Hunter was all dressed and ready to go, and by six forty-five, Harry was ready in his matching grey blazer. The dress code was casual, apparently, so Harry let Hunter wear whatever pants he wanted to wear that weren't sweatpants and threw some jeans on himself. 

His mother was waiting in the lobby for them, wearing a flowy white dress with big red and purple flower prints all over. Her jet black hair was up in a ponytail and she wasn’t wearing her big framed glasses. Her green eyes stared into his.

“Oh, Hunter.” She cried. “You look so handsome, my goodness. And you got yourself a little haircut! Who cut it?”

Hunter motioned to him. “Dad did.”

Harry puffed up his chest, running a hand through his son's hair. “I should have been a hairdresser.”

She nodded. “Maybe you should have. We’re going to be late, let us get going!”

The venue where the rehearsal dinner was being held nearly knocked Harry off his feet from how well decorated it was. They pulled up five minutes to six and Harry kind of had a feeling that the theme for the whole wedding would be rustic and earthy. Inside the venue, there were hundreds of fairy lights on the ceiling, flickering like lightning bugs. It reminded him of Louis’ house. Instead of actual round tables with chairs all around them, there were wooden benches with the name cards of the guests on them and a vase of white flowers in the middle of each table. On the walls, there were flowy white curtains that separated the outside from the inside, soft music playing gently in the background. 

Dylan and Melissa stood at the front of two pillars that gave the illusion that the outside and inside blended together. Dylan was wearing a black suit jacket and a pale blue tie that matched Melissa’s dress, his hair pulled up into an updo. They hugged as soon as they got into reaching distance, not letting go until someone cleared their throat behind them. Dylan kept his grip around his waist, looking at Harry with a smile. He pulled Harry in for another quick hug before pulling away, his arm going back around Melissa’s waist.

“Long time no see,” Dylan said, his smile looked more like a grimace, but that was just the way Dylan was. Harry knew he was happy to see him, and if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t be standing there right now.

Harry laughed. “Yeah. You look great, I’m happy for you, both of you.” He turned to Melissa with a smile. “Congratulations!”

Melissa smiled, her long brown hair falling in tight waves down her back. “Thank you, Harry. It’s so good to see you again. And to see little Hunter or _big_ Hunter! He’s all grown up!”

The attention turning to Hunter made his face grow red. He stared at his shoes and accepted a hug from Dylan and Melissa with a wry smile. 

“So,” Dylan motioned to him with his free hand, his other still around Melissa’s lower back. “How is Piemouth? I heard you moved back last year.”

“Yup,” Harry nodded. “I got a really good job opportunity in the city ten minutes from home and decided to take it. It’s been great.”

Always suspiciously curious, his mom asked. “So, have you met anyone?” She trailed off. Harry knew what she was implying, and it should make him a lot more irritated, but he brushed it off.

“Yeah, I met a friend. His name is Louis.” He countered, enjoying the annoyed look on her face. “And Hunter is doing great as well.”

Hunter snorted, but didn't say anything, and a second later, he excused himself to go find the table they were sitting at.

“Well, that’s great, honey.” His mom said, sounding strained. He knew she wanted to pry for more, and it would be well within her right as a mother, so no one would bat an eye at it. But Harry was glad she didn't take the bait and left it at that.

Dylan gave him a genuine smile. “That’s really great, Harry. We all miss you being out here. No, no, really,” He assured when Harry gave him a look. “We’ve all missed your presence, especially, me.” He sounded as genuine as he looked and Harry wasn’t used to that level of honesty from any of his family members. Maybe from Gemma, who was very blunt and honest, but never from Dylan.

Speaking of Gemma, she made her presence known to them fifteen minutes before the dinner started. She was wearing black jeans and a matching black blazer with a plain white t-shirt. There was a man trailing after her wearing almost the same things, but he was wearing slacks and a grey t-shirt. Gemma introduced him as Adam, her boyfriend, and gave Melissa a hug first before anyone else. 

“Hello!” She said, turning to Harry with a sigh and a shake of her head. “Long time no see!” She gave him a quick tight hug. 

Dylan laughed. “I said the same thing. All the siblings together, for the first time in years.” It was pointed, but Harry didn’t focus on it too much. He wanted to try and enjoy his night, and keep up the niceties even if he wasn’t saying all that much.

“It’s great to see you, Gem,” Harry said with his chin tucked in the space where her shoulder and neck met, his arms holding her tight around her waist.

They separated, and then the attention was turned onto Gemma.

“You’re glowing, love.” Their mother said, brushing Gemma’s hair off her shoulders and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Gemma scrunched up her nose. “Please, mother. The plane ride here was absolutely grueling.” She complained, shaking her head and her shoulders back and forth. “The wedding is in two days. How is the happy couple feeling?”

They took their seats a minute before the dinner started, Harry sitting at the same table with everyone he would be sitting with at the actual wedding. Just before it started, Dylan told him he was going to have to make a little speech after the main course had been served and, of course, Harry started to panic a little. It was fine when he knew he would have to give a speech on the wedding day during the reception, but he didn’t realize he would have to at the rehearsal dinner as well.

Hunter spent a lot of the dinner talking to everyone at the table, or rather, everyone at the table seemed very interested in getting to know more about him. He took it in strides, sometimes Harry answered for him when he glanced at him or when Harry could tell he was getting a bit annoyed with all the attention. 

After the main course had been served, which consisted of pan-fried salmon with asparagus and mashed potatoes and corn, it was time for people to start giving toasts. Their mother went first, of course, saying how happy she was for them and that she couldn’t wait to be a grandmother and welcome Melissa into her life permanently. Next, some of their friends made their toasts, and in between those, Gemma made one. Harry took his time, taking sips of his wine to loosen up and waiting for the right moment.

It happened after a very close friend of Melissa’s gave a very heartwarming toast, and there was a bit of a lag as everyone waited for the next person to go. Harry stood, taking a deep breath and trying not to focus on all the eyes that immediately zeroed in on him. If Louis were here, he would feel less jumpy about all of this.

“Growing up,” he started, “with Dylan as a brother I can honestly say there was never a dull moment.” That elicited a laugh out of everyone, even his mom. “I remember when I stole his watch, just because it was digital and I couldn’t read analog, which I still can’t, by the way, to be able to know when school was close to being over. I was about six at the time, and I ended up losing it and making Dylan so mad he decided he was going to get even. He was going to shave off one of my eyebrows, and it ended up taking 3 months to grow them back.”

Everyone laughed again. “But, enough about how he absolutely tormented me as a kid. I remember when I was first introduced to Melissa.” He turned to the couple, “And I remember the look on his face when he introduced us years ago and how happy and sure of himself he was. And years later, here they are, and I can honestly say I’m proud of him, even if it doesn’t mean much because I’m the little brother. But yeah, I’m happy for you, Dyls. And Melissa, of course. And I hope you have a great future together.” Harry raised his glass, and everyone followed his lead, “To Dylan and Melissa!” and they drank.

+

During the wedding, Harry didn’t cry. 

The whole day, he focused on Dylan and on his duty as the best man to get him ready and make sure he was there on time. As all the groomsmen stayed in a big room at the hotel to get ready, Harry took Hunter’s suit and gave it to his mom so she could make sure he got ready on time. 

The hotel room was mainly filled with Dylan’s friends and one of their cousins he hadn’t seen since he was eleven. Because he missed the rehearsal, they did a mock one just to make sure nothing would go awry and everything happened as it should. Harry would be walking the maid of honor, Vanessa, down the aisle after all the groomsmen and the bridesmaids walked. After the wedding, they would go and take pictures on a decorated field outside of the venue. Melissa would go and change and then they would all make an entrance at the reception.

“It’s not that hard,” one of Dylan’s friends, Anthony, told him as he put on his shoes. “Honestly, I’m just glad they aren’t making us do a whole choreographed dance. Melissa’s parents are too Christian for that, apparently.” He clasped his hands in mock prayer and stared up at the ceiling. “Thank Jesus for that.”

Harry laughed. “Amen.”

Getting Dylan dressed and keeping him entertained wasn’t the hard part, actually, there were no hard parts. Watching _The Hanger_ the previous night really distorted Harry’s views on how this whole thing was going to go down. They got Dylan to the venue with forty minutes to spare. They were immediately sent to the back room to wait for the wedding to start.

It was hot and incredibly humid back there. Harry texted Louis as much and immediately got a text back asking him to show him his suit. Harry got one of the guys to take it and sent it off to Louis. He looked a bit sweat,y but he was smiling, so that’s something.

Louis texted back, _‘Wow!’_

That caused Harry to flush, closing his phone. 

They joked around in the back, or rather Harry watched them all joke around with their little inside jokes he didn’t get and the endless harmless teasing Dylan got from everyone. Harry just observed, enjoying the moment.

Things started to go by quickly during the fifteen minute mark, when all the groomsmen were moved from the little room in the back and were placed next to the person they would be walking down the aisle with in the hallway outside of the wedding hall. 

Harry said a quiet ‘hi’ to Vanessa and she said hello back. The bridesmaid’s dresses were all a champagne pearl color with a hint of gold at the trim. Vanessa’s dress was the only off-the-shoulder dress, while all the other bridesmaid’s dresses were spaghetti-strapped. The groomsmen had little napkins shaped like roses on their shoulder pockets that matched the color of the women’s dresses. Harry, as the best man, had silver cufflinks with roses embroidered on them.

Dylan gave him a hug before he went in. Harry bid him good luck with a pat on the back, pulling back with his hands still gripping his brother's shoulder, he shook him a little and they hugged it out again before someone was pulling Dylan away.

The music swelled. Harry was last in line but, the second the music started, everyone in the hallway immediately quieted down. Then the doors opened, and one by one, each groomsman with their bridesmaid walked down the aisle. When it was Harry’s turn, they stalled for a minute until the last groomsman was standing at the front. Then, they were ushered by someone to start walking. Harry took Vanessa’s arm, linking them together, and they went.

Everyone sat for this part and a lot of people were taking pictures and videos. He spied his mom at the front, snapping a few with Hunter sitting next to her and Gemma on the other side of Hunter. The hall was decorated with white drapery hanging from the walls bellowing in the wind. There were clouds painted on the ceiling and someone was playing the violin in the corner. It wasn’t how Harry ever imagined Dylan getting married, seeing as Melissa’s family was very religious and would have wanted them to have the wedding at a church, but it was more beautiful than any way a church could have been decorated. 

He let go of Vanessa’s arm and stood just behind Dylan. The doors closed for a brief second, the flower girls skipping down the white carpeted aisle with golden roses falling out of their little hands. The person on the harp started to play solo and the doors opened. There, stood Melissa in a full lace wedding dress, a big bouquet of flowers in her hands with her veil behind her, falling to the floor. She was beautiful and she had a big smile on her face. Turning to look at Dylan, he matched her enthusiasm. When she made it down the aisle, her father let her go, and Dylan took her in his arms.

Their vows were lovely, and even before the priest announced that Dylan could kiss Melissa, they’d already locked lips much to everyone's delight. White balloons fell from the ceiling and everyone was clapping. Even Hunter was cheering with a smile on his face.

They each took their turn to leave after that, Dylan and Melissa going first, and then Harry and Vanessa, and then the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Outside, everything was bathed in golden sunlight, and apparently, they timed it so when everything was said and done, they would take their wedding photos during golden hour.

It was exhausting, but they got through it and into the venue where the reception was being held. It was decorated the same as the rehearsal dinner, but with more drapery and rustic accents. Throughout the whole thing, though, Harry tried to shut his brain off, but he couldn’t help but think about Louis. About how it would be nice for him to be here and see all this. He snapped a few pictures at the table and sent them off quickly before pocketing his phone. He gave his speech and didn't stumble over his words. 

The food was brought out along with special wine that he let Hunter have a very small sip of. Everything was going swimmingly, the newlyweds danced, they put on some early two thousand pop music that Harry actually recognized and enjoyed. Of course, some wayward family members came up to him to inquire about how he’d been, who he was seeing and things related to work. Harry took it all in stride, only once did he flinch at the mention of his dad, at the start of the reception, but he got better at nodding and smiling even when he felt dead inside. Harry was sipping on his wine and talking to Hunter about what he wanted to do while they were there when Gemma was motioning for him to follow her.

They went to a secluded corner in the room where no one was at. Dylan was there smoking, and upon seeing them, he smiled slightly and tried to pass the cigarette to Gemma, who shook her head.

“I quit a long time ago,” she said. They leaned against the wall together. The Styles siblings all huddled together in the corner of a crowded room like they were young again. It was a familiar sight.

Dylan huffed. “I saw you, a few months ago over Facetime.”

She shook her head, took it, and stomped it out. “ _No_ , I quit for a good five or six months ago. And even before that, I only did it socially.”

Harry snorted. “So he did see you a _few_ months ago.” 

Dylan laughed while Gemma playfully punched him on the arm. “Don’t be a smartass. Whatever,” she took in a deep breath, letting it out easily. “How have you been?”

Harry scrunched his nose. “Good? Why does everyone keep asking me that?”

“Well, seeing as you literally never talk to us or visit, we’re just a little curious, is all,” Gemma remarked, scratching at her bare arm. She was wearing a soft pink dress that puffed slightly at the waist and stopped just below her knees. And she was barefoot.

“You know why I don’t. Why it’s hard to come back here and act like—”

“You don’t think we get it? Like we don’t know you push us away?” Dylan asked rhetorically. “Try living here and having family visits and pretending like your dad wasn’t a piece of shit. Cousins, uncles, his sisters, and brothers just…” He closed his eyes, opening them slowly. “I shouldn’t be shocked that they didn’t care, they never did when we were younger.”

Gemma snorted, nodding her head towards their Aunt Mabel. “Remember when mom went to her for help when we were ten, or when I was ten, and she completely just brushed her off? Or when Uncle Jack told her she was blowing everything out of proportion and to not leave him? I think that was when I was around eight or nine.”

Dylan nodded. “Mom wanted me to invite all of them. If it was up to me, none of them would fucking be here. But she told me to let the past be the past and I told her ‘fuck that’. Melissa told me to just do it,”

Harry didn’t know what to say and the buzz in his pocket, that was undoubtedly from Louis, grounded him as he thought about the way they grew up. “Remember that one fourth of July, when he hadn’t hit either one of us in a month. And then the fireworks completely set him off.” He didn’t want to reminisce about his dad hurting them, but it was all he could think about in that moment. Their mother had used herself as a shield to protect them, and they drove away while he was fuming inside the house. They went to their closest relative, who was their dad's oldest sister. She let them stay for a day or two before telling them to leave. And, with nowhere else to go, they went back home.

“I remember when he would punch a hole in the wall right next to our heads,” Gemma said, shifting her jaw back and forth, something she did when she was trying not to get upset. “I remember this one night when Dylan and I snuck out during high school, just to go over to our friend’s house to get a good night's sleep.”

Harry didn’t say anything to that, if it was said a year ago, he would have been mad at them. But he understood, and he knew he would have done the same too.

Dylan huffed out a laugh. “God, we’re all so fucked up.”

They laughed, and without much thought, Harry blurted out. “I think I’m gay.” He didn’t think too much about why he suddenly said it and blamed it on the two glasses of wine he drank – lthough, truth be told, he was as sober as a whistle. “I…” He glanced at his bemused siblings.

“ _Okay_ ,” Gemma said. “And I’m having a baby.” That announcement completely overshadowed Harry’s, which he was thankful for.

“Fuck,” Harry whispered. “Holy shit, fuck the gay thing! Gemma, that’s great! Are you and Adam next or…?”

She quickly shook her head. “Fuck, _no_. I love Adam, but I just don't want to be that kind of commitment scares me.” She didn’t go any further than that, but Harry completely understood what she meant. Before they could talk some more, their mother came over with a confused smile.

“What’s going on over here?” she asked.

Gemma peered between the two of them and shrugged. “Nothing,”

“I’m gay,” Harry blurted out. He couldn’t seem to stop himself. They were all in hysterics.

“And I’m pregnant,” Gemma said.

Their mother nearly screamed, but she covered her mouth just as a squeal came out and focused her attention on Gemma. “You’re pregnant!” She yelled. 

Gemma nodded. “Can you keep it down? I’m trying not to upstage the bride on her wedding day.” Gemma nudged Dylan, who flipped her off.

She quickly nodded. Struck with shock, she turned to Harry. “A—and… _Gay_!”

Harry laughed, nodding with her. “Gay!” 

The rest of the night, Harry sat at the table and texted Louis, and by the time Dylan and Melissa left to immediately go to St. Lucia for their honeymoon, Harry was already making plans with him for when he got back. To catch up and maybe go out for drinks with some of Louis' friends.

Harry climbed into bed with his suit half off, falling asleep to the sound of the wind outside.

+

For the rest of the trip, they mostly drove around sightseeing. They ended up just staying longer at the hotel, even when his mother offered him a room at hers, and the last two days, they spent most of their time lounging around the pool or swimming at the beach a few miles away.

The flight home brought Harry a lot of peace. Seeing his family again, talking to his brother and sister, and effectively coming out to all of them was enough to make him exhausted the rest of their stay there. He mostly spent his time with Hunter or by himself. Dylan texted him little updates here and there, but it was sparse, as he spent time with his bride on their honeymoon. Gemma forced him to go out to lunch and dinner before he left, and it was a lot less nerve racking than he thought it would be. Truth be told, he expected all of them to be upset that he never came back home and that he probably planned on never coming back. Until Gemma had her baby, of course, then he would gladly fly on a plane again to go support her.

Instead, over dinner, Gemma told him that she understood and that there wasn’t any reason to be upset or hurt because it didn’t have anything to do with them. Before, Harry thought it did, but he knew that there were just too many things in California that reminded him of one of the most loneliest and hurtful times in his life. So, he made a promise to call more and Gemma told him to stop making promises he knew he wouldn’t keep. And that shut him right up. Silently, he agreed, but planned on keeping the promise to himself.

Back home, Harry called off for two days so he could catch up on sleep and properly rest his body. In California, for the few days he stayed there, he’d taken to starting his day at seven in the morning. And now that he was three hours ahead in time, even having just been home for a few hours it was already starting to take its toll on his body. Plus, he wasn’t as young as he used to be.

So, during the first weekend back at home, he nearly forgot that he had said yes to going out with Louis for drinks with a couple of his friends. He spent the rest of his three day work week working as hard as he could to make up for all that he missed while he was gone. By Friday evening, he was more tired than he was on Sunday, when they got home. But Louis called him Saturday afternoon while he was still in his Minnie Mouse pajamas, asking if he wanted to be picked up or if he was alright driving there alone. Harry told him he could drive alone and Louis sent him the address to the bar. 

He didn’t put a lot of effort into dressing up, just black jeans, a cute Powerpuff Girls t-shirt he found at a thrift shop back in California and a jean jacket he stole from Hunter.

The bar was a little packed when he got inside, and that was because there was a football game going on that seemed to have attracted every middle-aged man in this town. It was very woodsy and cabin-like – the floors were all dark hardwood that stuck to the bottom of his boots because of all the spilled beer. The walls were a light wood and there were pictures of fish and dogs and light-up beer signs on the wall. A taxidermy duck stood proudly in the corner with the bar's name hanging above it. _‘Ducky’s Tavern’,_ it read.

Harry gave the place a once over and spotted Louis and a group of guys as far away from the action as possible in a little booth. Harry ducked his head and headed over.

“Hello,” he said, his smile probably looked strained and forced, but that was only because it was. He didn’t want Louis' friends to hate him or anything, but he was a little apprehensive about being there.

Louis jumped up and pulled him into a hug. “Hello! I see you’ve got a tan now? Going all Hollywood on us, then?”

Harry shook his head with a laugh, inhaling the sweet scent of Louis’ cologne. They pulled away a second later. “No,” he huffed, playfully rolling his eyes. “Funny enough, I was born in New Jersey,” He didn’t know why he said it, and really it had nothing to do with what Louis had just asked.

But Louis smiled and laughed, putting an arm around his waist and motioning to his friends. “These jackasses over here are my friends. I’ve actually told you about them before. This is Niall, he’s Irish, don’t mind him.” He pointed to a guy with round glasses who held up his drink. “That’s Zayn, he’s from the UK.” Louis said in a horrible butchered English accent. “And that is Liam, he is from Florida, which might as well be a whole different planet.”

Liam pouted. “ _Hey_.”

Louis turned to Harry, his arm still fitting snugly around his waist. “And this is the _lovely_ Harold Styles.” Everyone at the booth started to clap and Harry immediately went red.

“My name is _Harry_ ,” he said.

Harry ended up sitting directly across from Louis, and a thick glass full of cold beer was immediately put in front of him. He took a small sip, letting the coldness cool him off. 

Louis hummed. “Technically, it’s the same thing. Harry is the one I’ve been telling you all about, the one with the son.”

Harry snorted. “Yup, that’s me. The one with the son.”

“Louis has had a lot to say about you.” Said Niall, already halfway down with his beer.

“All good things, I hope!” Harry said.

Niall pursed his lips. “Of course! He can’t go one conversation without bringing you up.”

“It’s actually kind of cute,” Liam said, leaning his head on Zayn’s shoulders.

Zayn laughed. “Has he said anything about us at all?”

Harry gazed at them and then at a wide-eyed Louis and shrugged. “He told me Niall does guitar lessons.”

“So he hasn’t told you the _real_ shit,” Zayn said over the brim of his beer.

“Uhh.”

Zayn lifted his hand. “It’s fine! Considering he just loves talking about you—”

“ _Oh, Harry said this! Oh, Harry said that!_ ” Liam mocked an unamused Louis. “ _Oh, Harry told this awful joke_ , his words not mine, _and it was actually pretty funny_.”

Harry could feel his face heating up by the minute. He hadn’t realized just how much he meant to Louis.

“God,” Niall moaned. “When you were away those few days, he just absolute _gushed—_ ”

“ _Alright!_ ” Louis laughed nervously. “That’s enough! They’re all just _mad_ I have a new best friend.” Louis knocked his foot against Harry’s, which startled him a bit, but he did give him a quick smile.

“It’s alright,” Harry said, still slowly sipping his beer while the rest of them were almost done with theirs. Because he drove, Harry didn’t want to get drunk tonight. The last time he drank to the point of intoxication, he ended up not speaking to Louis for weeks and almost ruining their friendship.

Niall started to talk about how he helped this rich kid named David over the weekends, and how strict and controlling his parents were. That started up a conversation about growing up, and ended with Louis talking about when he smoked weed for the first time.

“I was in college because I was too chicken shit to actually go through with it in high school. I don’t remember the night at all, just that my old college friend Greg scored it for us and we ended up high for hours. A year after that, I ate an edible and nearly got caught by our TA trying to get to the bathroom.” He said, on his second beer.

Harry noticed how he mostly focused his attention on him, directly turning to him at points and holding his gaze. He just thought that maybe the other guys heard this story already and he was telling it for his sake. “After college, I never really tried it again.” He shrugged.

Liam told a story next. “My first time was literally last year with Zayn. And we ended up fucking in front of the windows.” He said introspectively.

Harry nearly choked on his water, and Niall ended up having to pat him on the back to get the rest out of his throat.

Liam sulked, “Oh, was that a TMI thing? I thought we were all…”

Harry looked to Louis who quickly turned his gaze to the rest of them. “Harry isn’t—”

“I am,” He said after a split second. “Actually, I am.”

“ _Oh_.”

“Yeah.”

Niall, Liam, and Zayn glanced between themselves before Zayn started to talk about his first time smoking weed. Harry fixed his gaze onto Zayn, making quick glances towards Louis when he saw the frown on his face. 

He stayed quiet throughout the night and ended up having to carry Liam to his and Zayn’s car. “He’s always been a lightweight,” Zayn explained with a kiss to Liam’s temple and a promise that he’d see him again sometime soon if Louis stopped hogging him.

Harry laughed, although it was a bit strange, and waved them off as he put the car in drive and headed out of the parking lot. Harry turned to go to his car and saw Louis standing on the side of the building under a lamp, smoking. He wanted to just walk past, but he knew it would be rude and he could sense that Louis might be a little annoyed with him.

“Hi,” he murmured, kicking some rocks that skipped across the paved parking lot. It was a bit cold out, so Harry wrapped his little jacket tighter around him.

“Hey,” Louis replied, snuffing out his cigarette with his shoe. “I quit a while back when Avery came into my life.” He said. “But, sometimes… sometimes I still do it.”

“I understand.” He said.

“You have fun tonight?” Louis asked, staring down at his shoes.

Harry nodded truthfully. “Yeah, I really did. I’ve never gone out for drinks before with anyone. But they’re all good people, really good company.”

Louis huffed out a laugh, kicking his foot out. “You just like them because they make fun of me, _effectively_.”

Harry groaned. “Whatever! I know how to tease you just fine, _Tommo_.”

“Shut up,” Louis pushed at his shoulders, and Harry reached out and grabbed a hold of his forearms, steadying himself against the smooth black pavement.

The buzzing of night flies overhead as they smacked into the light above. There was no one around them, and when Louis leaned in to kiss him, Harry let it happen. They kissed lazily, Harry enjoying the taste of beer and spearmint gum on Louis’ tongue for a few seconds before his thoughts caught up to him, and he was moving away. Already down the street, ignoring Louis as he called his name. The tingly sensation on his lips stayed with him the whole ride home.

+

Harry didn’t mind his job, he actually enjoyed the stability it gave him and the security that came with it that he was desperately seeking just a year ago. It was just that sitting at a desk in a cubicle surrounded by other cubicles hours out of his day was not how he wanted to spend his time in his thirties. 

So, when the offer came from another job that prided itself on having their employees be innovative and foster a creative workspace, Harry couldn’t help but want to check it out. He also couldn’t help that he texted Louis, wanting to know his thoughts on this. Ever since that night at the bar, they’d been pretending like it never even happened. Harry was better at it than Louis and made sure he put a healthy amount of distance between them. It was uncomfortable, but it was better than going without speaking to each other for weeks. 

“I dunno,” Harry pouted, staring down at his computer screen with his phone beside him on speaker. They texted back and forth for a little while and then Louis called him while he was on his lunch break. “I just feel like it would be a bad risk. The company I work for doesn’t rehire people a lot, and they could easily find someone to replace me.”

“Hmm, what are the pros, then?”

Harry squinted at the email. “The pay is a little better than my current job. It’s a little farther away though.”

“Focus on the positives, Harry.”

“Okay, sorry. Like I said, the pay seemed great, the work environment looks a _lot_ better than my current job. They have better vacation hours and I get more sick time off.” 

“Alright,” Louis said. “What are the cons?”

“Well it is a lot farther out. Like, it’s thirty minutes from my house, and that’s not counting the morning traffic. It’s a newer company, so, I don’t know, I would feel a lot older than the people there, and I’m a little under-qualified, to be honest.” Harry glanced at the email once more and sighed. “I just think that if I quit my job and go to this one, and I end up not liking it, I’m fucking _screwed_.”

Louis hummed. “But what if you end up loving it? Or just like it a lot better than your current job?” He paused, Harry could hear shuffling on the other end. “And what if there are people your age there? And they obviously don’t think you're under-qualified if they’re offering you the job.”

He didn’t think about it that way. “Oh, yeah. Fuck, Louis, literally this is the hardest decision of my freaking life!” He groaned. “I want to so badly, but if this ends up being a huge waste of time and I hate it, I’m going to be so pissed at myself.”

“Can you ask them if you could go in for a couple of days just to sus everything out and to see if you would like to take the position? Make sure you sound really interested and not conflicted, so they don’t think they’re wasting their time on you. But just ask.”

Harry started to type his draft as soon as the idea left Louis' mouth. “Ugh, Louis. I literally would have no idea where I would be without you right now. Thank you.”

“Of course, H. I’d…” He hesitated for a second. “I would help you with anything you need, just like you would help me.”

“Literally, thank you. Thank you!”

Louis had to go back to work shortly after that, and an hour later, Harry had the arrangement to come in on a normal workday for them to see how things would go and for an in person interview.

+

Harry got through the in person interview with flying colors and actually really enjoyed the work that they did there – even though it really was exactly what he did at his current job – and the way the office was set up. There were no stuffy small cubicles, and it was actually an open office. Each ‘pod’, as they called it, had six people in it, and each one was separated by thin colorful half walls that were completely see-through. It gave the illusion of privacy, his soon to be boss Jessica said, while also not feeling too closed off from the rest of his coworkers. The desks were a lot bigger than the ones at his current job, and honestly, everything just seemed to be refreshing and new. He talked to some of the people who worked there and they were all around his age or a bit younger or older. He even sat at one of the desks and did simple tasks that he would normally do there.

By the end of it, Harry accepted the offer to start in two weeks at the start of a new pay period. He decided to go for it, and if he truly ended up hating it after all of that, then he’d just hitch up his skirt and go beg for his old job back.

He texted Louis the good news, not knowing if he was at work or not, while he was in his car on his way to get Hunter from school. He usually wouldn’t go so early, but because it was farther away than his current job, and because he had no idea what the traffic would be like, he decided not to chance it. 

Louis texted him back a string of celebratory emojis and called him.

“Congratulations! I’m guessing you ended up liking it?” Louis said immediately after Harry hit answer.

Harry laughed. “Yes! I decided to take the plunge, and if I end up hating it, I’ll literally just beg for my old job back.”

“That’s the spirit! I’ve done my fair share of begging and groveling.”

“TMI, Louis.” Harry joked.

Louis clicked his tongue. “Hey, don’t be gross. So, was it really like how they told you it was? Did you talk to the people there?”

Harry made a quick turn onto the main street. “Yes and yes. The office is an open kind of situation, so I can actually see everyone and not be stuffed in a cubicle, Which I really love.”

“Of course you’d be the type to like open office floor plans.” Louis groaned.

“ _Hey_. It’s actually really nice, and until you’ve been working in a cubicle, I don’t want to hear it!” He shouted. “I talked to some of the people there when the boss, her name is Jessica, wasn’t around just to see how they really feel. And they said they liked it! The hours can be a bit shit though, but that’s because it’s a big company with a lot of people, but apparently, my offers may differ from others because of what I do? I don’t know yet, she's sending me over more information about all that today. But I’m so happy, Lou!”

“I’m really happy for you, Harry. You deserve this.”

Harry pouted. “Do you want to meet up tonight? I found this random bar ten minutes from here that looks nice.”

“Going to a bar on a Wednesday? I like the way you think, Styles. Just send me the location and when you want to go. I’ll take Avery to her grandparents.”

“We don’t have to if it’s too much.” He said. “It is in the middle of the week. I can wait until Saturday,” 

“No, no,” Louis said. “I actually have a birthday party to attend on Saturday, so today is good. _Promise_. Let's say we go at eight and get back at ten?”

“That sounds good!”

“Great! Well, I have to go.”

“Alright, see you. I’ll send you the location.”

+

The bar was called the _Aero Club_ , and they had to wait in a small queue outside. It was packed, and even from the outside, Harry could hear the live music coming from inside. He couldn’t really gauge the age of the people there – they seemed young, but at the same time, he spotted a woman who looked well into her forties going in with four of her friends.

Harry hopped in the queue before Louis got there to save them a spot. He decided to dress up a bit, and instead of wearing his favorite jeans, he was wearing these black trousers that made it look like he was wearing a skirt, and a plain black shirt. It started to get hot enough that wearing a jacket wasn’t needed, which he was grateful for, with it being the middle of May. 

Just as Louis arrived, wearing a peach sweater and light blue jeans. His hair was styled in a softly layered fringe instead of its usual updo. A woman his height started to flirt with him.

“Hello, I’m Shannon.” She held her hand out, waving her long blonde hair out of her face. 

Harry took it with a thin smile. “I’m Harry. S’nice to meet you.”

She giggled. “Sorry, there's a fly that seemed to like your hair.” She took her perfectly manicured fingers and fanned at his head. “There you go.”

Harry fake laughed. “Thank you.” 

Louis was looking at them awkwardly and he had to tell someone who thought he was cutting the line that his friend was waiting in line for him, pointing to Harry. 

“So, are you a regular here?” She blinked at him.

“Oh, no. This is my first time. I came with my friend,”

“Hi,” Louis held his hand out for her to take. “I’m his _friend_ , Louis.”

Shannon hesitantly took it, looking between them. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t know you were gay. I’m bi myself, actually.”

Before Harry could reply back, Louis said. “That’s great. Love to see other gays out and about.”

She laughed. “Same, but uhh. I have to head back up with my friends. It was nice talking to you both! You make a really cute couple.” And then she was gone.

“Couple?” Harry spluttered. “Why did she think we’re together?”

“Jeez, am I that terrible?” Louis sniffed at his shirt.

“No, that’s not what I meant. How did she think we’re together? Do we look like a couple?” Harry asked.

Louis put his arm around his waist, giving it a good squeeze. “Well, now we do.” He smirked.

Harry rolled his eyes affectionately.

The line started to speed up, and soon they had their own booth close to the bar. The place reminded him of the bar from New Girl, but a little more modern and a bit darker. 

“I guess they forgot to pay the light bill.” Harry joked, looking around.

Louis laughed. “That was actually funny.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Harry hip-checked him. “I can be hilarious. I could have been a comedian if I wanted to and if I didn’t have anxiety.”

Louis waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, and I would have sadly been in the first row at every show heckling you. So, what are we drinking to celebrate your new job?”

Harry thought about what drink he liked the most. Usually, he liked the fruity kinds that felt like you were drinking juice and not alcohol. So, he went with a margarita that tasted like watermelon with a shot on the side. Louis ordered a beer and teased him about his drink choice.

“ _Dick_ ,” Harry said playfully.

“Fuck off.” Louis laughed. “So when do you start?”

Harry took a sip of his drink, licking the salt off the rim. “I start in two weeks, I think. I still haven’t told my job I’m quitting. I'm actually scared too.”

Louis made a face, licking the foam off his top lip. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I just still feel like I’m making a mistake. And that I’m, I don’t know, biting off the hand that’s been feeding me.”

“Umm, first of all, your job doesn’t give a shit about you.” When Harry gave him a look, Louis started to explain further. “What I meant was that they could fire you and then hire someone else by the lunch hour. These big corporations are not loyal to you, so you shouldn’t be loyal to them either.”

Harry smiled. “Well, fuck. Thanks for the pep talk. I’ll talk to my boss tomorrow about it. At least, I won’t have to deal with this woman I work with who keeps flirting with me.” Harry went to take another sip of his drink, enjoying the way it instantly cooled him off.

“Ew, I hate when people do shit like that at work,” Louis said. He leaned over and pulled on one of Harry’s curls. “Your hair is getting a lot longer.” He tugged on another, gently, his knuckle brushing Harry’s cheek. Louis pulled away not a second later, face flushed.

“Yeah, been meaning to get a haircut. You should see Hunter.” 

Louis laughed. “I bet you look like twins. Avery loves having long hair and she told me she wanted my hair to be long with her but,” he pointed to his freshly cut hair. “Obviously, I couldn’t fully go through with it.”

“I like it like this, I dunno, this soft fringe thing. But I love it when you do it up. I literally don’t even do anything special to my hair,” Harry said.

“Oh, really?” Louis smirked, swiping at his fringe. “I’ll take that into consideration. And I would love to just hop out of bed with my hair already artfully done like you, but I actually wake up with a nest on my head.”

“Well, it must be a wonderful sight to wake up to.”

Louis nodded, eyes darting all over Harry’s face and then down to his beer. “It is,” he said.

Harry didn’t mean to get tipsy. Okay, he wasn’t really tipsy, but he was a little buzzed and he feared he was going to have to catch an Uber home if it even worked out here. So, he cooled it on the drinks an hour into their little celebration and started to sip on water to get his thoughts together.

He was thinking about dangerous things, like what it would feel like to wake up with a man’s body next to his equally naked one. What it would feel like to have a man on top of him, inside of him, their mouths on each other. Would it feel like to let himself go, to let himself be unraveled by him, taken apart slowly and then put back together with careful hands? He glanced at Louis, watched him smile and laugh and talk about something funny he said to Liam the other day. And he imagined Louis next to him in that bed, Louis taking him apart inch by inch, Louis’ mouth on his.

He could feel his face heating up, his trousers becoming tighter and the atmosphere of the place changing. There were two men kissing in a dark corner just across the room, and Harry had never seen two men kiss that wasn’t on TV. He looked away quickly, trying to focus on what Louis was saying, but he couldn’t help but focus on his pink liquor coated lips instead.

“You alright?” Louis asked, snapping him out of whatever trance he’d been in. 

He nodded. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just a little buzzed, that’s all.”

“Oh, well. We can go now if you want?”

Harry nodded again, afraid of where his thoughts would take him next if he lingered there any longer. He didn't want his night with Louis to be over, but he had work in the morning and he had to go in and quit and he'd rather not be hungover when he did it. 

Stepping out onto the sidewalk cooled Harry down instantly. He panicked for a moment because of how hard he was in his boxers that it might be noticeable. But it wasn’t, and Louis started walking in the direction of his car that just so happened to be parked next to Harry’s. 

Louis turned. “Do you want me to drive you home? I’m fine, but you said you were buzzed.”

“No no,” he shook his head. “I’m okay. Just a little lost in my thoughts, that’s all. The air out here is helping a lot.”

“You sure?” He didn’t look convinced, and it was probably because his face was flushed and he was standing in a way that he hoped his dick didn't show through his pants.

“I’m sure.”

They reached their cars and Harry sighed in relief. They stood in between them and Louis was saying something, but Harry wasn’t really listening. And then, Louis’ lips were on his and the rest of the world melted away. It was slow, in a way you wouldn’t think a heated kiss in a parking lot five feet away from a bar with a hard on would be. But it really was slow, and Louis tasted like strawberries, and he hoped that he tasted like watermelons. They kissed for a while, and Louis had him pinned against his truck, his hands on his waist squeezing in a way Harry never knew he liked.

It occurred to him how new this was for him. He hadn’t been intimate with anyone since Hunter’s conception, and he was drunk out of his mind during that. And it also occurred to him just how much the idea of kissing a man and being with a man made him weak in the knees. He always thought that, later in life, he’d find someone, a woman, or he’d find no one and be content with being alone. But the possibility of being with a man and loving a man had him on cloud nine. It put things in perspective for him, even though Harry had always known he batted for the other team, and he’d effectively come out to this family on a whim, it was still a lot to come to terms to. But it felt like coming home and kissing Louis felt like love.

They broke apart when a car’s alarm started going off. No one was paying them any attention, and it made Harry a lot more relieved than he should’ve been.

“Harry,” Louis breathed, lips swollen and shiny with spit. “We should—”

“I have to go,” Harry said, wrestling with his keys and then climbing into his car. He stared straight ahead, chest heaving, trying to get as much oxygen into his lungs as he could. He was very aware that Louis was still standing there, and he made the mistake of looking at him just as he started his car. He looked dejected and angry and sad and annoyed and all of the things he shouldn’t feel, shouldn’t be. He should be happy, always. And Harry was the one who made him like that. 

He put the car in reverse, making sure no one was behind him and then he was driving away after making sure Louis got in his car. The ride home was silent, and he crawled into bed feeling angry and confused at himself.

+

That feeling didn’t go away in the coming weeks. 

The very next morning, Harry woke up already wanting the day to be over. He had two texts from Louis, one wondering if he made it home alright and the other wishing him good luck today. He didn’t reply to either one, but because he had read receipts on, Louis was going to know he saw it and didn’t reply back. It put his stomach in knots, and he nearly snapped at Hunter in the car on the way to his school. That made him feel sicker, that he almost took his anger and frustration he had for himself out on his son. He gave him a kiss on the head and a hug before he left the car, promising that they’d go out to eat this weekend.

On the way to work, his anger started to dissipate and Gemma called him from the hospital, where he got to hear his niece or nephew’s heartbeat for the first time. He cried before he went into the office, and they ended the call shortly after that, both weepy. 

His boss, Sandra, actually took it well that he was leaving and told him that he always had a place at the company if he ever wanted to come back. It filled him with so much relief that he didn’t even feel bad when he packed up his desk and left. She even promised that he’d still be getting his next paycheck and told him he was one of her hardest workers there, even when he took a lot of days off last quarter. He knew it was probably because she found him attractive, and didn’t hold back on making it known, but at least if shit went south, he would still have a position at his old job.

Harry headed home on cloud nine, his kiss with Louis and the devastated look on his face momentarily forgotten. He texted Louis saying it went well, and like every other time they’d kissed, they went on to ignore that it ever happened.

Hunter’s school let out for summer break the following week and the heat that hit Piemouth had him replacing the air conditioners in the three rooms in their house with new ones. One for the living room, one for Hunter’s room and another for his room.

When Hunter began to question him about his mother on a random Sunday, it surprised him.

Harry had been lounging around on the couch stuffing little chocolates in his mouth while watching Friends. Hunter came out of his room for the first time all day. Harry should have noticed the confused look on his face, the way he appeared like he was caving in on himself, how just two weeks prior he hinted at wanting to talk about this. But he didn’t.

“Dad?”

Harry glanced up at him with a smile, still oblivious. “Yeah, do you want one? They’re really freaking good,” he popped another one into his mouth. He got them at the store a few days ago on a whim when he had been craving chocolate.

Hunter groaned, rolling his eyes. “I’ve been talking to grandma…” That had Harry sitting up. “And I asked her some things and she told me to ask you.”

“When did you start talking to her?” He didn’t mean to sound confrontational, but that’s how it came out. And it made Hunter shrink even more.

“After the wedding.” He looked conflicted, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. “So, I wanted to ask about my mom.”

“ _Hunter—_ ”

“ _And_ I want to know about her, where she is and why she left me. I mean, us,” he said it so bluntly and fast like he’d been rehearsing what he was going to say to him. He had this look on his face he always got when he wanted something really bad, he pouted his lips and furrowed his eyebrows and clenched his jaw so tight Harry knew he’d be complaining about it later.

Harry turned the TV off, scooting over so Hunter could sit down. He motioned for him too. He’d honestly been expecting this sooner or later, so it shouldn’t have thrown him off as much as it did. “Well, her name was Ellie. Ellie Maria Powell. I tried looking on Facebook, but I couldn’t find her, just a FYI, if you wanted to try. I don’t think she wanted to be found.” 

Hunter frowned, his lip quivered a bit, and it broke Harry’s heart.

“I don’t want you to think that she hated me or hated you or just didn’t want you, because she did want you. Just…” Harry sighed, if he was going to tell him about Ellie, he might as well just tell him about it all. “What did grandma tell you?”

Hunter sighed, sinking back into the couch, fiddling with his thumbs. “She said that she really really loves you and wishes we still lived close to her. She also said that grandpa wasn’t a good person, and that she feels guilty that she still loves him. I asked her why he was bad, but she didn’t say. She said it’s not good to talk shit– sorry, about the dead. I then asked about Ellie and she told me to ask you. And then we started talking about some TV show she likes to watch and I taught her to send photos on the phone Aunt Gemma bought her.”

Harry nodded in agreement to everything he said. “Well, she’s right about grandpa, my dad. He was… he was abusive. Physically abusive to me, uncle Dylan, aunt Gemma and grandma. Being in the military really messed him up, but I think even before he went, he was a bad person. So, growing up I was very quiet and shy and very withdrawn because of the abuse I suffered. You know how I can be, a little anxious right?”

Hunter nodded.

“So, we used to move around a lot, and for a while, or a really short while for me because I was the youngest, it was because he was in the military. But he got discharged and we still kept moving around because he was so used to it, and he loved it, and he loved the military, and he wanted to keep that part of it., you know a lot of my dad’s family live in California, and that grandma and Aunt Gemma and Uncle Dylan live there? Well, you know, but I used to live there too.”

“I was born there?” He asked.

Harry hummed in agreement. “Yes, you were. That’s where I met Ellie. For some reason, my dad loved the idea of just staying in California. I think it was because his family lived there and it was really far away from my Mom’s family that he isolated her from. Grandma is from New York, and us kids were born in New Jersey. Okay, I finished high school in California and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I had no idea who I even was or how to do anything for myself either.”

Hunter was staring back at him with both sympathy and apprehension.

“And even about non survival things, I just didn’t know what to do with myself. So, I stayed home, and I thought that I could fight him even if he tried to start with me. And I think he knew I would fight back if he tried to hurt me, so grandpa was just really weary of me, and he’d do anything to bring me down and make me feel small.” Harry paused for a second, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Growing up, we weren’t really religious, but dad did make us go to church, and that’s how I met Ellie. She grew up sorta similar to me. Her dad and mom were really really strict, and her dad was really controlling and would hit her sometimes.”

Frowning, Hunter reached for Harry’s hand.

“So,” he continued, “there was this party the church was throwing for all the young adults, I think I was nineteen, Ellie was nineteen too, and some kids came by and spiked the punch. As soon as we noticed, we just started to drink and drink and drink until we were both drunk. We never really talked to each other outside of church actually, and that was my first time ever… being with someone. _Sex_.”

Hunter turned his nose up. “Okay, I didn’t need to know that.”

Harry burst out laughing. “How else did you think you got here?”

“By stork! I like that version better.”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “Yeah, when I was nineteen, a stork just dropped you on my bed and left. Either way, we had _sex_ , and she got pregnant with you. Ellie had been planning on ‘running away’,” he put it in air quotes. “I don’t know if it’s still running away when you're over eighteen, but she was planning on leaving. That got postponed because she got pregnant, and it terrified her. She told me that there was no way she could marry me and stay here still under the watchful eyes of her parents. Still under their control. And at that point, the things between my dad had already exploded. I didn’t fight back, and I was really defeated. He kept pushing me to marry her, saying it was the right thing to do and we got into a really bad fight when I told him we weren’t getting married. I told Ellie to leave the day before you were born.” 

Harry watched Hunter’s expression turn sour. It was what he was afraid of the most when telling him because Harry didn’t fight for her to stay. He knew they would both have been miserable there, stuck and young with a baby. He knew that Ellie deserved better and it took him a little while longer to realize he deserved better too. 

“It would have been bad if she stayed and we got married you have to understand. When you grow up like we did, you learn to survive, and then you get tired of surviving, and you want to be at peace. That’s why I left California when you were young. I had to, I was tired of surviving, and I realized that I had to leave to do better and be better for you. And I wanted that for Ellie, I wanted her to be better and to be who she wanted to be, but being your mother, it just wasn’t for her. And I don’t want you to hate her or feel like she abandoned you because she didn’t.” Harry breathed, pulling Hunter into his side, nosing at his hair. “Please, please. I can’t tell you how you should feel about her. But please, know that she did what she had to do and that I supported her one hundred percent.”

He shrugged. “Dunno how to feel. I don’t know. It wasn’t what I was expecting. Sorry, your dad is a horrible person.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Harry said. “He’s six feet underground and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.”

“You know recruiters have been coming to my school,” Hunter paused. “and, for a second, I thought about it.”

“ _No_ ,” Harry said forcefully. “I will never let that happen. I will never let you throw your life away to go kill innocent people over bullshit.”

“I know, I know. I won’t.” He sighed.

“Good,” Harry said. And they left it at that. “Do you have any questions you want to ask? Anything you don’t understand?”

Hunter shook his head. “No, I understand, I think. I’m still trying to process and think about it all, though.” 

“That’s fine, bug. You think and process, and if you need me to clarify anything, please, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m an open book,” Harry gave him a sloppy kiss on the forehead to lighten the mood, and because he knew it would annoy him – it did. “Do you know why I call you ‘bug’?”

Hunter shook his head, wiping at his cheek. “No, and your kisses are gross. I hate them.”

Harry rolled his eyes, giving him another kiss just to be more annoying. “I call you bug because, when you were a baby, a ladybug landed on your big head.”

Hunter glared at him. “Oh, yeah? And who do you think I got my big head from?” He got up and went to his room after that. Harry shaking with laughter on the couch, mentally exhausted.

+

The beginning of June was one of the hottest weeks thus far this year. 

There was no nice transition from Spring weather to Summer weather; it went from being sporadically hot but chill for the most part, to days that reached the eighties and barely touched the nineties.

When Harry wasn’t at work, he was in his air conditioned house napping or watching TV. He’d never been one for social media, he had a Facebook and occasionally went on there to see what was going on, but things like Twitter and Instagram scared him. He asked Hunter one day if he had a Twitter and received a very strange look and a curt nod. He left it at that and went on Facebook to see what his mom was up to. 

Louis texted him on a Thursday if he could come over to his house the day after to help him with something. He’d been very vague about it and didn't answer Harry’s text wanting more information. Since he was off, he told him he’d be there around twelve. Louis sent back a thumbs up emoji. 

That Friday, Harry showed up at Louis’ wearing possibly the shortest shorts he’d ever worn before. On the website he bought them from, he didn’t realize they were women’s shorts, which wasn’t the problem, really, it was just how short they were. On the model, the shorts went to her knees (turned out the model was five foot four) and, on Harry, they stopped just a bit above mid-thigh. He put them on when he was getting ready in the morning, along with a plain white t-shirt, and when it was time to head out to Louis’, he forgot just how short they were. 

Outside Louis’ house, there were a bunch of things scattered all around on his lawn and a crudely made sign that was mostly taken up by a glitter monster, proclaiming that the Tomlinson’s were having a yard sale. 

Harry hopped out of his car, pulling on his shorts and feeling subconscious with so much thigh out. Louis instantly spotted him, but before he could say anything, someone behind him wolf whistled. It was Niall.

“Loving the shorts, Harry! Didn’t know this was a thigh out kinda situation.” Niall was very effortlessly cool. He had shorts on as well, but they weren’t as short and they went to his knees. He had his tan converse on and silver rimmed glasses – he looked like he just stepped off of a runway. 

Harry shorted, pulling at the back of his shorts. “Are you catcalling me?” He asked playfully.

Niall pulled his glasses down, looking him over. “If I wasn’t kinda taken, I would try and snatch you up!”

Harry made a face. “What?”

Louis looked him up and down for a few seconds before turning back to his task. “He’s in a polyamorous relationship that’s kinda friends with benefits sorta thing, but they’re all exclusive to each other,” Louis answered, digging around a box full of random trinkets.

Harry felt himself frown deeper. “Huh?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Niall said. “Ignore him, he hasn’t had sex in a _year_.”

Louis gave Niall a look. “Way to tell my business, _Neil_. And actually, I had sex last week.”

“Oh!” Niall exclaimed enthusiastically.

“ _Oh_ ,” Harry said through clenched teeth. 

Louis glanced at Harry for a quick second before looking back at Niall. “And also, it’s perfectly healthy not to have sex for a year.”

“Yeah, but a year, though?” Niall whined. “I could _never_.”

Harry grimaced, “I… umm, nevermind.” He knew it’d just become a big joke if he confessed how he hadn’t had sex since the day Hunter was conceived. 

“What? Gonna tell us all about your sexcapades?” Niall asked with a smirk.

Harry batted him away. “We aren’t here for that, _Neil_. We’re here to support Louis and help him sell things.”

“Exactly,” Louis said. “I have summoned you all today to help me with selling all this junk that I have laying around my house.”

“You’re a fucking hoarder, do you know that?” Niall said, surveying the area.

Louis glared at him. “Says the motherfucker who still has his fifth grade talent show trophy, the one in the seventh grade, and a participation trophy he got in high school. And the fucker who still has a zip bag filled with hair from his first haircut.”

“Hey!” Niall ripped his glasses off. “I don’t have any of that, my mom does! And those all hold _sentimental_ value, unlike this,” Niall held up an old fishing rod that looked older than all of them combined.

Louis snatched it from him. “Yeah? Well, I’m about to put my sentimental favorite shoes up your flat ass.”

“ _Well_! What the hell is going on over here?” A happy looking Liam strolled up with a box in hand. He set it down on the table beside Louis’ box of miscellaneous objects. “Why are we kicking Niall’s ass?”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Can you all please just grab shit out of the boxes and put them on the tables? I have to get these tables back to the rental place by six and I want half of this shit gone by then.”

“But—” Liam tried.

Louis cut him off. “Harry, you’re with me. I have two more boxes in the living room to get. Liam and Niall set shit out and make a sign saying everything is five dollars and below. Avery was too tired to make one. The arts and crafts are on the table next to my car, please, don’t let anyone buy them or she’ll cry and be upset.” And with that, everyone went where they needed to be.

Harry followed Louis into his house, still thinking about Louis confessing how just last week he had been with someone. It made him feel ashamed that he hadn’t been with someone in literal years and ashamed at the way he felt about it. He didn’t say anything though, and he didn’t want this day to be ruined because he was starting to feel weird about Louis’ confession.

“Nice shorts,” Louis murmured, grabbing one of the boxes marked _‘grage sel ls’_ in a pink sharpie marker, obviously done by Avery.

Harry subconsciously started to pull at the slightly frayed hem. “Thanks, I didn't realize how short they were.” He said, honest.

Louis shorted. “Do you have a closet filled with short shorts?”

Harry giggled. “No, but I still have two more pairs coming from the site that I ordered them from, so, I guess I will soon!”

Louis chuckled, heading outside. Harry quickly grabbed the box and followed suit. Outside, Niall and Liam were making a sign. Louis started to set things out on tables while Harry went to a random table and started to set things out on his own. A cuckoo clock that seemed broken, but when Harry turned the clock to twelve, a bluebird sprang out of the closed doors and startled him. Ignoring the laughter behind him, Harry moved on, grabbing all the things out of the box and stacking them neatly on the table. A few strangers stopped by, one of them even buying the little clock. When they ran out of table space, Louis came up with an idea.

“I’ve seen this before, but obviously with better shit.” Louis said, grabbing a sharpie and an empty box and writing _‘mystery box ten dollars’_ on it in, what could only be described as chicken scratch. “Okay, so anything that can’t fit on the tables and that looks somewhat nice, grab it and put it in these boxes.” He grabbed six more boxes and handed three to Harry.

“You have terrible handwriting.” Harry blurted out, boxes in hand. Louis gave him a look while Niall and Liam laughed in the background. 

Louis poked his stomach, causing Harry to squirm away. “You turning on me too, huh? You want to end up like those two knuckleheads over there?” He pointed behind him, eyebrow raised, licking his lips. “You sure that’s what you want?” He asked, playfully, still poking Harry and making him laugh.

“No, no, I take it back! You have the handwriting of a doctor!” Harry laughed, shying away from the attack and trying to grab things to put in boxes.

Louis backed away with a cackle. “Yeah? That’s what I thought.”

They got back to work, and soon they had all the things that couldn’t fit in boxes or on top of other boxes _in_ boxes for ten dollars. Afterwards, they went around and put the signs up around the yard, and then somehow Harry and Louis got tasked with taking a few of the signs and driving around to put them around the neighborhood. Louis didn't trust Liam and Niall to not screw things up or drive customers away while he was gone, but he let up, taking Niall’s keys. Harry just shrugged and accepted it.

He realized, while in the car with Louis, that he’d never been in a car with Louis. He had once, but they were parked, and he couldn’t help but remark on Louis’ driving skills. “You’re a horrible driver,” Harry said, right as they hit a pothole.

“ _Hey_!” Louis exclaimed. “What’s with you today, huh? Are those shorts cutting off your circulation?” He started to poke at Harry again, not stopping when he shied away.

“I’m sorry,” Harry laughed. “But you really do suck at driving. I guess it’s true, then.” He said.

Louis briefly gave him a look. “What’s true?”

Harry grinned. “I saw this thing on Facebook about how gay people can’t drive. I’m pretty sure it was a joke but,” he shrugged.

Louis cackled. “What!? How is that a joke? Or even a good joke?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shrugged. “But your driving reminded me of that.”

Louis shook his head, parking in front of a random house three streets away. “Isn’t that a dig at you also because you’re gay?” He asked.

Harry hummed. “Yeah, I guess. I am a pretty bad driver too. I’m really bad at parking,”

“Of course you are,” Louis said, “‘Cause you can’t feel your legs with such tight little shorts, can you?”

They put up a few signs in the surrounding neighborhoods before Louis got the bright idea to get everyone ice cream. They drove to a Baskin Robbins, where Louis ordered himself a mint chocolate chip and Harry ordered a Gold Medal Ribbon because of the combination of caramel and chocolate. They ordered Niall and Liam a milkshake and nearly lost their minds at how long it took to get through the line. 

On the way back, Louis stopped on the street just before his house and they sat and ate their ice creams with little pink spoons with the air blasting. Harry took a big scoop and let it melt on his tongue, licking the remnants from his lips. He caught Louis staring.

“How is yours?” Harry asked, hyper focusing on the way Louis licked the corner of his mouth after every scoop.

Louis shrugged. “It’s alright. Usually, I like to go to Sonic and get a blizzard with Avery, those are amazing. Blows Baskin Robbins out of the water.”

Harry huffed. “I can’t believe you just said that. Sonic over Baskin Robbins? Have you lost your mind?”

Louis groaned, smirking. “Next, you're going to tell me you like Dunkin Donuts over Krispy Kreme.”

When Harry didn’t say anything, Louis let out a noise. “No way. Get out of the car right now!”

“What!”

Louis looked incredulous. “I can’t believe… Are you even from this planet? Everyone knows that Krispy Kreme is miles better than Dunkin ‘stale’ Donuts.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Harry said. “You have to ask them if they’re fresh and then—”

“If you have to ask a place if the food they’re selling is fresh, then you’ve already lost. Nope!” He said when Harry tried to talk. “You lost! You have to ask if your donuts are stale while I just pick out my own and enjoy on the way home or to work.”

“Alright, alright. You sound like an ad,” Harry said, crumbling up the little carton his ice cream came in.

Louis laughed. “I should be! They should hire me to be their spokesperson. So I can tell all the losers who eat at Dunkin Donuts that Krispy Kreme is better.”

Harry shoved Louis, and then Louis started to tickle Harry, and then Harry tried to grab Louis’ wrist to stop him (at this point Louis was leaning over the console into Harry’s space), and Louis countered that by grabbing Harry’s wrist tightly and pulling him forward until they were chest to chest in Niall’s little Jeep. With a heaving chest and with bated breath, Harry connected their lips, which were inches away from each other.

Harry could taste the mint on Louis’ tongue and it made him hungry for more. This kiss, if that’s what you could even call it, was a lot more heated than all of their other kisses. Louis let his grip on Harry’s wrist go, but immediately his hands squeezed his exposed thighs like he’d been waiting to do it since Harry stepped out of his car. And wanting to squeeze Louis, Harry’s hands found their way everywhere he could prod and pull Louis’ hair, which caused him to moan. He grabbed his waist, which had him inching up for more until they found their home around his neck, pulling and pulling until he was draped over Harry in the passenger seat. He was hard, incredibly so, and he could feel Louis too, but he didn’t care about that at that moment.

Things started to slow down just as fast as they came together as one.

Louis fit himself between Harry's thighs, deepening the kiss as if it couldn’t get any deeper, as if Harry was too far away even though they were as close as two people could be. The sensation of something cold running down his legs had Harry pulling away and Louis chasing him for more, licking at his lips and then mouthing his cheek with parted spit covered lips and then his neck. He didn’t bite, didn’t lick, didn’t take what wasn’t his to take, he just mouthed and nibbled a bit, and then maybe he did lick, and it sent a chill down Harry’s spine. Desire, want and a little bit of something else sat at the bottom of his stomach sending little shocks to his dick. He whined as if he was sensitive to the touch. But the cold feeling on his legs jolted him as it reached his thigh, and Louis was pulling back, confused. _The milkshakes_ , Harry thought.

“Fuck,” was what he said. “Uhh, the milkshakes.” 

Harry’s legs, in the haste to get to each other, were thrown over the console so that Louis could get between them, which caused the milkshakes to get squished by him. 

“Shit,” Louis said. Harry watched as he tried to catch his breath, doing the same himself as he slowly moved his legs back into the passenger's seat.

His thoughts caught up to hi, and shame hit him full force, as well as embarrassment. But the desire was still there, and something else he couldn’t recognize. “We shouldn’t have,” he said, hated the way it came tumbling out of his mouth. He sounded guilt ridden and shameful, and the annoyed look on Louis’ face let him know he was the only one who did between them. But someone had to. “Wait!” 

“How many times are we going to kiss? And how many times are you going to regret it afterward?” Louis asked. A question that Harry couldn’t even bring himself to think about at this moment. So he went and did what he did best, ruin everything.

“I don’t want to ruin what we have.”

Louis scoffed, wiping at his nose. “It’s obvious what we both want, or what _I_ want. So why are you pretending you don’t want the same thing?”

Harry stammered. “I don’t, or I do, or… look, I have to sort myself out, okay?”

“Clearly,” Louis spat, starting up the car and driving back to his house.

Taken aback at Louis’ bluntness, Harry didn’t say anything for the rest of the ride.

The stickiness of the spilled milkshake made him more uncomfortable than he already was, and he nearly jumped out of the car as soon as Louis parked it. There were people milling around, so he schooled his face, settling on a tight smile. Harry cleaned himself up in Louis’ bathroom, grabbing a rag and wetting it with hot water and soap. They cleaned the spilled milkshake and whipped cream from Niall’s leather seats in silence. 

Not wanting to just leave them down a person, Harry stayed, but made sure to steer clear of Louis, even if their silence did make them look suspicious in the eyes of Niall and Liam. He ended up selling two of the mystery boxes and a rack full of clothes. Things started to slow down a bit after dinner hour was over and they’d managed to sell a lot of things. The rest, Louis told them, was going to go away to places that needed it and little thrift stores. They packed up the rest in the back of Louis’s car.

Niall asked them if they wanted to go out for drinks with him. Both Liam and Louis agreed, but Harry declined.

“Sorry,” he said. “Today really wore me out.” It was an obvious attempt at not saying the truth, but Niall told him that he understood, and Liam told him that next time he was definitely coming along, and Louis rolled his eyes. “You all have fun, though.” He told them as he pulled away from Louis' house with a wave, riding home with the windows down and jumbled up thoughts that left him feeling alone and tired.

+

The summer solstice was the longest day of the year, the official start of summer.

Because Harry worked at an up and coming hip company, his bosses decided to let the whole company have the whole day off to celebrate. Harry had never celebrated summer solstice before and he didn’t plan on starting anytime soon, but he would use it as an excuse to sleep in late and get some things done that he’d been neglecting. Things like to go to the grocery store so they didn’t have to spend another night eating out. Harry asked Hunter if he wanted to go with him, and he declined, of course.

As soon as he stepped outside into the heat, he regretted it instantly, but braved through it, groaning when he turned the air conditioning on in his hot car. Usually, he would make a list of things they needed for the next week or two, but the fridge was basically empty, so there was really no need to do so when they needed so much stuff. 

On the way out to the car with a cart filled with groceries, Harry randomly ran into Niall who was on his way in, their cars coincidently parked right next to each other.

“Hey, Harry!” Niall said a bright smile on his face. He wasn’t wearing sunglasses like he usually did.

Harry waved as he opened his trunk. “Hey, how are you?”

Niall nodded, looking around. “Couldn’t be better honestly! You just went shopping?” He pointed to the cart with his keys. “I got a few things to pick up myself.”

“Yeah. Thought I’d get some shopping done since my job let me have the day off, because of the solstice.”

“Ohhh, that’s really nice.” He said. “A little birdie told me you were thinking about giving your song some guitar lessons?”

Harry rolled his eyes. He knew exactly who the little bird who told him tht was. “Yeah, I was thinking about it. Just haven’t had time to sit down and plan.”

Niall nodded, twirling his keys on his finger. “Well, I don’t know if you know but I do lessons down at the rec center. You can bring him over sometime, maybe next week and I can give you the friends and family package.”

“Family and friends package?” Harry huffed. “And how much will that cost?”

Niall gave him a big smile. “Well, free of charge of course.” Just when Harry thought he was about to announce his departure, he didn't. Instead, he asked. “So, uhh what’s been going on with you and Louis?” He said it so nonchalantly like he was trying hard not to let Harry know he knew. But Harry could tell and it annoyed him that Louis had been telling people about whatever it was they’d been doing. “He has been a bit sad lately. He said you two had a falling out.”

Harry practically started throwing the bags in the car, trying to get away from Niall and this conversation as fast as he could. “It’s not really any of your business now, is it?” He snapped, ignoring the shocked look on Niall’s face.

“Well, seeing as Louis is my friend, and I don’t like seeing my friend sad, and he _is_ sad, I would say it is my business.”

“Alright, Niall.” Harry sighed. “Think what you want to think, believe what you want. I don’t give a fuck.” 

Harry slammed his trunk shut and pushed the cart to the front of his car. Usually, he’d walk it back to one of the cart stations, but he wasn’t feeling it. He hopped in his car and pulled out, getting home faster than he ever had before.

Once the groceries were all in the house and all put away, Belle had been fed and lunch had been made, only then, did Harry take some time to relax and fold some laundry he started doing the previous day. He had half a mind to call Louis up and ask him what his problem was, but didn’t feel like getting into it with him, and if history proved right, they would be back as friends by next week.

So, he left it alone and spent his summer solstice on the couch, folding clothes and petting a sleepy Belle., hoping that things between Louis and him would get better.

+

During the next few days, Harry heard nothing from Louis since the last time they were together, and that was three weeks ago. No uncomfortable phone calls or texts asking how he was, no update on Avery to try and break the tension between them. He thought about being the first to call this time, or the first to text and ask if everything was alright, or send the cute little picture of Hunter asleep on his shoulder from the other day. But whenever he mustered up the courage to press Louis' contact name and draft up a text, he always closed out of the tab before he hit send. 

On top of that, lately, he’d been thinking about possibly talking to Hunter about his sexuality and lack of attraction to women. He knew he raised his son to be respectful to everyone regardless of sexuality and gender, but at the same time, never in a million years, he thought that he would be coming out to his fifteen year old. It wasn’t like he thought Hunter was going to be grossed out by him or be homophobic, but it was different coming out to his siblings and his mom because he didn’t see them every day and he didn’t value their opinion as much as he did his son’s. 

But, once the idea of telling him got into his head, he couldn’t make it go away. So, he decided to just rip the bandaid off. What’s the worst that could happen?

“Hunter!” Harry called, sitting nervously on the couch, watching as Belle walked around from room to room, most likely looking for her favorite toy.

Hunter came out of his room after being called for the second time. His hair had gotten shaggier, and recently he’d asked if he could get a mullet when it was time to cut his hair next. Harry almost choked on his wine.

“Yeah, dad?” He sighed.

Harry patted the seat next to him, moving over to put space between them, and so they could face each other. “I need to tell you something,” Harry said. His nerves made his hands shake, and his heart pound. He wondered if this was what it felt like when you're a teenager coming out to a parent, or a young adult doing the same thing. It made him feel incredibly old and young at the same time.

“Okay, if this is about what I said last night then I really am still sorry.” He said. 

Hunter cussed someone out over a game he was playing, and when Harry walked in, the word _faggot_ left his lips. He had never been more disappointed in him then at that moment, and before he could think, he’d ripped the headphones off his head and took his keyboard and controllers and consoles and everything that he could get his hands on. They’d talked about it afterward, when Harry calmed down.

Harry shook his head. “No, this might be a little weird for you. But, fuck, sorry, I don’t know how to do this. But, umm, I’m gay.” He winced when he said it, and he had to remind himself that this was his son, not his dad.

Hunter frowned. “I really didn’t mean what I said last night, dad. I don’t care about that either like I don’t think of you differently or anything.”

Harry nodded. “So, is it alright that you know, you won’t, ever have a mom?” 

Hunter laughed. “Jeez, dad. Of course, I don’t care about that. Plus, I think Mister Tomlinson is cool and all. And I like Avery.”

Harry’s mouth went dry, and his jaw nearly hit the floor. “What?”

Hunter frowned again, “Are you and Mister Tomlinson not together? I saw you kiss, I think, the day we got home from the doctors, ‘cause I got a cast on my arm. The day I got into that fight. You guys pulled apart so quickly, I thought you saw me through the window.”

Harry quickly shook his head, practically giving himself whiplash. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with his son. “No, it wasn’t like that. Or maybe it was, I don’t know. We aren’t really talking right now.”

“Oh, well, if you really like Mister Tomlinson and want to marry him, I don’t care. Having two dads seemed cool.” He shrugged nonchalantly like Harry wasn’t going into a full-blown panic at just how obvious they’d been all this time. 

“ _Uhh_ ,” his voice went all high pitched, and he had to clear his throat before going on. “We aren’t planning on getting married, bug. We aren’t even together right now.”

“Okay,” Hunter coughed into his arm, shrugging. “Well, if you wanted my blessing, you have it.”

All Harry could do was laugh quietly, his face incredibly hot, and he knew he was red as a tomato right now. “Thanks, Hunter. I’m glad I got your permission to marry Louis.”

“No problem. So, can I get my game back?” He pouted, making prayer hands and giving Harry his best puppy dog eyes.

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine, but if those words every leave your mouth again—”

“They won’t. I freaking promise!”

“—then you will be in the worst trouble alright? It’s just a game, it’s not that serious, okay?” Hunter nodded, and Harry let him go after giving him a hug.

That went a lot better than Harry initially thought, but he was an awesome parent after all, and he knew deep down that Hunter really truly did not care. He didn’t know he would come out of this with his blessing to be with and marry Louis but, well, he had it if he ever needed it. And seeing as they hadn’t talked in weeks, he probably wouldn’t.

Later on in the day, he got a text from Gemma with her big baby bump taking up more than half of the frame, and a text above saying she was having a little boy. Harry nearly hit his leg on the coffee table as he scrambled to call her.

“Gemma! A boy!” He yelled as soon as the call went through.

She laughed. “Yes, a boy! Fuck, now I can’t stop crying again. I’m having a fucking baby, Harry, what the fuck?”

Harry started to tear up too, ending the call abruptly and FaceTiming her. A teary eyed Gemma filtered through with the biggest smile on her face. “You look so beautiful!” 

Gemma groaned, a smile still present as she wiped away tears. “Shut up, I started to decorate the nursery. The walls are a pretty pale yellow color, and I just got the carpets washed because Mali loves going in there and pissing.” 

Harry laughed. “I can’t believe I’m going to be an uncle. I wish I was there.”

Gemma shook her head, resting the phone on her belly. “Don’t. You stay where you’re happiest, and we will love you no matter how much the distance. We just have to do better at being civil with each other and being more understanding.”

“I know,” Harry nodded.

“Let’s not do this right now. But how are you and Hunter?”

“Good,” Harry said. “I came out to him earlier today.”

Gemma’s eyes widened. “Oh, really? How did it go?”

Harry smiled. “It went really well, actually. He was really understanding and basically said he didn’t give two fucks, but in a good way. How are you?” Harry left out the part of getting a blessing from Hunter to be with Louis, of course.

Gemm nodded. “Good, pregnant obviously, but I’m good. I turned down Adam again, kinda feeling like shit because of that but, yeah.”

“Oh, Gemma.”

She made a face, shaking her head. “You don’t have to do that. I like Adam, I love him more than anything in this world. He is the first person who I clicked with, after meeting so many people and being with people who just didn’t take the time to understand me. Somehow, in all of that, I met Adam, and god, Harry I really do love him.” He saw her tearing up again. “Also, fuck off, I’m pregnant and everything makes me cry right now. But, a commitment that big? I feel like that’s the shit I got left with after leaving home, commitment issues. ”

“You’re not the only one,” Harry murmured, He thought about all the times he’d had the chance to explain himself fully to Louis, about the way he felt, about the confusion over his feelings and the way he left him feeling exhausted and scared at the same time. Maybe he had commitment issues too.

“What do you mean? Are there even any gay people in Piemouth?”

That had Harry laughing again. “Uhh, yeah. I umm, might be in love with someone.” He confessed.

As soon as he said it, he wanted to take it back, thinking that love might be too strong of a word. But how else could he tell people how he felt about Louis? It felt a lot like love, the things he felt for him, the butterflies in his stomach whenever they were around each other. The feelings he got when they kissed, when they were apart for too long, when they laughed about something together when they cried watching a movie. 

Gemma’s gaze softened, tears welling up in her eyes. “God, I’m such a cry baby right now! I’ve never cried this much in my life! But I’m so happy for you, Harry. I never thought you would find someone, or be interested in someone like that to be in love.”

He nodded. “I know, I didn’t think so myself. But I sorta fucked it all up I think.”

She glowered. “Oh, no, what the hell did you do now?”

“Christ, Gems. But I uhh, so we kissed on New Year's Eve. Not during the countdown, but maybe we did because fireworks were going off, I think. Or not, but we haven’t really stopped kissing since then. And every time we kiss, I just panic and leave. Like the little disaster that I am.”

“You’re not a disaster, Harry. If anything, we all are,” Gemma sighed. “You have to tell him how you feel. What if he thinks you're just some straight guy leading him on?”

Harry groaned. “Well, I didn’t think of it that way until now. Thanks so much, Gemma.” 

“Sorry! But I would look at it that way if I was in his position. What’s his name?”

“Louis Tomlinson,” Harry replied. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he said Louis’ name. 

Gemma gave him a knowing smile. “I’ve literally never seen you do that in my entire life. You look like you’re in love. You’re fucking blushing and everything, and you never blush!”

Harry chuckled. “So do you. We’re both in love and are afraid of commitment for very different reasons.”

“Promise me something?” Gemma asked.

“What?”

She sighed, pulling her hair out of her face. “Promise me that you’ll tell him your feelings soon? I don’t want this to pass you up, Harry. You’re literally in love, and you’re about to let it go.”

He nodded, pursing his lips. “Alright, but promise me you’ll talk to Adam about why you feel like marriage is a big commitment to you. Unless he doesn’t know,”

She groaned, leaning her head back. “He knows, I told him around a month after I realized I didn’t want to be with anyone else but him.” 

“Okay, that’s a promise,” Harry said. They pinky promise over the phone and soon hang up after that.

Harry thought that in admitting his strong feelings for Louis to someone, and to himself, that he would feel clarity. But at that moment, all he could feel was anything but that. It terrified him, really, to think that he might be in love with someone, much more than he was in love with Louis, of all people. He thought about how it came to be, how it got to this point, and he realized how slow and natural his love for him grew since meeting in that tiny auditorium that he hadn’t been back to since. Maybe, all this time, subconsciously, he had been trying to make it love.

+

After his talk with Gemma, and coming out to Hunter, Harry grew new found confidence he never knew that he had. He let himself stew in his love for Louis, constantly thinking about him, the times that they shared together, the constant teasing, all the kisses in between they had shared. 

It was on his mind twenty-four seven lately, it was like he couldn’t stop thinking about it now that he knew what his feelings truly were. He couldn’t stop thinking about Louis' laugh, his hair, his teeth, the way his eyes crinkled and the little barely-there freckles on his face, the red in his beard, the grey in his hair, the tattoos that littered his skin. The love he had for Avery that he couldn’t help but share whenever they were together, the way his eyes lit up and softened when he talked about her.

It was all so much all at once, and he woke up with a smile on his face and went to bed with that same smile. Even Hunter noticed the shift in his mood and asked him if everything was okay and if he was talking to Louis again.

“The only time I’ve seen you look like that is when you're with Mister Tomlinson, and when you’re looking at baby pictures of me.” He said. 

Harry sadly had to tell him that they still weren’t talking, that it was coming up on a month now, and that he’d let him know if things changed. 

Hunter told him not to mess things up again. “I just really like seeing you happy. You’ve been happy before, of course, but this is a different kind of happiness.” And then he was back in his room like he always was, always leaving Harry to think about what he’d said.

He didn't dwell on that for too long, it was something he could think about when his brain kept him up at night past his usual bedtime, something that had been happening a lot lately. No, Harry had to figure out a way to make things up with Louis.

It shouldn’t be as hard as he made it, he was a grown adult, not a teenager. As an adult, you solved things by sitting down and talking about them like the mature people that you were. But Harry wasn’t mature, and he thought that Louis wasn’t fully either, and just because they were adults, it didn’t make any of this easier. And then he started to think about the fact that the last time he was with Louis, at the garage sale, he’d confessed to sleeping with someone. So, there was a large possibility that Louis didn't even reciprocate his feelings for him. But wasn’t that worth the risk in the end? To finally lay his cards on the table and to tell Louis how he felt, even if he didn’t feel the same, to finally know what had been going on in his head and let Louis know what had been happening in his. 

Harry thought about all of this while at work – it was actually the perfect time to think about it. Working there, in such a creative environment, helped him think, which in return helped him work better and get the day over with just as fast as it started.

While driving home, Harry picked up a pizza and concocted a plan on how he was going to tell Louis.

+

The first thing Harry did was to text Louis back first.

He asked him how he was doing, after a month of radio silence on both ends. Louis did text him back a question mark emoji, but told him he was doing alright. Harry sent back a heart, the adrenaline rush of texting Louis back made him a little bold, and then he asked him if they could meet up somewhere soon. Louis didn’t text him back right away after that, but an hour later he told him yes, that they could talk over brunch the day after. Harry texted back that they could do that, but that they had some things to talk about and that it would be best to do it when they both had the time.

Louis texted back an ‘okay’, and then let Harry know he wasn’t working the day after, which luckily, Harry wasn’t either. So, Harry was the one that found the place for them to go this time, and they made a plan to meet up for lunch at a little bistro that he remembered from when he was younger. 

The next day, Harry was of course very nervous, but also weirdly calm at the same time. His hands shook as he shaved and got ready. As he was in the car, he sang along to whatever song came on in the playlist Hunter had made for him. He told Gemma that he was going to confess to Louisand that he hoped she kept up her end of the bargain. She cursed at him, but ultimately told him she’d tell Adam the following day, and to call her after he talked with Louis today. That was on his way over to the bistro. Once he was sitting down outside waiting for Louis, his nerves started up again.

He ordered them both water and a glass of wine and some bread. He also realized shortly after Louis arrived, looking as beautiful as he always did, that consuming alcohol was how they got into this mess in the first place. 

Harry stood as Louis pointed him out to the waiter outside and walked to the table.

“Hi,” he said. His voice teetered on too quiet and too loud at the same time. But with the heat outside, more people were eating inside than out, a common occurrence for them, it seemed. Maybe, the whole world knew about his love for Louis and everyone was just waiting for him to realize it.

Louis nodded, curtly. “Hey.” His smile didn’t cause his eyes to crinkle, and it was more of a thin line than anything genuine. 

They didn’t touch, as Harry was too scared to lean over and have Louis feel just how fast his heart was beating and he didn't know what he'd do if he felt Louis' skin on his again. So, he stood, hand out, all too formal, and then sat when Louis went to sit.

He expected things to be tense, the wine and bread being brought out just as Louis opened his mouth to speak. They thanked the waiter and then it was just the both of them again.

Louis' hair was longer than it’d ever been. It was styled in an updo, the way Harry loved, but the top seemed a lot bigger than what it’d been like before. And his beard was gone, it made him look younger and older at the same time. Harry could feel his face heating up. No one had said anything yet.

Harry took the plunge. “I know that I’ve been acting really, really strange, for a while now.”

Louis huffed. “Really, now?”

Harry nodded, he didn't want this to turn into an argument. “Yes, and I want you to know that I’m gay, just in case you didn’t think I was.” Truth be told, he started to think Gemma’s theory was right and that Louis probably thought he was just some straight guy. But the look he gave him told him otherwise.

“Uhh, okay? I knew that. You literally told me, or us, at the bar. And we’ve, uh, kissed a lot, and I’ve felt your dick before, and it was hard.” He said, taking a bit out of a piece of bread. “I very much know that you’re gay.” 

Harry felt himself starting to sweat, even under an umbrella shielding them from sunlight, and the gentle breeze, it was unbearably hot. Why did he choose to do this outside and not somewhere with air conditioning again? “Yes, yes. But after the kisses, I was really cold to you for no reason. And I did it multiple times and I didn't want you to think that I was a straight guy leading you on.”

Louis snorted. “I didn’t think you were straight, but I do think you’re leading me on. Which I don’t know why, so, how about you clue me in on what’s happening? BecauseI’m genuinely curious about what you have to say.”

Harry took a deep breath, “I’m sorry about that, I really am. And I’m not leading you on. it’s just that it took me a really long time to realize that I was gay, actually. Maybe it didn’t, I think I always sorta knew, but it took me a long time to be okay with it.” He said. “I always thought that when I became okay with it my dad would, I don’t know, smite me from down in hell? Yes, I think my dad is in hell. But growing up he would always call me soft and a sissy and always try and toughen me up, and by the time I was eighteen, things were getting really really bad, and if Hunter was never born at that time, I think I would have exploded and then he would have exploded and my life would be a lot different than it is.”

Louis was silent, trying to absorb all of this newfound information.

“So,” Harry continued, “when I was kissing you, I reall,y really wanted to, but then my thoughts would catch up to me, and then I’d be like _‘what the fuck’_. And at first, it was because I wasn’t fully able to come to terms with being gay, and then it really was because I didn’t want to lose your friendship. You’re my first friend in years and I thought that I’d ruin it completely by wanting you. So, I tried to bury it. Obviously, that didn’t work and I ended up hurting you in the process of trying to guard myself and I’m sorry.”

Louis nodded, the hard look on his face that he came to the table with slowly melted away to something more approachable, less guarded and unsure. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Harry breathed. “And before Hunter came, he was always on my case about how I never had a girlfriend, never showed any interest in women, and then he started making up stories about me watching gay porn to upset my mom. It was bad, but then Hunter came, Ellie came and left, and she gave me the courage to just leave before things got bad again. So, it took me a long time, as I said, to realize and be okay with being gay. Literally this year, I think, I finally accepted it, and with dealing with all of that and being an asshole in the process, which, again, I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have been collateral damage in the mess that is my life. But I also realized some other things too.”

Louis gulped. “Yeah?” He put down his bread, his hand shaking slightly. “And what is that?”

Harry glanced at him. “That I love with you and that I’m okay with it.”

Louis didn’t move, but tears started to well up in his blue eyes. Blue eyes that Harry couldn’t help but be infatuated with. They reminded him of the sky, the ocean, everything that was bright and gold in his world. Everything that he loved.

“You love me?” Louis asked like he couldn’t believe it. “Holy shit. What the fuck.”

Harry huffed out a laugh, wiping his own tears. “Yeah, I’m in love with you. Like, really in love, I think.”

Louis nodded, “Alright, well. I guess it’s as good a time to tell you I think I’m sorta in love with you, too.”

Harry nearly burst into tears, not nearly, he did. “You love me back?” His voice wavered. His hands started to shake again, his heart beating faster than it ever had before, but not because of anxiety this time because someone loved him. Louis loved him.

“Of course I love you! I was waiting for you to realize it, or I hoped you felt the same. ButI understand, you know? Not everything but, I never had to go through what you went through, but I understand your thought process and how things haven’t been easy for you. And it’s not an excuse, and I’m not letting you off the hook.”

Harry nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Louis cleared his throat. “But I understand, and I want to be with you, and I need to know if you really want to be with me.”

“Of course, I promise I want to be with you.”

He smiled. “Alright, then. Can’t believe I’m dating an older man.”

Before Louis could even finish the joke Harry was already groaning. “Not this again.”

There were people staring, but Harry didn’t care, because Louis loved him. Who cared what strangers thought of him when all he could focus on was that Louis _loved_ him. They laughed together.

“You _love_ me?” Harry murmured. “I don’t think anyone has loved me this way before, like in a romantic sorta way.” As much as he didn’t care about those around them staring, he still wanted his words to be for Louis only.

“Yes,” Louis laughed. “Also, that’s really sad and I’m sorry about that. But also, I really want to kiss you right now.”

Harry let out a watery laugh, leaning across the table and planting a brief kiss on Louis' lips. Just as he pulled away, Louis’ hands found their way on the back of his head and he kept him there. Suspended in the air, breathless and hopeful at the same time. They kissed again, slower this time, in a way they never had before. It wasn't filled with a burning passion, and it wasn’t as awkward and stilled. 

It was love, as cliche as that sounded. It felt a lot like love.


	3. End

**__** _An ode to being in love, and finding happiness._

There was nothing in the world sweeter than love.

And he meant love in all its forms, romantic love, platonic love, familial love, the love you got for a random and specific object, the love you had for a pet, your friends, your family. It was hard to not notice the way love shined on everything it touched, seeping into the deepest of crevices but once you did, it was hard not to find it in everything you did. You woke up at seven to go out and buy a newly released game for your son because you loved him and you wanted to see him happy. You bought fifty of the same chew toys for your cat because you loved her, and it made her happy. It was the littlest thing that love touched, and all you could do was be grateful you had so much of it in your life.

It was something Harry concluded the same day he confessed his love for Louis, and it was requited. They acted like lovesick fools, in a permanent honeymoon phase that didn’t seem like it was going to end any time soon. It was bliss, a freedom Harry never knew one could feel. To be loved and to be in love. He felt privileged. To be loved by Louis, to be surrounded by his love so much so that he wanted to bathe in it, felt like a privilege.

They didn’t fully talk about the past few months and all the little moments and big moments that led to where they were. It wasn’t like Harry shut Louis down from bringing it up sometimes to tease on how long it took them to get there, but they’d already talked about why he acted the way he acted and he said his sorrys and he didn’t want to rehash the past. They kissed and put a pretty little bow on all of those things. 

A week later, Louis started to ask very pointed questions that turned into them talking about commitment issues.

It wasn’t like Harry didn’t know he had commitment issues, he was very aware that he did, but the thought that Louis may have thought those issues might’ve ended up with them breaking up, or for their little love fest being cut short worried him.

They were sitting on Harry’s couch, legs tangled together with mugs filled with a homemade slushie Harry had been obsessed with making lately. His was strawberry, Louis’ was blueberry, and when they kissed, their tongues turned purple. The remnants stained their teeth, tongues and lips.

“I just think,” Louis paused, mouthing at the rim of the mug. “I just think that you have commitment issues. But I don’t know. Did you want to be with me like this back during New Years’?”

Harry frowned. “No, to be honest. I didn’t realize my feelings for you until later on. I know I had commitment issues because of my shitty childhood, and my inability to be okay with being gay. But I think I’m over it now,” He said, dipping his spoon in and letting the shaved ice melt on his tongue.

Belle tried to dip her head in his mug, and he swiftly moved it away before she could. He put a few ice cubes in her water bowl just to make sure she was okay in this heat. 

Louis nodded, tipping his head back and drinking the rest of his slushie. He smiled brightly, his teeth stained berry blue and eyes crinkled. “Do I look like I just ate a smurf?”

Harry laughed. “Yes.” He leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips, pulling back just as Louis started to deepen it. “What do I look like?” He asked.

Louis reached over and swiped at his lip with his thumb. “You look like you’re wearing lipstick. But you always look like you’re wearing lipstick, so.”

“ _Hey_ ,” Harry chuckled. Hitting his foot on Louis' thighs.

Louis took his foot into his palms and started to massage his ankle, placing a kiss right on one of the only tattoos he had. He got it when he was eighteen, it said, _‘never gonna dance again’_ and he also had a star on his bicep and Hunter’s name on the same arm, and a rose. All things he got done years ago. At the time it was a way to be in control, to exercise his right to do what he wanted with his body.

Louis hummed, kneading his fingers on a sore spot that had him hissing. “So, okay, don’t take this the wrong way. But have you ever thought of going to therapy? To talk about what happened to you?”

Harry quickly shook his head. “No, and I don’t really want to. I thought about it, a little. But no, it’s not a thing for me, and I think I’m coping with it all pretty well. I’m not a shit dad.” 

“Alright,” Louis said. ”I don’t mean to push but, what happened to you all was pretty serious. Do you guys ever talk about it?” He’s messing around with his hands, and it’s the first time he’s ever seen Louis so nervous before. Fidgety? Yes. A little jumpy? Of course? He’s always filled with so much energy it can be exhausting sometimes. But nervous, flustered, hesitant? No. 

Harry took Louis’ hand in his. “We talk about it. Before, we sorta didn’t, but it’s always this big elephant in the room. We don’t talk about it with our mom, though, ‘cause all it does is make her feel guilty.” It was always a slippery slope with their mom. The last time they ever talked about it all together happened three days after their dad’s funeral. And it ended in a lot of tears and not speaking to each other for months after.

“Well, I guess that’s good. Talking about it with the people you went through it with.” Louis shrugged. “And if you ever want to talk about it with me, you can? I don’t know how it’s affected you, obviously, but if somedays you just can’t stop thinking, you can vent to me.”

Harry nodded, somehow Louis’s hands got the upper hand, cradling Harry’s hands. Louis squeezed them. He was trying to be nice and understanding, and it felt strange. Harry had never had anyone tell him he could talk to them about it all. 

“Okay, thank you. And sorry for having so many issues. Not…” He sighed. “I didn’t mean to say sorry for my issues, but I’m still letting what happened to be literally years ago affect me now.”

Louis shook his head, untangling their fingers and cradling Harry’s head in his hands. “No, no. Don’t apologize for that. Harry you were literally abused. You were hit, and screamed at, and made to feel like you were nothing. Of course it’s going to affect you well into adulthood. And even if you did get professional help, those problems, those doubts, those fears, and shit, they would still be there.” He lets his head go.

“I don’t know I just feel like it should be harder for me to talk about it, or like…” He tried to get his thoughts together, tugging at a loose curl at the back of his head. “Like, I feel like it should have affected me more. I have commitment issues, and anxiety, and maybe depression but it’s not debilitating as it should be. If someone went through what we went through day in and day out like we did, they’d be so fucked up about it. And I am, trust me. But I’m not, at the same time. I can talk about it easily, and I hate my dad with everything in me, like some people would have still loved him and would have been beating themselves up about not going to his funeral, but I didn’t. Just the thought of seeing him, watching everyone cry over him like he wasn’t the monster in my dreams as a kid.” He shrugged again, tugging a bit too hard and wincing. “And I’m just here, years later feeling like I moved on from it all, and then realizing that all of my problems; not being able to make friends as an adult, being too quiet and shy and not outgoing, the ways in which I messed up with you. It all stemmed from when I was younger.” 

Louis looked at him wordlessly, nodding at everything he said. “Okay, but isn’t it good that you can just talk about it without feeling like you’re going to break into a million pieces? And _fuck,_ how other people would have been like after being abused as a kid because it only matters how you’ve been. Okay,” He hesitated for a second. “You went through all of that and came out with a few wounds and permanent scarring, and some people don’t. And I’m glad you don’t love him and that you’re not tearing yourself up over not going to his funeral. I’m glad that the issues that you have now aren’t debilitating or anything. You can work on them, getting better at making friends, opening up a little more, and being more outgoing. If that’s what you want.”

Harry sighed, letting the curl go and leaning his head down on the couch. “I feel like I’m fine, and I’m not at the same time. And I think I’ll just always feel this way, but I’m okay with it because I’m finer, and happier than I’ve been not happy and fine. It just feels weird a little bit, to know that my dad is a piece of shit, died being a piece of shit, and that his words don’t have an effect on me, and yet it does at the same time. I just feel like I’m too old—”

Louis scoffed. “Harry, you’re only in your thirties. Ten years ago, you were in your twenties! You’re not too old to go through anxiety and depression and to still be messed up about the things that happened to you when you were younger. When my dad left me, I had abandonment issues and I still kinda do.” Louis stared at him intently, “The things that happened to us in our childhood will always affect us in our adulthood, it’s when we were our most unguarded selves. We soaked everything up like a sponge.”

Harry nodded with his cheek against the couch cushion. As much as he didn’t want to have these conversations with Louis, as uncomfortable as they were, they did help. At least, he thought they did. His brain was a jumbled mess more than half the time. And he didn’t talk to his family nearly enough to unscramble it. And while he didn’t want to put too much pressure on Louis and doesn’t want him to feel like he had to fix him, Harry still appreciated talking to him about it all. At least, he wouldn’t get the idea that his commitment issues were going to tear them apart. It’s the last thing he wanted, as big of a fear it was.

They left it at that, moving on to a lighter topic that didn’t have Harry’s head spinning. 

He hadn’t really thought about going to therapy ever, actually, and he didn’t see why he would need to when everything was fine. It was what he told Gemma and Dylan during a random FaceTime with the two of them. First, he told them that he was in a relationship with someone he loved. They said their congrats, well wishes and how they were glad he had finally found his person. Then, he asked them about therapy.

“Okay, do you think we need it?” He asked, chewing on an orange slice at the kitchen table. He thought about it before, many times actually, but was always too busy to really look into it. But, once Louis had said something about it, the words weighed on him.

Dylan frowned, glaring at him. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Harry gave him a look. “We were abused by our dad for years. It obviously fucked us up as people and continues to trouble us well into adulthood. So, I’m asking, have either of you thought about therapy or something?” He expected this reaction from them, they’d always been taught that therapy was for people who truly were ‘weak minded’ as his dad put it. But he also knew that his dad was full of shit and filled his head with the same shit that never made sense.

Gemma sighed. “Honestly, I thought about it for a little while. Especially after I talked to Adam, which I did by the way.” She stuck her tongue out, and Harry knew it was directed at him. “But I don’t think we really need it. We aren’t self-destructive or anything. We don’t take out anger out on others or hit people. We’re good people.”

Dylan nodded his head, scratching at his beard. “Yeah, if we were fucking… I don’t know, horrible people, then I’d be like _‘shit, maybe we do’,_ but we’re good people. We didn’t turn out like him, and we all tried hard not to. So, I think we did a good job.”

Harry smiled in agreement, he didn’t feel like getting into a big argument with them over this. On his own, he would look more into his options and if his insurance even covered therapy sessions. They don’t ever talk about it again after that.

+

For the Fourth of July, Harry got invited by Louis to come over to his grandparent’s house for a little get together. Which turned out to be something he did every single year, and Louis wanted Harry to be a part of it.

Harry ended up saying yes, after initially saying no. This meant he would be meeting a big chunk of Louis' family, which also meant he would be meeting Louis’ mom and siblings, who he spoke so highly of.

Usually, Harry would be nervous about making a good first impression on Louis’s family, but he wasn’t. He did feel like he was imposing on their family time, but Louis assured him that there would be people there that weren’t family and that he was more than welcomed.

Harry didn’t usually do anything for the Fourth, or literally any holiday that wasn’t Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Halloween. But, apparently, it was good etiquette to bring something, so he brought a simple cherry pie and a small carrot cake. The shorts that he had ordered had come in the mail recently, and even though they were a tad too short, he put them on anyway. Hunter laughed at him, citing just how pasty and white his legs were, but Harry paid him no mind.

It made it easier that Liam and Zayn were there. Niall went back home to visit family and to attend some birthday parties and two weddings. They let Harry know where to set everything down and he had to convince himself that the only reason people were staring was because he wasn’t a familiar face and not because of his legs. It worked for a little while at least and Liam and Zayn kept him company in the kitchen until Louis came. Hunter went off somewhere to do whatever he got up to. Harry nursed a cold beer while chatting when Louis came in with the brightest smile.

“Hello,” he greeted them, walking over to Harry and giving him a kiss. It was obvious he was in his element, surrounded by all his family. His walk seemed different as he introduced Harry around, he was a lot bouncier in his movement and speech. It eased Harry’s anxiety so much so that meeting Louis' siblings and their mom didn’t phase him.

Jay was a sweet woman. She greeted him with a hug and looked at him and everyone with so much love in her eyes. Harry could tell instantly where Louis got his good looks from, and he told her so in a bold move.

She laughed at him. “Well, he sure as shit didn’t get it from his dad. Thank you, baby.” She said. “And I gotta say, I’m lovin’ the shorts. You’re turning a few heads out here!” She headed back to the grill, leaving Harry stunned in his place by the sheer warm presence of her. And her comment on his shorts. 

He pouted at Louis, face heating up. “I shouldn’t have worn these.”

Louis grinned. “You already know how I feel about your short shorts. I wish they were shorter!”

Harry playfully pushed him. “Fuck off.”

The backyard was huge, perfect for a big family like the Tomlinsons. Tucked in the corner, there was a pool, where a lot of the teenagers hung around and some of the littler kids jumped in. The rest of the kids were running around with water guns and water balloons, playing around in the tree house or swinging on the swings. Women with babies on their hips and a beer in their hands sat with the older people on the porch under tables with umbrellas. Jay had a small crowd around her as she grilled, and some of the men were sitting around, talking about the fireworks show they were going to put on later and who bought the best stuff and from where. 

If Harry had grown up with a loving sense of community like this, he knew things would have turned out different in his life. Maybe, Hunter would be turning five instead of sixteen in a few months, maybe he would have been closer to his mother or felt comfortable enough just being in his skin that he wouldn’t feel like he had to shrink in on himself in order to not be noticed.

It was nice, and he wasn’t jealous of Louis, angry with him or annoyed, like he would have been years ago, when he was more cynical and angry at the world for placing him in the family he grew up in. Harry was happy for him, that he got to grow up in a loving environment filled with people who loved him. It was what he’d always wanted for Hunter, and what he had been depriving himself of after his fathers death thinking that he deserved it.

Louis stayed by his side the whole day. They sipped on beers and helped Jay when necessary, chatted even more shit with Liam and Zayn, and helped make sure everyone had a plate when it was time to eat. The kids ate first, Avery especially as she’d been attached to Jay all day according to Louis. And then after that it was whoever made it after the kids first, which was Louis, of course. Jay rolled her eyes at him, but gave him the biggest burger she could find. 

By the time the first firework went off, Harry had a stomach filled with meat and beer. The taste of smoke still lingered in the air, and the heat had yet to break even though the stars were out. They kissed some here and there, away from the older family and some of the men. Louis assured him that no one cared, but it was still unnerving for Harry to do it so out in the open, so publicly. They held hands though, even though it was too hot for it, and even though both of their hands were sweaty. 

Just as the tables were being cleared and the grill was being cleaned off, as the children went to help the adults clean up, Louis somehow got his hands on a super soaker and Zayn got his hands on some water balloons and they went to war. Harry and Liam ended up drenched, and the adults were all getting in on the fun. 

With Louis' hand in his, they stared up at the fireworks show going on. Louis told them that they never really celebrated the Fourth, and that it was really just an excuse to get the family together and throw a party. He swiped his hair off his forehead just the way Harry liked, and he had the stars in his eyes. Red, whites, and blues flashed across Harry’s face. A bright gold flashed across Louis'. They kissed as a firework appropriately named _‘love bomb’_ went off overhead. 

Harry stepped away for a second, to call his Mom. He got the urge earlier on when he saw Louis and Jay talk and laugh with each other. He wanted to take more time to try and understand his Mom, and to realize she was just as powerless as they were as kids. He wanted to try harder with her, seeing the way Louis and Jay were, he knew they wouldn't be the same, but he at least wanted to try.

She answered on the second ring. “Hello!” she shouted.

Harry had to plug his ears to hear her, making sure the volume on his phone is all the way up. “Mom, hey!”

“Oh! How are you doing?” She asked, like she wasn’t expecting him to call. He never did on the Fourth, so she was right to be surprised. “Are you at a party?”

“Yeah, I’m doing good. Really good actually, and yeah I’m at a party.” He glanced at Louis talking to one of the many twins his family seemed to have. It was his brother, Harry thought. “I just wanted to call to ask how you are?”

“Oh, I’m doing good. I’m actually seeing someone right now. He’s really good to me.” The smile was evident in her voice as she talked. The mention of her relationship had Harry looking over at Louis.

“That’s great, Mom.” He really meant it, he was happy she’d found happiness outside of his dad. “I umm, I found someone too.” More fireworks went off overhead, and Louis peered up at the sky in wonder. Harry had to catch his breath just looking at him. He wanted to go over there and kiss him under a sky full of light, till it was only them left in the world.

“Really?” She said. “That’s so good, baby. Who is she? Oh, I meant _he_.” She giggled.

It made Harry laugh too, her slip up. “Yeah, _his_ name is Louis. And I’m sorta in love with him, and he’s in love with me too. Hunter may think we’re getting married but that’s because he’s a teenager and has no idea how long relationships should be.”

They talked for a little while longer before Harry let her get back to whatever she was doing before he called. They said _I love you’s_ , which was the first time in a while they’d said it. It was strange, but Harry thought he could get used to bringing more love into his life.

Harry walked over, back to the spot where they both stood and took Louis' hand again, greeting him with a kiss out in the open, where Louis deserved to be loved. They pulled back. Louis asked him if he was alright and if he needed to sit down. Harry shook his head, and for the rest of the night, they kissed and held hands as they watched the fireworks.

+

Harry made a friend at work. It shouldn’t have surprised him when it happened. Her name was Sarah, and her boyfriend who also worked there, his name was Mitch. 

He didn’t even realize when it happened, but suddenly he was going out to a karaoke bar with them on his own volition, no coaxing from Louis as he expressed his doubts on going. He just told them yes, and went no problem when it was almost time to be there, thirty minutes early because he was afraid traffic would have screwed him over.

It seemed like an unlikely friendship, but they matched each other’s aura and it was the most fun Harry had had outside of being with Louis and his friends. It soothed that little voice in his head that told him he’d never be able to make friends of his own without Louis, a voice that started to become louder and louder once he realized he didn’t have friends of his own.

Louis, of course, was proud of him when Harry told him on the many days they’d started seeing each other during the week. Harry told him about how Mitch loved playing the guitar and was in a little garage band, and how he never laughed at his jokes. And Louis told him he’d always laugh at his jokes, even when they weren’t funny. Harry shoved him as he laughed.

They had their first official date a week after the big party on the Fourth. Louis was the one who set it up, and he didn’t tell Harry a thing about what he had planned. He just told Harry to put on those shorts he loved and to make sure he put on sunscreen so he didn’t get a nasty burn like he himself did a few days ago.

He picked Harry up on a Saturday. He was wearing blue jean shorts, the same ones Louis loved so much, a white t-shirt and a rainbow sweater Hunter had found for him recently. Louis told him that Avery would absolutely love that sweater, and took a picture of him wearing it to show her later. Louis wore shorts as well, albeit, ones that went to his knees, and a black shirt with a lighthouse on it. His hair was light and feathery, swept across his forehead effortlessly like he just rolled out of bed and into a fashion catalog. 

He was so lucky to be in love with such a beautiful human. He couldn’t help but to smile at Louis the entire car ride to their destination, noticing the way his mouth formed a v shape when he was trying to hold in a smile, or the way his beard grew, the little grey hairs that peppered the sides of his head. In a few years, he’d be a full silver fox, and just the thought of that had Harry excited.

Louis gave him a look when he noticed him staring. They turned into a parking lot. “What? Is there something on my face?” He licked his lips.

Harry shook his head. “No, you’re just really beautiful.”

Louis gave him a smug smile. “Alright, thanks. You’re really beautiful, too. Loving these shorts, as you know.” He reached over and gripped Harry’s thigh. If they weren’t driving, Harry would reach over and kiss him. They parked soon enough, and Harry got his chance. It didn't last too long, though, before Louis was unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out.

Harry got out as well and made his way to the truck with Louis, noticing him pulling out a big picnic basket and two thick giant blankets. He handed Harry the blankets, and they walked through the park until they reached a small stage.

“What’s this?” Harry asked, as Louis took the blankets away from him and laid them down on the soft freshly mowed grass. The area where the stage was was surrounded by trees and bushes – the whole park was. It felt more like they were in a forest than a park, and seeing as it took them an hour just to get there, they just might as well be in one. There were barely any people around, but Harry could still hear the sounds of children playing just off to the side.

Someone was playing a song on the stage and there were a few people sitting around much closer than they were. Louis pulled him down on the blanket after getting everything ready while Harry stared at the beautiful scenery around them.

On top of the soft plaid blanket, there was a picnic. Two wine glasses that looked to be filled with the store bought lemonade that was off to the side. A plethora of food was laid out between them, and a smiling Louis sat at one end, legs criss crossed.

As far as first dates went, this was the best one Harry had ever had, even if it was his only one. He did get a little teary eyed when he first sat down, and he couldn’t stop kissing Louis for at least the first five minutes after he wiped his tears away. The live music in the background just made it all the more special, providing a nice soundtrack to their date as someone covered a Hozier song that Harry had been obsessed with recently.

Louis laughed at him when he waved his hands in the air in time with the beat. 

The food was delicious. Louis made a charcuterie board with many meats, cheeses and freshly baked bread and crackers, with an assortment of nuts and hummus. And another one filled with different kinds of fresh fruits.

Harry moaned when he took his first bite. “Did you really make all of this?” He asked for the third time that day. They’d switched their lemonade to wine, Harry thought he was getting a little too into the food.

Louis chuckled. “ _Yes_ , I did make this. My mom helped me, and my grandma, and Avery. It’s honestly probably one of the best things I’ve ever made. Like, as simple as this was, really, it tastes so fucking amazing.”

Harry threw his head back in laughter and Louis mouthed at his neck. At the start of the date, they were sitting across from each other, but as they’d finished eating, Louis had made his way over to Harry’s side. His head was in his lap, occasionally sitting up to kiss him. 

The stage had garnered a larger crowd, mostly full of people their age, sitting on their own blankets and drinking their own wine. 

Louis told him some stories about growing up in such a huge family and Harry opened up more about growing up as the youngest. They cooled it on the wine when they started to get a little too handsy with each other. And as day turned to night, they noticed that in a few trees scattered around, there were little fairy lights in them. It made Harry want to get up and dance, and maybe that was the wine talking but he pulled himself up and dragged Louis up with him. They swayed together, under the night sky with a live cover band playing Minnie Riperton’s _Lovin’ You_ in the background, a rendition slower than the original. 

They swayed like trees on a windy afternoon night. It caused other couples closer to the stage to get up and sway too.

On the ride back to Harry’s house, after they’d completely sobered up and cleaned their mess, they held hands the entire ride back. And when Louis walked Harry to his doorstep, they kissed for what felt like a lifetime, and Harry thought that if a meteor would come and wipe the Earth away, he would be content with being frozen in time like this. Surrounded by love and all its pleasures.

+

Gemma had her baby on a sunny day in August. 

Harry got the phone call at one in the morning from Gemma herself. He could hear their mom fussing over her in the background as Gemma told him she just flew in a week ago to New York, that her midwife was coming over soon and that the baby would be there in the next few hours. He didn’t go back to sleep after that.

They FaceTimed throughout the day as she kept him updated on everything that would happen in the next few hours. The midwife, and even Dylan and Melissa made a brief appearance, Dylan giving him shit for not being there, but Harry just shrugged. Gemma told him to knock it off and that he was there in spirit and that it was her fault she didn’t inform him early. 

Harry even got to talk to a panicked Adam. And as it neared midnight, Harry was already in bed watching some TV show on his laptop with a sleepy Hunter next to him, he got the most important Facetime of his life.

Watching the birth of his nephew brought him to tears, and the pull to be around his family, and the ache from missing them, and missing this in person was almost too much. It was a new feeling, one he never knew the feeling of, to miss his family, when all of his life he’d been trying to stay away as much as he could. It was how he kept himself safe when he was younger, but he was older now, and all the survival tactics he picked up growing up were no longer needed. So, he let himself feel that deep ache, promised himself that as soon as he could he would be on a flight to meet little Oliver in person.

After the FaceTime, he called Louis with a tear streaked face and a big smile as he relayed the information over. 

“Gemma had her baby!” He whispered, mindful of the sleeping Hunter next to him. He clocked out as soon as he got a little glimpse of baby Oliver. He told Gemma that he resembled an alien and almost got cussed out.

“That’s wonderful!” He said, just as gleeful as Harry was even though it was almost midnight. “Send me a picture, baby?”

Harry felt his eyes widen at the nickname, and he couldn’t help the way the muscles in his face freezed up as he did the little frog face Louis loved so much. “I’ve never been someone’s baby before.”

“Well, now you’re mine. And I’m yours.”

Harry wished he could see Louis' face right now, because he’d be kissing it all over and over until he couldn’t anymore, until he was breathless just as he wa in his room. “I love the sound of that.”

Louis laughed, “I’m sure you do, baby.”

+

There second date went like this:

It took Harry a little while to find something for them to do, but the remnants of summer still lingered in the air, dosing itself on anything it could reach. That meant Louis was still getting little sunburns well into August, while his skin, simultaneously, was golden under the sun's ray. 

And because Harry didn’t want Louis to always make the first move, and always plan out their dates and outings, he told Louis that he was planning their second official date. _Official_ , because he was sure at this point that they’d been on a lot of mini dates since even before they were officially together. He thought back to the first time they met at the overpriced cafe with its overpriced teas, coffees and muffins and how nervous he was.

Harry stumbled on a site selling tickets for a Shakespeare comedy play in a famous theatre that was in the city, two hours from Piemouth. He bought two tickets on a day he knew neither of them had work, and when he told Louis where they’d be going, Louis told him he’d book them a hotel to stay at for the night. Butterflies and nerves erupted in his stomach at the mere thought of spending a whole night with Louis and falling asleep next to him in the same bed.

The hour before he had to go over to Louis’ and pick him up, Harry packed an overnight bag, and realized this would be Hunter’s first time being alone overnight. As much as he really shouldn’t, Harry trusted him of course to not to burn down the house and throw a huge party. But did he trust him not to burn down the house because he kept forgetting when he put things in the oven? No.

Louis told him Avery would be staying at her grandparents house. If Harry had a better relationship with his mother, and lived closer to her Hunter would be there.

Once his overnight bag was packed, Harry set the ground rules for Hunter to follow while he was gone. Afterwards, he went to pick up Louis and they only stopped once to get some gas for the trip. They got some snacks for the short journey. Louis told him his penchant for salt and vinegar chips was disgusting, but he kissed him all the same.

They checked themselves into the hotel just thirty minutes before the play started. They were already dressed for it, so they just set their bags down near the door of the room and left before they could have a look around.

Throughout the play, they held hands, and Harry couldn’t help the way it made him feel when people noticed, but he wasn’t ashamed, and he didn't want to let go of Louis’ hand. He held onto it tighter, leaning closer and closer until they were both stuffed up against the armrest like two infatuated fools who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. 

The play they went to see was called _Much Ado About Nothing_ , and it was the first play Harry had ever seen before. It was funny and he had to stop himself from honking with laughter at some scenes, and being enamoured with Louis while he watched the play and Harry watched him.

After the play, they went out to eat something, and as far as second dates went, it was the best one he’d ever been on. He told Louis as much, which earned him a laugh and a kiss.

“I’m happy that I’m literally the best date you’ve ever had, even though I’m the only date you’ve ever.” He said over his wine and pasta.

Harry giggled, shrugging. “I guess the next person has a pretty big quota to fill.”

Louis raised an eyebrow, eyeing Harry playfully. “Next person, ehh? Getting rid of me already, _baby_?”

Harry shook his head, a sly grin on his face. “You’ve set the bar too high. You’re it for me, nothing could pass this, and all the time that I’ve spent getting to know you and being with you.” Louis had left his mark on Harry, and it’d be pretty hard to shake off, so he decided to let it stay there forever, a permanent symbol of the love they had.

Louis' thumb brushed across his knuckle, they’d been holding hands all day. “You’re it for me, too.”

The ride back to the hotel was short, but it felt like the longest ride of Harry’s life. They didn’t stop holding hands for a second, even as Harry drove, and when they were walking through the lobby to their floor, and not even when they walked through the door together. The hotel room was furnished and decorated in muted colors, and really the focal point of the room was the huge bed in the middle.

They let go when Louis went to take his shower, and in a random moment of boldness Harry wanted to ask if they could take one together. But that felt like a fourth date kinda thing, so he didn’t ask. When Louis was done in the shower and came out dripping wet with a towel slung loseley around his waist, Harry made a beeline for the bathroom to take his own shower, coming out in a long fluffy robe and a towel wrapped around his hair. Louis went back into the bathroom and came out in the matching robe, and they got in bed together with the robes on, turning the tv on to something they both watched and just sitting and enjoying each other’s company. It was a stillness that was new in their relationship, and Harry reveled in that feeling. 

It felt like there were a million miles in between them, so Harry shuffled closer, which caused Louis to shuffle closer too. A peak of his thigh fell out of the robe and Harry couldn’t help but stare. He shifted his legs, and then they were exposed, and he knew Louis was staring. They kissed, of course, because that was how things were going naturally. Harry expected it, the slow pull until they came together like two galaxies crashing into each other to create one giant galaxy. 

And things got heated, which Harry expected as well. Suddenly, they were laying down, the towel that was around his head was now fanned out on the pillow below. Louis was getting closer and closer, until his body was practically draped across Harry’s. It was nice, and the weight of him brought Harry a moment of clarity. He sighed into the kiss, content. And then Louis was undoing his robe, and Harry’s hands found their way to his wrist to stop him. They broke apart.

“Sorry,” Louis murmured. 

“It’s okay. I’m not ready for that.” He said, adding a ‘yet’ in a few seconds later.

Louis nodded. “Okay, boundaries are good. I guess we really should talk about this aspect of our relationship.”

“Okay,” Harry said. “Okay, umm, I’m not ready for sex yet. I’m very inexperienced, and I’d just like to take things slow in that regard.”

Louis hummed. “I understand completely. We can go slow, and we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can just kiss some more. Sorry about the robe thing, I should have asked.”

Harry shook his head. “It’s okay, really.” He said. “I just wasn’t expecting it. But, I want to touch you and feel you, sans robe.”

Louis laughed. “I want the same, but only if you really do. And like I said, we don’t have to do anything tonight, we can just kiss and then go to sleep.”

“Okay, I’d like that. And I do want that, to touch a little without the robe.”

“Okay,” Louis said, a smile on his face. They went back to kissing, and suddenly the robes were off, and the lights were off, and the only source of light that they had was from the tv and a lamp glow in the far corner of the room. 

Feeling Louis on top of him, skin to skin, thigh to thigh and chest to chest awakened something in Harry. A new found boldness that had him spreading his legs wider, his hand creeping down Louis' spine and stopping at the dip in his back, the space just before his ass. Louis gasped softly, and Harry could feel them both fattening up as they rocked back and forth. 

In a moment of pure bliss, Harry panted. “No one has ever touched me this way before.” They rocked against each other faster and harder, mouths open and the sounds of their moans filling the air.

Louis groaned, but didn’t respond, and soon they were spilling on each other. Louis had collapsed beside him,and they fell asleep tangled together. Harry couldn’t tell where he ended and Louis began.

The next morning wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. They showered together, which turned out not to be a fourth date kind of thing. They couldn’t stop touching, not just in the shower, but in the room as they packed their things and got ready for the drive back. Louis shuffled past him and put a hand on his hip.

In the lobby, as they stopped by the front desk to check out, Louis kept his arm around Harry’s waist as if to guide him. And when they got in the car, they immediately locked hands, and Harry kissed Louis’ knuckle just to make him smile and blush. 

The drive back home was silent, save for the radio that Louis turned on thirty minutes in. He could feel Louis’ gaze on him, and he glanced a few times just to see if his suspicions were correct, and they were. Louis was looking at him with something undecipherable in his eyes.

“What?” Harry asked, rubbing his thumb over Louis’ knuckle. An hour in and they were still holding hands. “Why are you staring at me?” 

Louis shrugged. “Just staring at the love of my life.”

Harry rolled his eyes, he couldn't stop the slow spread of a smile. It started off scrunched up, and Louis poked at him for it, before it turned into a wide grin. Teeth and all. “That’s so cheesy.” he said. “Since when are you such a cornball?”

He hummed, still staring at him. “What do you think about being a foster parent?”

Okay, Harry was not expecting him to say anything like that. He glanced at Louis, bewildered, quickly turning back to focus on the road ahead of them. “Umm, I never thought about it before? Why?” They locked eyes for a brief second.

“I’ve thought about it before, being a foster dad, but I don’t know.” He said. “What do you think about having kids together?”

Harry almost choked on his spit. He guffawed, “What?! We haven’t even been together that long and you’re thinking about having kids with me?”

From the corner of his eye he saw Louis nod, a big smirk on his face. “I think being in love with you has made me legitimately crazy.” He said. “But I do want that if you will. But if you don’t,” he shrugged. “Just pretend this never happened and I never said anything that outlandish before.” 

“I do,” Harry said. Louis asked him some more out of the blue questions. 

The sun was so _so_ bright and Harry couldn’t stop smiling and laughing, at the absurdity of Louis and all his weirdness and the things that love had done to him. His eyes were wet, and he should’ve pulled over, but he didn’t. He kept going, Louis' hand in his as they drove home.

**Author's Note:**

> [Fic post here](https://leedsau.tumblr.com/post/637498528218906624/to-know-im-gonna-be-alright-by-leedsauaiienharry)


End file.
